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Mongolia

Mongolia

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We made it to Inner Mongolia the first time around, but the logistics of getting to Mongolia proper were just too hard to manage back then.

Mongolia is a basically an oval shaped country (2,400 km E-W and 780 N-S) wedged between China and Russia. Three quarters of the place is open pasture (The Steppe) which supports the huge herds of grazing animals for which the country is known. Mongolia is considered the world’s least densely populated nation, with 3.3 million people spread over 1.5 million square kilometres.

While many countries are denying or denouncing their imperial past, Mongolia is bucking this trend vehemently. They have proudly and brazenly embraced it. So much so that everything is about the great Mongol empire and their most famous of leaders.

Genghis Khan (1162-1227) known locally as Chinggis Khan, was a warrior-ruler and one of the most famous conquerors of history. He first consolidated the disparate tribes into a unified Mongolia and then expanded the empire through to the Adriatic Sea.

The empire lasted almost 400 years after his death. Mongolians see him as a symbol of their country’s strength and resilience.

The Mongolian nation was officially proclaimed in 1924, with the capital set around the main monastery of the Bogd Gegeen (spiritual leader) and was renamed Ulaanbaatar (“Red Hero”). While technically ‘independent’, for the first 70 years it was actually a one-party state closely tied to Russia (the Soviet Union). It received all technical, economic, and military assistance from Russia and generally followed Russian guidance in all matters political and economic, while building a socialist society.

After the collapse of the USSR, Mongolia ended the monopoly and embraced free multiparty elections, coalition governments, a new constitution, and installed greater cultural and religious freedoms.

Our entry saw us flying in to the Chinggis Khan International Airport (virtually everything here is/was named after Chinggis). This saw the first actual panic occur in the time since we have been away (600 days ago). Having no local currency Jill hit the ATM (as usual) but mid-transaction she was hit by the blue screen of death as the machine shut down and rebooted itself (with our card inside). Needless to say, some internal panic ensued over the next few minutes. But our card eventually spat out and we used a different machine, got our money and started the usual SIM card and taxi negotiations.

The airport is about 50 km out of town and provides you with an excellent opportunity to get a true sense of what you are getting yourself into. Flying in there is a single bitumen road (three lanes wide in each direction) and everything else is a dirt road or a paddock. Driving on the bitumen road, you pass gers (the local Yurt version), herds of cows, horses, goats and some truly stunning scenery.

The cab ride in was astounding with some of the most amazing landscapes, sculptures and wildlife. Our first glimpse of a steppe eagle in full flight was just stunning. These huge muscular birds are quite the sight and can be easily spotted just glancing out the windows.

After a while the dirt roads on the sides give way to the city, enter the appearance of some amazing (and sometimes a bizarre) statues along the roads. The first thing that catches your eye is the abundance of Prius vehicles. Quite literally every second vehicle on the road is a Prius.

Ulaanbaatar is home to half of Mongolia’s three million population and is the coldest capital city in the world with heavy snow and cold lasting for three months.

As we were here in early summer, we missed all of this cold weather, and enjoyed some cool evenings and pleasant days in the mid-20’s. The cold is due to:

  • its high elevation (1350m),
  • relatively high latitude,
  • being hundreds of kilometres from any coast,
  • the effects of the Siberian high.

These factors combine to deliver winter temperatures of -40 degrees Celsius. With a temp range from -40 in winter to plus 35 in summer, Mongolia has an extreme and inhospitable climate where only the hardiest survive. Forty percent of the population still live as nomadic herders.

Ulaanbaatar (or just UB for us well travelled types) is surrounded by 4 sacred mountains (Bayanzurkh, Bogd Khan, Songinokhairkhan and Chilgeltei). South of UB, Bogd Khan Mountain is proclaimed as sacred and was declared a protected area in 1783, which made it the oldest national park in the world.

Our accommodation was at a boutique hotel, quite literally in the middle of everything. We were directly opposite the national museum, a block from the Chinggis Khan museum, right next door to the Parliament building and Sukhbaatar Square. This meant that our step count would not be high, but we were sure to see everything (around town at least). Bit worried about the gas mask in the cupboard though.

Almost immediately opposite our hotel was the National Museum, which would also be our first port of call. It was a great collection of all things Mongolian with a particular emphasis on the national dress over the years. Given that the Chinggis Khan museum was only a block away, that bit was a bit light on. But I was interested to find out that Mongolia had its own astronaut (Jügderdemidiin Gürragchaa) who went into space in 1981 as part of the Russian space program.

Being a Tuesday, the Chinggis Khan museum was shut so it was off to Sukhbaatar Square.

In the early 1800s, when UB was still in its infancy, a large square was constructed as the city’s center with the name “Great Freedom” (Ikh Choloo). After the People’s Revolution of 1921, the area was called “Indrin Square” and in 1946 was renamed “Damdin Sukhbaatar Square” to honor the Mongolian independence hero. It was renamed to Genghis Khan Square in 2013 and changed back in 2016.

The square houses statues of Genghis Khan, Sükhbaatar, and Sanjaasürengiin Zorig (who helped lead the democratic revolution of 1990).

At the top (north) of the square is the Mongolian Parliament Building and the square is surrounded by some great soviet era old buildings that include, the stock exchange, the cultural centre (Соёлын Төв Өргөө), state opera and ballet and the usual big (local) banks.

National Parliament of Mongolia is the home of all government related stuff. The front of the palace has statues of Genghis Khan, Ögedei Khan, and Kublai Khan.

The statue of Genghis Khan is guarded by two of his generals Muqali and Bo’orchu on horseback.

At the southern end of the Sukhbaatar Square you find the bizarrely out of place Blue Sky Tower (Хөх тэнгэр цамхаг). This is an ultra-modern 25 story, 105 meter, steel and glass skyscraper that houses luxury apartments, a 200-room hotel, restaurants, and office and conference space. To say it stands out is an understatement.

The second day it was off to the Chinggis Khan Museum. As you can imagine, this one had much more about the development of the empire and the tools of war, as opposed to the traditional costumes from the day before. Until recently there was no photos allowed but now for about $20 you can purchase an authorising lanyard and take some happy snaps.

Next stop for us was down to the State department store. Back in the soviet days this was the only (official) place to get your items. It was written up as an attraction in its own right. For us it was a six storey shopping hell. It was basically a Westfield, with all of the usual stores, selling pretty much what every shopping mall sells. The fur section was a little bit special and I did spend some time looking at a fur stoal made from a white arctic fox with head intact.

Our next day was meant to be off to the Palace (officially the Winter Palace of the Bogd Khan) but it was about a 2.5 km walk and the weather (rain) set in fairly nastily. Add to this the bride not feeling 100% in the preceding days, we decided to hide and boycott until the next day. Built between 1893 and 1903, the palace is where Mongolia’s eighth Living Buddha, and last king, Jebtzun Damba Hutagt VIII (often called the Bogd Khan), lived for 20 years. 

To say that the palace has seen better days in underselling the situation. Extreme temperature fluctuations (-40 to +35) has seriously taken its toll on the older buildings. Despite this the Palace houses some important items (such as the Mongolian Declaration of Independence from China in 1911) as well as some gifts received from foreign dignitaries. Some of these include: a pair of golden boots from a Russian tsar, a robe made from 80 foxes and a ger lined with the skins of 150 leopards. The Bogd Khan had a thing for unusual wildlife and there is an impressive display of stuffed animals in the palace. At one point the Bogd purchased an elephant from Russia for 22,000 roubles.

Hidden in behind the Blue Sky tower you can find the Choijin Lama Temple Museum. This is a complex of five temples with elaborate paintings, colorful masks, and ornate statues. The monastery was built between 1904 and 1908 for the Choijin Lama, a brother of the Bogd Khaan who became Mongolia’s first leader after independence.

Most of the top things to do in UB are actually outside the city. So the next day it was in a car and out of town on a day trip in and around the natural beauty that is Mongolia. A hundred Aussie bucks bought us a car and driver for the day with an itinerary to boot.

The most famous of thing to see is the Genghis Khan Statue Complex, about 54 kilometers outside UB. At its heart stands a 40 meter tall statue of guess who, perched atop a 10 meter pedestal.

The complex stands on the bank of the Tuul River and was built to commemorate the 800th anniversary of Genghis Khan’s birth. It is the world’s largest equestrian statue. The base consists of 36 supporting columns, representing 36 great Khans (Mongol kings) with the entrance gate to the complex being decorated with statues of the nine generals (noyons) of Genghis Khan. 

To say that you can see this thing from afar is a tad obvious. Construction took three years, cost $4 million and used 250 tons of stainless steel. It opened in 2008, and the interior houses an art gallery, museum, a dress up shop, and the obvious souvenir and coffee shops, etc.

Most importantly, it houses the world’s largest boot (maybe). I say maybe because google doesn’t list it as such. This one is 9 meters tall and the one listed on the internet (in the USA) is only 16 foot (about half the size) tall.

There is probably some weird rule as to why this doesn’t count, but I don’t know.

Apparently, the current version of the complex is just phase one. Over time it is planned to place a whole town of the yurts to make up a thematic town, revealing all sides of Mongolian life. The complex was built here (Tsonjin Boldog) because according to legend, Genghis Khan found a whip in this area. In Mongolia, people believe that man finding a whip is a sign of fortune, good destiny, and occasion. The statue faces east, the direction of Genghis Khan’s birthplace.

After the statue it was off to the Terelj National Park. This is one of the most accessible national parks in the country, being about 70 km northeast of UB. It is known for its picturesque alpine scenery, interesting rock formations, and outdoor activities.

In short, we spent hours driving through some of the most amazing scenery that you can come across. We stopped at some obvious spots (like turtle rock) for photo opportunities, but in reality almost every second presented photo opportunities (the single lane road just wasn’t designed for stopping).

A small portion of the National Park has been developed for tourists, with hotels and tourist ger camps set up. These obviously come with the associated restaurants and souvenir shops. In addition there is a bunch of locals set up to take bus loads of (predominately) Koreans on horseback rides, hiking, rock climbing, swimming, rafting, and bird-watching trips.

Our next stop was to be the Zaisan Memorial which was built on a hill to just south of town to commemorate those Mongol and Soviet soldiers killed in World War II. Sadly the mountain it stands on was shut to shore up some landslide activity – so we missed out.

While we missed out on climbing the mountain, at the point we got turned around, we had a perfect view of the big buddha.

Built in 2006 the Buddha statue looks through the entire UB city and protects the city from any danger.

Speaking of missing out, Eastern Mongolia has the Ikh Burkhant complex which has a 90 meter high stone Buddha built into the hillside. It was built between 1859-1864.

Naadam Festival

Sadly we missed this one by a couple of weeks (we were at Brads birthday when it was on), but this is the main festival of the nation. It is the most important holiday and biggest event on the Mongolian Calendar. The Naadam Festival includes the “Three manly games”. These are sports competitions of Wrestling, Horse racing and Archery. Despite the name, women participate in the archery and horse-racing games, but not in Mongolian wrestling.

The main festival is held in the capital UB, however smaller versions are replicated though the provinces and villages (soums). It begins with an elaborate Opening Ceremony featuring dancers, athletes, horse riders, and musicians.

Mongolian Wrestling (bökh), has no time or weight limits, and bouts end when one of the opponents hits the ground. Bökh wrestlers’ costume consists of 2 parts: upper part is called zodog and the lower part is called shuudag. The zodog & shuudag are usually bright red or blue. Wrestlers complete their looks with Mongol hat & Mongol boots.

Mongolian horse racing as featured in Naadam is a cross-country event, with races 15-30 km long. The riders are children (girls and boys), with the oldest being 10 years old and the youngest only 4. The racing routes are straight requiring less navigation and more speed and endurance.

Traditionally, children rode without saddles but modern consideration for the jockeys’ safety has introduced regulations requiring saddles, stirrups, helmets, vests, knee and elbow pads. In addition to this each rider must be covered by accident insurance.

Mongolian Archery involves 360 targets that are put up for the archery competition. In this competition, both men and women participate; men fire 40 arrows from 75 meters away while women fire 20 arrows from 60 meters away. The winners of the contest are granted the titles of “National marksman” and “National markswoman”.

Mongolian traditional homes – “the Ger or Yurt” are important part of Mongolian national identity. But, in rapidly growing UB’s life, you can see the ger districts on the fringes.

Mongolian Statues

Almost everywhere you look as you wander about town you end up running into some pretty interesting statues. Some are of the famous Khans etc, but many others are just there. they can be found at almost every intersection. Some you have to hunt for while others jump out at you. My favourite was the Predator riding an Alien motorcycle, or the whole caravan of camels in the middle of a roundabout.

Taxis

While wandering the city we did learn the trick of the local cab system though. Basically, every car is potentially a taxi, just wander along with your arm dangling out a bit and somebody will stop. I suggest you are more organised than I was, as my pronunciation left much to be desired. Maybe take a screenshot of where you want to go and just show the driver, knowing the distance in advance makes the price calculation and end of trip communication much easier. The fee is 2000 tugrik (about a 90c) per kilometer and I just rounded up the parts of a kilometer based on the google map distance.

The Black Market

Our last full day saw us venture to Naran Tuul or the Black Market (using the above taxi method). As sketchy as a Black Market sounds, nowadays it is all pretty legit. There are warnings of pickpockets and bag snatchers and scammers trying to elicit an entrance fee to the free market, but none of these eventuated for us.

What really strikes you about UB’s Black Market is how much and what there is for sale. This is a market aimed at the locals and seeing what is on sale makes you realise how different Mongolia is to the rest of the world. The size of the material section was huge. Rows after rows of material and sewing gear. Clearly many of the clothes remain home made.

For me most of the interest lay in the boots. Mongolian boots are truly a thing of beauty, not just the pointy toed traditional types (gutuls), or the warm felt Ugg boot type things, but just the normal everyday boot. They are magnificently made, of the softest leather, and are really nicely styled.

This is the big drawback of this sort of travel, our souvenirs and trinkets must be small and light. Otherwise the likelihood of me leaving with some fantastic boots was high.

Mongolian Cashmere

Mongolian cashmere is widely considered to be the best in the world. The harsh climate makes it an ideal environment for cashmere goats to grow thick undercoats.

Cashmere is a type of wool obtained from the soft undercoat of the cashmere goat. The wool is harvested during the spring molting season when the goats naturally shed their undercoat. Mongolia is the largest producer of cashmere, accounting for more than 50% of the global production., with India, China, Iran, Afghanistan, and Kazakhstan producing the majority of the rest.

And here you can find it almost everywhere you look. Like everything else in Mongolia, it is mot cheap, but the quality is exceptional.

Mongolian Food

Food in Mongolia is certainly a melting pot. Today, you can get just about anything you want and the quality is pretty good. If you look at the surrounding nations and those that at one time made up the empire, it is pretty normal to think that the variety would be wide.

There are plenty of local restaurants offering (some) traditional dishes that are worth the effort in tracking down. And some other traditional dishes that maybe only for the more adventurous (more about that below). Veggies in summer were tough to find and I assume that this is worse in winter. Many of the local dishes are high in meat content (but there’s nothing wrong with that).

Chinese is everywhere, as is burgers and pizza, Turkish, Italian, Indian, Korean and Japanese. Then the surprising ones come into play Mexican was the one that threw me most. But we had Uzbek, saw Azerbaijani, Kyrgyz, Irish pubs, Vietnamese, Spanish tapas and a surprising number of vegan and vegetarian restaurants (we didn’t go there).

Local Dishes

Khuushuur or Huushuur – A local version of a deep fried meat pie that more resembles a pasty or an empanada. The filling is just meat and onion.

It was the first thing that we ate on night one as a beer snack (they looked small and bite sized) but they came out the size of your hand and we ended up not needing dinner.

Buuz is the Mongolian version of the steamed dumpling commonly found throughout the region. It is basically a local version of the Chinese baozi or the Nepalese Momo.

Bansh is like the buuz but smaller and boiled in a soupy kind of broth rather than steamed. The filling usually comes from either a cow, goat, sheep, horse, or camel.

Tsuivan is a local stir fry made with home made fresh noodles with vegetables and a meat of some kind. Not the most thrilling meal about, but hearty and filling.

Chanasan makh is next and it is basically just boiled meat. Not really too much to say about this one, it is what it claims to be.

Khorkhog is a goat stew that uses the entire goat and is cooked on open fire with hot rocks. The quirk here is the belief that holding the hot stones after cooking helps to relieve tiredness and improve blood circulation.

Boodog involves using the actual skin and fur of the animal as the cooking vessel. The animal is butchered with skin remaining intact and is sealed up having been filled with the meat, vegetables, and hot rocks to cook from the inside out.

Guriltai Shul is one of the most popular noodle soups in Mongolia. It is considered to be the classic dinner staple – basically just boiled mutton with handmade wheat-flour noodles.

Vitals soup is popular for being very nutritious. It is part of Mongolia’s culture that no part of an animal is wasted and so Vitals Soup is offal. Made with the lungs, hearts, intestines, liver, stomach and kidneys of an animal. 

Needless to say that neither Jill nor I rushed to order the Vitals soup. Budaatai huurga is a nice simple (inoffensive) local fried rice version with mutton.

Last and definitely least is Airag, or Kumis this is considered to be the country’s national beverage. It is fermented mare’s milk. We had it in inner Mongolia a decade ago and it was terrible. The memory was strong enough for us to both avoid it at all costs.


Mongolian Beer

This was a tough one. Having once had such a mighty empire, the beer was highly variable. Some of the best beers that we have had were in Kyrgyzstan who had adopted the best of Czech brewing practices to deliver some really tasty beers, and you could find some really tasty ones here. But at the same time the empire stretched east, which brought into play the lighter Chinese style brews. These were much more gassy and less flavoursome.

Possibly the hardest part of the beers was working out what you were actually drinking. Niislel (Нийслэл), Sengur (Сэнгүр), Borgio (Боргио), Golden Gobi (Алтан Говь), Jalam Khar (Жалам Xар) and finally the only one I could get my tongue around, the Chinggis Pilsner.


Japan

Japan

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Japan has long been on my list, and has been recommended to me by virtually everyone who has ever been here.

The issue that has kept us away for so long was the perception that it was prohibitively expensive. The Japanese pricing just did not fit with our cheap and cheerful travelling style.

Japan is made up of over 6,800 islands but with four main ones being Hokkaido, Honshu (the “mainland”), Shikoku, and Kyushu. Tokyo is the capital and largest city, followed by Yokohama, Osaka, Nagoya, Sapporo, Fukuoka, Kobe, and Kyoto. About 75% of its area is mountainous. 

The most fascinating thing about Japan is the obscure blend of ancient traditions and cutting-edge modernity. Rich and often ancient cultural heritage combines with groundbreaking technology all set in a land of amazing landscapes and wildlife.

The decision to come happened on two fronts, the first was convenience, our journey to Mongolia was easiest with a transit through Japan and secondly, the exchange rate with the AUD was the highest it had been in over two decades.

Our arrival saw us entering Tokyo, Japan’s bustling capital in mid evening, only to be jumped upon by a TV film crew, who wanted to interview us for a local travel TV show. It was a fluff show about where have you travelled to, why did you come to Japan and what did you want to see. The answer to the first question blew them away and we spent the next 30 minutes answering questions about our travels so far. Jill’s hat (with all of the pins on it) drew amazement and the thought that two people would just pack up and disappear seemed totally impossible to the Japanese mindset.

We have no idea if we were selected to be on TV (as we had left by the time it would have aired) but it was to be on Monday evening at 6:30 pm on Channel 7 TV Tokyo.

After this, we very quickly learned that our language skills were heavily lacking. Some serious bumbling about in the train station and we were on our way headed for the hotel. Some weather prompted a train change and some more confusion, but for the most part, getting about was fairly manageable. We finally landed in the hotel after 11pm having left metro Manila 14 hours earlier.

The next morning it was up for a quick breakfast and out exploring. The first thing that strikes you about Japan is how clean everything is. The footpaths are at least 4 meters wide and can be up to 10 meters wide in the busy areas. There is not a rubbish bin in sight but there is zero trash, anywhere. It was even a struggle to find a leaf laying on the ground. And there is no obvious person sweeping up or cleaning anything, people are just tidy and don’t make mess..

Not only is it clean, it is quiet. Having spent the last 2 months in the Philippines and Indonesia, this place is absolutely silent. No honking, beeping, screaming, yelling.

It was lovely.

It was so quiet that there were even decibel meters on the outside of constructions sites to make sure that things stayed at a reasonable level.

Our walk around was on a 30+ degree day with high humidity. Our first stop was to the Nihombashi Bridge that has been linking the city for centuries. The first wooden bridge was completed in 1603 and the current one dates from 1911. In reality the bridge is dwarfed by everything around it, but it is nice.

Next we aimed for the Imperial Palace, but to get there we went via the Tokyo Central railway station. Within no time of getting to the train station we immediately felt that we were in the world’s most populous city with over 37 million people inhabitants. And the majority of them were here.

To say that this place is a maze is an understatement. There is quite literally an entire underground city here. There are kilometers of underground tunnels and passageways that link the high speed rail (shinkansen) to the subway and you can even walk to the nearest five stations completely underground (the furthest a distance of over 2 km), but is faster by train. There are more than 4,000 trains arriving and departing daily.

Having been lost underground for what seemed like an eternity, we popped out relatively close to the Tokyo Imperial Palace and Gardens Area. Here we learned an important lesson. In the most populace city in the world, if you want to do something, you must book, days in advance, and you must queue up for your allotted time slot.

We did not do this, so were content enough to view the palace and gardens from the outside and did not venture in. But suffice to say that the surrounds were also pretty amazing.

Being a cool 33+ degrees with high humidity we chose to walk. From the palace we walked through parks and gardens, stopping at the various shrines and temples that we came across on the way.

From here our exploration took us into the Ginza District which is considered to be one of the most expensive, elegant, and luxurious city districts in the world. It is a popular upscale shopping area (something that we typically try to avoid). Our aim was to go to an interactive digital art museum that offers galleries of immersive and surreal installations (but guess what, you had to book, days in advance). So we wandered around lost for a while, found a place with an (happy hour) amazing lunch which set us back $26 for four beers and a feed. We did however make the booking for 4 days later.

The next morning it was up and on our way to see the lively hub of Shibuya. This is arguably the youth heart and soul of the city. For us it is the home of the scramble crossing, the busiest pedestrian crossings in the world, with sometimes over a thousand people crossing the multi-cornered intersection at a time. The view from the Shibuya Sky observation deck offers an epic view.

When we were there, extensive roadworks had stifled the flow of both traffic and pedestrians. But the tourist trade and normal business activity still meant that the place was manic, god knows what it would be like in full flight.

Japanese Street Fashion – To say that Shibuya is eclectic would be an understatement. The streets of Shibuya are the birthplace to many of Japan’s fashion and entertainment trends.

Just down the road we headed into Shinjuku to see the Godzilla, towering over the Toho Cinema. It is probably the most famous statue in all of Tokyo but on closer inspection, it is just a head and claw.

The area is busy and lively and I was offered sex at 11am by some random dude who wanted to take me to the nearby brothel. I just had to follow him down the alley.

Next it was on a train to the old part of town (Yanaka) where the old town ambience and atmosphere (shitamachi) reminds people of Tokyo from past decades.  It was a funky little neighbourhood without the lights and bling of those we had visited before. The main attraction was the Yanaka Cemetery where many of the tombs are elaborately decorated and nicely landscaped. Paths are well-kept and wide, making it a good place for a tranquil stroll (even in extreme temperatures).

From here we hopped on the local bus and made our way to the Asakusa neighbourhood. Our main reason for going there was to see the Samurai and Ninja Museum, but guess what, you had to book. Thankfully the wait was not too long so we went exploring first.

The first thing that we stumbled across was the Asahi Beer Tower and Asahi Super Dry Hall with its characteristic Flamme d’Or. This was completed in 1989 and is the headquarters of Asahi Breweries.

With some time to kill we kicked back in the backstreets, checking out some funky little shops and restaurants, and even a Kabuki theatre.

Asakusa’s main attraction is Sensoji, a very popular Buddhist temple, built in the 7th century. Having snuck in around the back (it is free to enter we just came the back way) through the side streets we came out from what is usually the main entrance Nakamise. This is a shopping street that has been providing temple visitors with traditional snacks and souvenirs for centuries.

Having seen the masses of people, the temple and bought out our souvenir trinkets we headed back to the Samurai and Ninja Museum which turned out to be a great way to kill an hour or so. Some interesting history, and lots of swords and armour. You can even throw ninja stars against walls and dress up for photos if you want (we passed on the dressing up). The coolest bit was that there was some seriously good artwork on the walls.

Space being a premium here in Japan, even the parking structures were a bit different to what we were used to. I had heard of the stacking system, but had not seen it in action before.

Jill being a raw fish fanatic had been humouring me in the preceding days giving me actual cooked meals, but the time had come for her to get her sashimi fill. We found a restaurant around the corner that allowed here to load up on raw fish and all was right (for her) in the world.

Japan is highly regulated (socially) and it is easy to inadvertently do the wrong thing. But a little bit of preemptive reading and the sort of things that will cause offence are actually pretty sensible and easy to avoid, if you only bother to look. Things not to do in Japan:

  • be late
  • be loud
  • talk on the phone on the train
  • tip at restaurants
  • stand on the right side of the escalator
  • wear shoes on tatami (woven straw) mats

These are actually really really easy to avoid, and for the most part, make life a little more pleasant. Virtually everyone that we came across followed these rules easily. Except the Americans and the French. Whether these two groups are just above such petty conventions or are just too arrogant to care, I do not know. But the only voices that could be heard splitting the silences were always one or other of these two accents, consistently.

The next day was the closest thing to a fail as we have had in years. Don’t get me wrong, we had a lovely day, but apart a fleeting glance (of Mount Fuji) from a train window we did not achieve our goals. We had seen photos like the ones below and thought what a great way to spend a day, so we hopped on the fast train (it is 140km away) to see it.

Japan’s Shinkansen, or bullet trains were our transport. They are world class with some reaching speeds exceeding 321 kilometers (200 miles) per hour. The newest versions have reached speeds of up to 603 km/h (374 mph) in testing.

While in transit, Jill did snap this photo (and a few like it) out of the train window.

So we did see the mountain, just not in the way that we had planned.

Getting off the train we hopped on a slower train that (we thought) would take us closer to the mountain and more specifically Lake Kawaguchi.

Lake Kawaguchi is located at the northern foot of sacred Mt. Fuji, Japan’s highest mountain. This is one of the Five Lakes of Fuji and you can enjoy magnificent Mt. Fuji views from the lakeside. But we got on the train to Odawara and then another to Hakone (still 60kms away from the mountain). To be fair there are about six locations in Hakone where you can enjoy good views of mount Fuji (but we did not go to any of them).

Instead, we got on the Hakone Tozan Cable Car thinking that it would give us the views that we sought. This is one of Japan’s few mountain railways where passengers can enjoy scenery and be wowed as the train climbs steep slopes. In order to climb the mountain, the train zigzags up the slopes using switchbacks where the conductor and driver switch positions. The cable car connects Gora and Sounzan and meets up with the ropeway to Owakudani (which was of course shut due to the winds). So we got near the top of the mountain with the views (on the opposite side) and could go no further.

So a long story short, we left our hotel at 7 am and got back late in the afternoon, in that time we had traveled on fast trains, slow trains, cable cars and saw some amazing sights of rural Japan. But what we actually came to see we got in fleeting glimpses as we went passed it on a super fast train.

As we waited to head home, I did manage to get a few videos of the superfast trains going past.

To say that these are fast and impressive is obvious. These ones even slowed down as they were passing the station.

We did have a great day, and we did see some amazing sights, we just did not really achieve what we had set out to do.

Sumo is a thing that we missed out on while we were here. It is a Japanese style of wrestling and Japan’s national sport with grand sumo tournaments (each lasting 15 days) held six times a year (the odd months).

While we were in Tokyo, there was a tournament on 350 km away in Nagoya. When there is no tournament you are able to head to one of the Sumo Stables to watch the early morning practice sessions. But these are suspended when a tournament is on (so we missed out).

As big as Sumo wrestlers are (many over 200 kg and the heaviest ever maxing out at 288kgs), doctors reckon that they don’t suffer from heart attacks, strokes, or display other symptoms of obesity. Sumo wrestlers consume up to 7,000 calories a day. The secret is in the name, as wrestlers the regular intense exercise prevents the build-up of visceral fat, which causes metabolic and heart disease.

Manga is the Japanese term that refers to both comics and cartooning. The origin is believed to date back to the 12th and 13th century.

After WWII the manga were distributed widely to the population as a distraction from the harsh realities that Japanese people had to face after the war.

They are characterised a distinctive art and narrative style. Genres include action, romance, fantasy, science fiction, and more.

Anime is a Japanese style of film and television animation.

The style is distinctively Japanese and immediately recognisable.

Kabuki is a form of Japanese theatre that mixes dramatic performance with traditional dance.

It is known for its outlandish performances, glamorous costumes, and the elaborate makeup.

Not wanting to miss out, our reservation for the interactive digital art museum finally came up on our last evening in Japan.

The creators describe itself as an international art collective existing at the intersection of art, science, technology, and the natural world.

The group consists of a variety of artists, programmers, engineers, animators, mathematicians and architects; the collective aims to explore the relationship between the self and the world, through new forms of perception.

In reality it was a really high tech maze in darkened rooms with images and lights projected on the walls.

This is actually an over simplification, the lights sensed the presence of a person and bent around you, the exhibitions flew from room to room and around corners.

And colours changed, kids drawings were brought to life and flew across the walls, it was all pretty surreal.

To be honest we have seen almost nothing of Japan. Everything that we did see, we enjoyed but it is a seriously weird place. It is like nowhere we have ever been. Both relaxing and infuriating at the same time. I got totally sick of being lost in underground bunkers, railway stations and shopping malls. We were constantly staring at the GPS trying to work out where we were in an underground land of no reference points.

The exchange rate doubling made it actually really affordable for us, so if things remain favourable, I could envisage us coming back at some point. The food was magnificent.

Turkey

Istanbul

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Turkey has long been a place that both Jill and I have wanted to visit, and it has taken us a long time to get here (life getting in the way and everything). And it is a shame that it has taken us this long as Turkey (along with a number of other European destinations) has had about enough of tourists.

So once upon a time it was cheap to visit Turkey (more specifically Istanbul) the Turkish government used to offer discounts and incentives to attract international tourists and many of the attractions were free. But those days are gone now. In January this year a €25 per person entrance fee was tacked onto the (formerly free) Hagia Sophia which rises to €47 if you want to add the Museum. By way of context, it was about 40% cheaper for us to see the sights and spend the week in the heart of Paris than it was in the heart of Istanbul.

There is an e-pass available that will include a lot of the sights and provide discounts on others. But without the e-pass the current (per person) pricing of main tourist attractions in Istanbul (March 2024) look a bit like this.

  • Visa to come to Turkey in the first place $USD60 ($92 AUD)
  • Hagia Sophia €25 ($42 AUD)
  • Hop On Hop Off (HOHO) bus €45 ($75 AUD)
  • Topkapi Palace and Museum €47 ($78 AUD)
  • Basilica Cistern €26 ($43 AUD)
  • Bosphorus Cruise with Dinner and Turkish Show €35 ($58 AUD)
  • Dolmabahce Palace €38 ($63 AUD)
  • Maiden´s Tower €20 ($33 AUD)
  • Istanbul Aquarium Florya €21 ($35 AUD)
  • Sultan Suleyman Hammam (Turkish Bath House) €50 ($83 AUD)
  • Blue Mosque free (free AUD)

Needless to say, this adds up pretty quick and becomes a very expensive city to visit, and that is before the touts and gouging even starts.

Most of the historic places in Istanbul are located in Fatih (Old City). The Fatih district has a history dating back to 2700 BC and is the place where Istanbul was first founded in ancient times. There are countless monuments and sights to visit on the Historic Peninsula. The most famous of these include the Hagia Sophia, Blue Mosque, Topkapı Palace and Grand Bazaar. These historical sights attract millions of visitors each year and form the showcase of Istanbul.

We arrived in Istanbul and were almost immediately disappointed with what was on offer. Jill had arranged (3 weeks earlier) for a hotel pickup from the airport which was not there. So after hanging around looking for our ride in the wet and cold for 30 minutes, we gave up an got a taxi to the hotel.

Some lame excuses later and we gave up and settled in. It was cold, wet and windy when we arrived (late afternoon) so we decided to keep the movements tight with an early start the next day. Jill had us set up in the heart of Touristville (as almost everything you want to see in the city is in the heart of old town). This was super convenient for seeing the sights but was obscene when it came to touts and pricing of any sort of items.

A kebab dinner (for one) was running well over $20, an Aperol spritz to wash it down with was $27 and my beer was around $12. So we started with some bread and dips and finished with a Turkish Pizza (a bill that ran over $70) all while choking back the smoke fumes from a group of squealing German backpackers. And I was up all night with indigestion after the overpriced and ordinary meal.

Hagia Sophia

The Hagia Sophia was built by the Byzantine emperor Justinian I as the Christian cathedral of Constantinople for the Byzantine Empire between 532 and 537. Sadly this once impressive building has, in many ways, been left to neglect and is a shadow of its former glory. The only saviour to the newly introduced entrance fees is that some of it may go towards building upkeep and restoration works. Don’t get me wrong, it is still seriously impressive, but outside of the (wide) tourism shots (above), the neglect is obvious, especially in the internal mosaics.

Originally built in 532 as the world’s largest place of worship, the Hagia Sophia (Ayasofya) has shifted its identity depending on who was in charge. According to Wikipedia, it was the last of three church buildings to be erected on the site by the Eastern Roman Empire. It was an Eastern Orthodox church from 360 AD to 1204 when it was converted to a Catholic church following the Fourth Crusade. It was reclaimed in 1261 and remained Eastern Orthodox until the Ottoman conquest of Constantinople in 1453. It served as a mosque until 1935, when it became a museum. In 2020, the site once again became a mosque.It has converted from a church to a mosque, and then to a museum.

Let’s just hope that our newly introduced entrance fee does actually get diverted into restoration and upkeep because it would be a shame to watch this deteriorate further.

Grand Bazaar

From the Hagia Sofia, we dodged the rain that kept coming and going and fought our way through the carpet sellers that accost you on the street to ‘come and see my store‘ and made our way to where we thought the real touts would be, the Grand Bazaar. Well we were wrong again, no touts, no yelling no screaming, just a modern shopping mall in an old building. A really nice old building, it was nice, overpriced but it was a bit staid.

I think our time in northern Africa may have spoilt us a bit. Casablanca, Marrakesh and Tunisia had far more character to them (I think Marrakesh is my gold standard for Bazaar’s). They had all grown up in the shadow of the Ottoman Empire and were probably once identical. But the version in Turkey today reflects more of a shopping mall in the US than one in Eastern Europe or Western Asia.

Getting around

Istanbul is a city of 16 million people and is huge. While most of the main sights are concentrated in a small and easily walkable area, if you want to travel a bit further afield then a rechargeable transport card is an essential purchase. It gives you access to cheaper fares than buying single or multi-journey electronic tickets and can be used on the metro, buses, trams and most importantly, the local ferries. You purchase a card for 50 TRY (non-refundable) from marked kiosks, newsstands, or ticket desks inside the metro and top up by machine). Up to five people can share the one card.

Day one had left us tired, wet and a bit jaded about the Istanbul experience. We were note enjoying our time and were desperately seeking some redemption. Thankfully it came, through a lovely little cafe in the opposite direction of the sights.

It still wasn’t cheap, but it wasn’t exorbitant (our beers had come down from 240 to 140 each – $12-$7). And the man who ran it was super friendly (which to be fair they all are) and the food was authentic.

But because it was off the main strip it was a bit more reasonably priced, and we did not feel as besieged.

And the clay pot display made it all worthwhile. So having had our meal we looked forward to the next day a little more.

Blue Mosque

We had seen the outside of the Blue Mosque the previous day (as it is basically opposite the Hagia Sophia) but being a Friday it was closed. So we headed back over the path of the day before and started it all over again. But today the sun was out, the rain had gone away, and the touts knew we weren’t interested in their carpets.

We had gotten the outside photos the day before so raced to beat a tour bus full of French people through the doors of the Mosque. Firstly, I was seriously surprised to find that it was free. It was a really nice spot to visit and we got to enter and take pictures and then move on. A great little way to spend around 20 minutes.

Along the side of the Blue Mosque is a public square on the site of the old hippodrome where the chariots once raced. Today it has the Örme Dikilitaş or Walled Obelisk along with the Obelisk of Theodosius (first erected in the 4th century AD) and the Serpentine Column (an ancient bronze column and former Greek sacrificial tripod). According to wiki the Serpentine Column has one of the longest literary histories of any object surviving from Greek and Roman antiquity. Together with its original golden tripod and cauldron (both long missing), it constituted a trophy, or offering reminding of a military victory, dedicated to Apollo at Delphi.

Basilica Cistern

From the Blue Mosque, we had all the time in the world as we were not running from the rain so we ambled down the hill to the Basilica Cistern which is the largest of several hundred ancient cisterns underneath the city of Istanbul. It was built in the 6th century during the reign of Byzantine emperor Justinian I. The cistern provided a water filtration system for the Great Palace of Constantinople and continued to provide water to the Topkapi Palace into modern times.

The challenge is to find the Medusa’s head once in the cistern. For us it was pretty easy, it was where all the people who had found it before us were milling about. WARNING there is ambient light down here and the area is too large to light with a flash, my phone camera was rubbish. Having a half decent camera would be seriously beneficial.

Having gone past the Tokapi Palace and through the gardens, we hit the shoreline where we hopped a ferry away from the European side of Turkey and over to the Asian side.

As we traversed we passed the Maiden’s Tower or Leander’s Tower (Tower of Leandros). With a name like that, there is obviously a story and it goes…

According to legend, an oracle prophesied that the emperor’s much-beloved daughter would be killed by a venomous snake on her eighteenth birthday. To protect her, the emperor had the tower built in the Bosphorus and had her locked up there to keep her away from snakes. Her only regular visitor was the father, who, on her eighteenth birthday, brought her a basket of exotic fruits as a gift. He was delighted that he had been able to thwart the prophecy. However, an asp had been hiding among the fruit, bit the princess who died in her father’s arms.

Once the ferry stopped we were, in the Turkey that I had always imagined, it was real, it was authentic, it was not obscenely priced and it felt really warm and welcoming. Our beer price had dropped from 280 lire down to 60 ($14 to $3), our food prices were divided by three, and the range and variety of what was available to us was so much better. So we settled in and ate and drank and just soaked up the Turkey that we had been hoping for.

In case you were wondering, if we ever come back we would stay on this side and ride the ferry over to see all the cool stuff but avoid the drama and expense entirely. But sadly, we had to hop on the ferry and return to the tourist hell where we were staying.

Our ferry ride back saw us delivered at the bottom of the hill near the spice market and the Süleymaniye Mosque. The joint was built in the 16th-century under the direction of Sultan Suleiman the Magnificent.

Being a bit away and a bit less ornate, the Süleymaniye Mosque gets a lot less foot traffic but is an impressive sight in its own right.

The next day we were back in the tourist hell part of Istanbul and I instantly hated it again. We tried to go into a restaurant for lunch and were set upon by the guy next door to go to his instead. So I looked at his menu decided it was too expensive ($100 for a meat plate for two) and went next door. We looked at their menu and it was also too expensive so we left there too. At this point the first guy started abusing us yelling that we wanted to eat for free.

We went up the road and got our meat platter for $60 and enjoyed our meal with a minimum amount of fuss or drama.

And it was good.

Topkapi Palace

The Topkapi Palace (and Harem) is one of the best preserved and most beautiful examples of Ottoman architecture. The palace is a maze of courtyards, gardens, and buildings, all surrounded by high walls and topped with ornate roofs. The architecture of the palace is a blend of Islamic, Turkish, and European influences.

Mehmet the Conqueror built the first stage of the palace shortly after the Ottoman Conquest in 1453 and lived here until his death in 1481. Subsequent sultans (22 of them) lived here until the 19th century, when they moved to the flashier European-style palaces they built on the shores of the Bosphorus River. It was converted into a museum after the fall of the Ottoman Empire and the creation of the Turkish Republic in 1924.

Beside the Palace is a public garden that heads away from Sultanahmet Square (the main tourist bit) that is a refreshing escape from all that is behind it. Mass plantings of tulips, stunning hedges, quiet places all behind large stone palace walls.

Topkapı’s Treasury features an incredible collection of objects made from or decorated with gold, silver, rubies, emeralds, jade, pearls and diamonds. Notable items include the jewel-encrusted Sword of Süleyman the Magnificent and the Throne of Ahmed I (aka Arife Throne), which is inlaid with mother-of-pearl and was designed by the same architect that did the Blue Mosque. And the Treasury’s famous Topkapı Dagger, which features three enormous emeralds on the hilt and a watch set into the pommel. Also worth seeking out is the Kasıkçı (Spoonmaker’s) Diamond, a teardrop-shaped 86-carat rock surrounded by dozens of smaller stones that was first worn by Mehmet IV at his accession to the throne in 1648.

Long story short, there was so much to see and do in Istanbul that it was absolutely worth visiting. But I hated it, at least the European side anyway. Everything was grossly overpriced and unnecessarily aggressive. If we came back we would definitely stay away from the tourist mess and catch a ferry across to see it rather than be in the midst of it. This is a turn-up for us as we usually love being in the midst of things, but just not here.

Our schedule has us returning to Turkey (around August) to see some of the rest of the place (Gallipoli, etc). As airlines go, there is probably little option than to return to Istanbul, but the next version will be very different and will see us far from where we stayed this time.

My recommendation is that if you come, and you should, then stay away from the tourist mess (Fatih district) and commute to it. This will be a bit more painful (as you want to be at the main sights right on opening time) but your peace of mind, stomach (and wallet) will thank me greatly. Looking at the map I suggest the Uskudar, Kadikoy or even Beyoglu districts.

Caribbean

St Kitts and Nevis

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Saint Kitts and Nevis is an island country and microstate in the Caribbean and our first official foray into the West Indies (or the Lesser Antilles). With only 261 square kilometres and about 50,000 residents it is one of the top 10 smallest countries in the world.

The capital city is Basseterre and is where we found ourselves landing.

Basseterre is on the larger island of Saint Kitts and is the main port for passengers and goods. The smaller island of Nevis is about 3 km southeast of the main island across a shallow channel called the narrows.

Much like the Dominican Republic, the immediate port arrival is full of all of the tourist things that you would expect (but without the beaches and pools). There were touts aplenty, t-shirt and trinket shops, duty frees, and the general assembly of bars, cafes and restaurants.

Getting around is pretty easy as the streets are typically named after the things that are on the street. So there is Bank St, College Street, Fort Street and so on. There are two main churches in town, the biggest is St. George’s Anglican Church which sits up the hill past all of the initial tourist mess.

The other is the Cathedral of Immaculate Conception which sits closer to the port and opposite the Independence Square park.

As it would happen our wanderings took us up the hill, where we found ourselves at Warner Park, the local cricket ground and home of the local Caribbean Premier League Team. Being a cricket tragic, I had to wander in, on and around a West Indian Cricket Ground. Such a pity there was not a game on, but I will take what I can get.

Saint Kitts and Nevis were one of the first of the islands in the Caribbean to be colonised by Europeans and housed the first British and French colonies. It is also the most recent British territory in the Caribbean to seek and gain independence, gaining it in 1983.

The Brimstone Hill Fortress is a national park, and one of the most popular tourist attractions on St. Kitts. As one of the one of the most well-preserved British polygonal-style fortifications in the Western Hemisphere.

Frigate Bay lies just southeast of the capital and is the home of the tourists who choose to hang out a bit longer than our mere day trip.

The St. Kitts Scenic Railway is a 3-hour ride that circles the island by both narrow gauge train and 12 miles on buses. It was built as a sugar cane railroad and now goes past the island’s sugar plantations and sugar factory.

Now let’s call this one straight. This place is seriously humid. Sweating in hot temperatures is normal for me, but here even Jill was dripping in sweat as we walked around. The thing that does need to be mentioned is the food. Everywhere we went we passed the most amazing smelling restaurants we had ever encountered. As we had come off a cruise ship, we were stuffed but if we ever come back, the food journey will be high on the list.

We did manage to sample the local beers ($2 each) and dipped our toe in the water with a Johnny Cake. The Johnnycake is something that I had heard of but never tried. I asked the lady what it was and got a relatively indecipherable answer so figured the best way wax to just order it and play lucky dip on what arrived. I do tend to do this a lot. The beers were great, but the fried doughy bread thing stuffed with (jerk) chicken and salad could probably have been avoided.

St Kitts was lovely and with a bit more time it would be nice to explore it a little more fully. Reading into what we missed revealed rainforests, sandy and volcanic beaches and given the relatively small size of the place, they are all quite easily accessible with the hiring of a vehicle. And for future reference, August is when the cricket is on and pumping with the Caribbean Premier League.

Fiji

Fiji

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Fiji in an island nation made up of over 300 individual islands. It is a famous tourist destination and has been established and set up with this entirely in mind. It is renowned for rugged landscapes, palm-lined beaches, coral reefs and clear lagoons.

Ever since I was a kid I remember seeing those Fiji package holidays that were always being advertised. They always seemed to include an idyllic resort, flights included and more often than not, they were under a thousand dollars. While the price has gone up (considerably) all of the rest is still available today.

Our trip would take in 3 separate resorts and also include a night at a B&B in Nadi (mainly to avoid a long drive and potential drama on the final travel day). So for the most part we should get a nice spread of what is here.

The first and biggest issue that we had on arrival was getting access to WIFI, and this was our first real introduction to life in Fiji. In order to get access to the mobile data network at the airport, be prepared to hand over your first-born child as the prices are obscene. We had just left Samoa where we got a SIM card with data for 5 tala (about $3) for the month and found that we were now paying $70 Fijian ($55 AUD) for 15 days. And for this amount of money you got a patchy spotty service that kept dropping in and out the whole time.

This got even worse once we got to our second resort, where we were told that if we wanted WIFI in our room then we had to pay an additional $40 Fijian for 3 days access.

This service was slower and even more spotty than at the first place.

Before we go any further, the first thing that must be discussed is Fiji Beer. It is terrible and costs more money than you would pay for beer back home. There are three main options (Fiji Bitter, Fiji Gold and Vonu) and they are all atrocious to drink. Fiji Bitter tastes acrid, while gold is tasteless. Vonu at least borders on passable but if you are given any other choice, I would drink that.  I ended up finding Camel (a Hanoi beer) and grabbed that.

Add to this the price. The cheapest that we could buy a stubbie at a resort was $10 ($6.9) and this went up to $17 ($11.75) at the last place. Before we left Australia, we were buying cans for $3.50 at the Emu Park RSL and the beer actually tasted good.

Fijian resorts

Fiji is full of resorts and they are all pretty similar. The 5 star options offer high end service at high end prices and really don’t give you a sense that you are anywhere near Fiji (you could just as easily be anywhere (beachy) in the world. As for the lower star options, they are all pretty much interchangeable with a limited (westernised) menu and drink and food prices that rival anything that you would pay back home and more in many cases.

Every menu that we came across in our time here had the following options steak, fish and chips, burger, pizza, fish curry, chicken curry and vegetarian curry. And that is what you will have available at almost every resort, for every meal, for your whole time here. There will be a daily special (lunch will almost certainly be a club sandwich or chicken wrap) and the dinner special might be a chicken schnitzel with chips. Every now and then you will get a nod towards something local, like Kokoda (the Fijian version of Oka or Ceviche) but it will be overcooked (sit in lime too long) and made bland.

Don’t get me wrong, the food is nice enough. The options are just extremely limited and over an extended period (more than a few days) they get pretty boring.

Let’s get a few things straight on our accommodation. They were all absolute beachfront, with green grass, swimming pools, palm trees and idyllic locations. All the rooms were private, en-suited, clean and serviced regularly and they all offered similar services and tours. They were all quite remote (far from villages) so you had to get in a cab to see things. Across the board the food was poor and overpriced as was the beer and cocktails (only the level of overpriced changed).

So in the grand scheme of things, all of them were fine. There was nothing stopping you from having a good time at any of the resorts for a week or two. But that said, there was still stuff that put us off some of them.

Resort One

Our first resort was a cheap and cheerful 3-star number. It was fun and quirky with an open-air bathroom. The place was nice but was completely overrun with free-range dogs. This seemed to be a plus for many but was a bit annoying for us at meal times or when the dogs decided to scuffle with each other. But at $155 Aussie a night, I could not help but imagine all of the coastal towns back home where you would find similar digs with better food and cheaper drinks.

StarsNight
Price
(AUD)		Beer
Price
(Fiji)		Meal
Price
(Fiji)		WIFIMassage
(Fiji)
***15510-1428Patchy40/hr

The big winner here though was the $40 massage. Don’t get me wrong, Fijian massages are terrible if you have anything that needs attention. There is very little therapeutic about them, but if you are looking for a light, easy, relaxing way to kill an hour, then you cannot go wrong. I was there early in the day and the ladies were doing nothing so I ended up with a four hands massage for my $28 Aussie.

The biggest issue that we had here was the staff. They were friendly, but the place was their own private playground and you as a guest happened to be infesting. This meant that the music was at unbearable volumes almost all of the time and if they wanted to talk to each other, they just yelled to each other, across the entire resort. This wore very thin after a while.

Resort 2

Resort number two was a step up in stars, but inexplicably a step down in expenditure. For no apparent reason we went from 3 to 4 stars but saved ourselves $35 a night. The room was bigger and nicer, with indoor plumbing and was entirely lovely. The staff were just as friendly, but without the yelling, the dogs were there but were fewer and much better behaved.

StarsNight
Price
(AUD)		Beer
Price
(Fiji)		Meal
Price
(Fiji)		WIFIMassage
(Fiji)
****12012-1536$40 for
3 days		70/hr

The beach at resort two was a bit nicer than the first but had the benefit of some lovely blue starfish to be seen straight off the sand in front of your room.

No real snorkelling to speak of but that was the same for all three of the resorts.

In reality, resort two was probably our pick of the three but it was also plagued with the poor food and terrible internet options that all three had. But importantly, it did have a big screen TV that allowed me to wake up at 3am and sit with the security guard watching the world cup rugby Quarter final games between Fiji and England, closely followed by South Africa against France.

Resort 3

This was at the high end, positioned on one of the best beaches in Fiji and upon arrival it was clear that the extra money was for the beach. The room was smaller and less well appointed than Resort two and the prices across the board were higher, in fact all of the prices here were through the roof. But the beach was magnificent.

StarsNight
Price
(AUD)		Beer
Price
(Fiji)		Meal
Price
(Fiji)		WIFIMassage
(Fiji)
****$215$15-17$45Patchy
and slow		$140/hr

Jill and I have spent a lot of time talking about Fiji and its attractions and charms. Neither of us have anything adverse or bad to say about Fiji at all. The people are friendly, the location is stunning, and as beach holidays go this is a fine place to come. And sure once upon a time, when it was cheap, this would definitely be the place to come. But the days of a cheap Fiji holiday are mostly gone.

For the prices that you pay here today, you could get as good (if not better) options all the way up and down the Australian coastlines. The food would be better, the drinks prices would be cheaper and you would have saved yourself a plane fare.

Sigatoka is a small town wedged about halfway in between resorts two and three. As we had lain about enough, we decided to hop a bus into town and check out the local markets (being a Saturday and all). Sigatoka is now commonly dubbed as “Rugby Town” due to the local rugby team’s influence on the Fiji national rugby scene.

This is where we got to do some local shopping and mingling with the community rather than being trapped in a resort. I managed to grab myself a Fijian Rugby shirt and a Bula Shirt and we got some reasonably priced beer, wine and snacks. I even managed to grab a few roti wraps (with a chicken and potato curry filling and a tuna filling) for about a buck each.

Fijian Food

This will not really be a fair section to write as the food that we had was almost always resort food and it was bland, templated and made for western tastes (at least the perceived ones). I am certain that if we were able to have gotten out and about more then our food experience may have been vastly different.

The food options were a mix of Indian and Chinese with a bunch of local fruit and root vegetables thrown into the mix. Over time the Indian and Chinese foods had both been localised somewhat and did not really resemble their roots. But they were still ok. Particularly the Indian, ignore the lack of chilli, the flavours were good.

Kava is the traditional drink made from ground-up roots of the Piper methysticum. The root is traditionally crushed or ground in water and drunk as tea. Kava has been used in ceremonies and cultural events in the Pacific region.

And it tastes like mud.

Nadi

Nadi was a breath of fresh air after having spent so much time on the beaches and in the resorts. The beaches were lovely but the resort food was pretty bad and the prices were through the roof. We got a place near the airport (but still on the water) and immediately were happy. The beaches were nowhere near the standard of the resorts and neither was the water.

But the price for a stubbie of beer went from $17 to $5 and the food was better and a ton cheaper and even the cocktails were reasonably priced. In reality the best meals that we had in our fortnight in Fiji was here and not in the flash beachside resorts.

Overview

I rate Fiji as a lovely place to visit and we are glad that we came, but in hindsight neither of us think that we would return. There are many more beachy type destinations around that offer as much (if not more) than Fiji at a fraction of the cost.

I have already mentioned the stay at home (in Australia) options, but if you were determined to head overseas then the other options that I would include would be:

  • The Maldives,
    • Malaysian Islands,
  • Philippine Islands,
  • Sri Lankan beaches,
  • Samoa and
  • even some of the lesser Greek Islands.

All of these offer the same sort of relaxing beachy feel and will set you back about a half to a third of what you would pay here in Fiji (granted the Maldives does also have the super high-end options that would blow these prices out of the water). And importantly they will all offer good authentic food and drink options at far better prices.

The night in Nadi slightly changed our opinion and softened our view of Fiji, but the cost of the resorts is too exorbitant for it to be a go-to option.

Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka

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This was a break stop to avoid the killer long flight back to Australia, while we meandered back home.

For long-time readers, you may recall that back in 2013 we went to Guilin in China and met an amazing Sri Lankan couple (Ruwan and Dilani). While chatting they asked if we were planning to visit Sri Lanka (which we were not). So we rejigged our plans, visited Sri Lanka and loved it.

So this stopover was all about catching up with them and breaking an otherwise long flight to get back home.

But first, a quick note about our almost empty flight over to Sri Lanka from Dubai. We have never been on such an empty flight. Business and Premium economy were pretty full, but for us plebs at the back of the plane, we had entire rows to ourselves.

After arriving we were collected our bags and made it through customs and immigration in record time and then had to contest with the taxi drivers and touts. As we arrived late we stayed at an area called Negombo. This is a nice beach spot relatively close to the airport. We planned to stay with Ruwan on the trip but due to the late arrival the first night was here.

After ridiculous offers of cab fares to our accommodation (4500 rupees) we fought a patchy internet connection to order a car from the Pickme app which suggested that 2000 was more reasonable. After the Wi-Fi connection dropped in and out (losing our ride each time) we eventually got ourselves a tuk tuk. This meant we needed to walk (past the Buddha statue), out to the road where we got met by our man.

Negombo

From here a quick ride, with a lovely breeze, over to the seaside town just north of Colombo. Our accommodation was amazing, and less than half the price of what we had been paying in all of our travels through Europe and the Middle East.

The next morning we were up for a walk along the beach before Ruwan came to pick us up for our journey to begin properly. Our first adventure was on the hunt for mud crabs. Jill’s Uncle Terry had posted to try them on my Facebook and Ruwan had seen this so now we were on a mission. After a false start or two (through the local fish markets etc.), we found the local mud crab exporter and shipper at the local piggery (an obvious place to find it). The big thing about the mudcrabs was that in Australia the going rate sits at around $50-60 a kilo and in Sri Lanka it is more like $20.

Colombo

Well, Colombo has certainly grown up a lot since our last visit. When we arrived a decade ago, there were virtually no buildings over about 5 storeys high. During the past decade, China has funded the construction of massive infrastructure projects in Sri Lanka. There are numerous high-rises all around that were not here a decade ago. The most obvious of these is the Lotus Tower.

The lotus tower “Nelum Kuluna” is the tallest skyscraper in the country.

It stands 351.5m tall and cost US $113 million to build. The official blurb tells us that the lotus symbolises purity and represents the country’s flourishing development.

But the lotus is also the symbol of the political party that the President at the time (Mahinda Rajapaksa) hailed from.

Added to the above, the Chinese investment has been spent on building are some massive white elephants (notably the Mattala Rajapaksa International Airport and Port City). These developments have sent Sri Lanka into a debt crisis. The lunacy of these investments has been publicly described as (I love this one) “monuments to fiscal profligacy”.

Mattala Rajapaksa International Airport (MRIA) was assigned 2000 hectares of land with the funding to build it ($190 million) coming from the Chinese government in the form of high interest development loans.

Built during the presidency of Mahinda Rajapaksa the location of the airport just happened to coincide with where he lived. He also built the Hambantota International Port there (the port has been leased to China on a 99 year lease) and tried to get an international cricket stadium built there too.

The first stage of the airport was completed with projections to serve one million passengers and handle 45,000 metric tonnes of air cargo each year. It opened in 2013 however, due to low demand, all of the international airlines left by 2018. On average now 4 flights per month land in MRIA.

Port City was next in line. It is a 269-hectare ocean reclamation development funded by Chinese direct foreign investment however the project was seen by many to be merely a Chinese debt trap.

When completed, Port City Colombo will have over 5.6 million square meters of built space, boasting the best in design and standards. The development will comprise of 5 different precincts including a Financial District, Central Park Living, Island Living, Marina and the International Island. The loan agreement allowed two Chinese companies to jointly operate the terminal and take a 65% stake in the port for the next 35 years.

When the land was being reclaimed, plane loads of workers were flown in from China, they were housed and fed in on-site accommodation. The only real benefit that was derived for the local people was that the rock and gravel used for the fill were sourced from Sri Lanka.

In addition to the projects above the former President also sought Chinese investment in the financing and construction of ports, power plants, roads and mines. According to Wiki, Sri Lanka’s foreign debt increased US$11.3 billion in 2005 to $56.3 billion in 2020. Foreign debt in 2019 was about 42% of GDP but by 2021 it rose to 119% due to these loans. Sri Lanka has defaulted on these and is unable to make even interest payments on loans. In 2015 surrounded by screams of alleged cronyism and corruption, he lost a bid for a third term. 

The mismanagement of Sri Lanka has led to some terrible things being done to its people. We were told of the on the ground impacts that followed from defaulting on the international debts. No vehicle (or any other large imported item) has been brought into the country for the last 3 years, petrol was scarce for months at a time and the community has been saddled with high taxation to pay back the debts that were incurred. In the meantime, the projects that incurred the debts were folly and sit as white elephants.

Anyway, the sad realities dealt with, let’s talk about travelling and exploring this amazing country.

Ruwan had been monitoring our travels up until now and had been observing the sorts of things that we had been doing and seeing. Being the cracking fella that he is, he tried to organise things that were totally different for us to do, while we were in Sri Lanka. The first thing on the agenda was a 5am wakeup so that we could get on the road and head to the Elephant Transit Centre.

The Elephant Transit Centre is a wildlife protection facility in the Udawalawe National Park. On our first trip, we had visited the Pinnawala Elephant Orphanage which took care of orphaned elephants. This one was similar but the focus here was about getting them back into the wild. Because of this, there was much less human interaction and, for the most part, all of the elephants were babies.

We missed the morning session and had a few hours to kill so we hung with Ruwan’s handyman (whose sister worked at the centre). We went to his home, walked through the countryside and got to see a taste of real Sri Lankan life. This included the sheer joy that he could share this experience with a couple of foreigners. The hospitality was overwhelming, including the fact that they fed us. The meal was something a little out of left field as we sat by the riverbank and ate an incredibly hot (spicy) porcupine curry.

Yep, you read that right. Porcupine, yet another animal to add to the weird animals that we have eaten list.

The thing that Ruwan has done since we first met was to turn himself into a superstar photographer. Being stuck at home through COVID has prompted him to amuse himself so he has bought a flash camera and a monster lens and has been taking some absolutely amazing wildlife shots. As you can see from his photos below, he has some serious skill and my little phone camera really doesn’t cut it.

I put him in a headlock (metaphorically) and got some photography lessons from him, so my photos may improve. Anyway, the next thing on the list of things that he had organised for us was a safari at the Yala National Park. Moving on from the elephant centre we kept going to our accommodation for the night, Ruwan had us booked into a safari lodge. This involved a really dodgy night roughing it in a tent in the middle of the jungle. I posted the photos on Facebook and everyone questioned my description suggesting that it was more “Glamping” than roughing it. Anyway you can make up your own mind on just how tough we did it.

As you can see from the photos above it was a hardship roughing it in the jungle at a safari lodge (Mahoora).

Yala National Park

The next morning it was up at 5 am where we met our Safari Jeep and headed out for the first entry into the Yala National Park.

Yala was designated a wildlife sanctuary in 1900 and became a national park in 1938.

Ironically, the park was initially used as a hunting ground for the elite under British rule.

Yala is made up of 130,000 hectares of land which combines a strict nature reserve with a national park. It is divided into 5 blocks (2 of which are accessible to the public) consisting of light forests, scrubs, grasslands, tanks and lagoons. It is home to 44 varieties of mammal and 215 bird species.

Among its more famous residents are the world’s biggest concentration of leopards, elephants, sloth bears, sambars, jackals, spotted deer, peacocks, and crocodiles.  Pretty much all of which we got to see (with the exception of the sloth bears).

Of particular interest was an up close and personal experience with a bull elephant. While perched high in our jeep the elephant came out of the jungle and took exception to our presence. So it walked over to the jeep and head butted the car trying to push it over, while we were sitting in the back of it.

While zipping along we got word of a leopard, and turned and chased it. We got lucky and caught the last minute before it disappeared back into the jungle. In case you were wondering…it was a boy leopard.

Tourist Prices

This was a bugbear for me last time we were here in Sri Lanka and it remains one today. Almost everywhere you go in the world, there are two pricing scales, one for the locals and one for the tourists. This we are used to and have come to expect and in some cases even embraced. But Sri Lanka takes this concept too far.

They did last time and continue to do so to this day. Originally the open gouging of tourists was confined to the tourist sights run by the government but now this has grown to be common practice throughout the tourism industry in Sri Lanka.

I guess that this was a little more evident this time around as we were travelling with locals everywhere we went. On our original visit I was complaining that our Sigiriya trip would cost a local 40 rupees to get in but would cost us 3900 and Polonnaruwa was 50 for a local and 3250 for the foreigner.  

So our accommodation cost was organised by Ruwan (he got it for 7,000 but the cheapest we could do online was 12,000) this translates to the difference between $35 and $60 for the night’s accommodation. We had the BBQ dinner at the safari lodge and the cost for Ruwan and Dilani was 700 rupees ($3.50) while the price for us was $US22 (7,100 rupees). We sat at the same table and ate the same food. Below is a list of some of these differences that you may be subjected to.

ItemLocal
Price		Foreigner
Price
Sigiriya 1009,700
Polonnaruwa free8,100
Lotus Tower5006,500
Yala National Park97014,000
Udawalawe National Park1509500
Elephant Transit Centre1151900

Sri Lankan Food

Sri Lankan food is amazing and made even better because Dilani was a spectacularly good cook. The range and variety of local foods was fantastic (albeit that she toned the spiciness level down for Jill). Mudcrabs, prawns, dahl, veggies, curries, string hoppers, accompaniments. Really how could anybody ever complain at feasting on a wide variety of yummy food every night.

The last stop that we made was at a local stall on the side of the road where we got fresh curds with treacle (or local honey in our case). Eaten in a clay pot with a banana leaf shard as our spoon.

Once again we have visited and loved Sri Lanka. We are already talking about when we can come back. Add to that the proximity to the Maldives, this may become a regular holiday run.

Serbia

Serbia

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Serbia is a landlocked country in the Balkans. It shares land borders with Hungary (north), Romania (northeast), Bulgaria (southeast), North Macedonia (south), Croatia and Bosnia and Herzegovina (west), and Montenegro (southwest), and Kosovo.

Serbia has about 6.6 million people.

Having loved our (240 km and 8 hour) bus ride into Bosnia and Herzegovina we decided to fly out for a 40 minute puddle jump into Serbia, more specifically Belgrade.

Belgrade

Belgrade is the capital and largest city of Serbia. It is located at the junction of the Sava and Danube rivers with a population of around 1.6 million. Belgrade is one of the oldest continually inhabited cities in the world with the first dated records of habitation going back to the the 3rd century BC.

Our accommodation saw us perched between the old and new town directly opposite the old main railway station and associated park.

The park is amazing with an incredibly impressive monument to Stefan Nemanja (over 20m high).

He was a medieval Serbian nobleman who together with his son Sava (who the big church is named after) are considered the fathers of the Serbian Orthodox Church).

As it was early enough we dropped off our gear and headed out on a walk to see the sights. We chose to hit the ones that were away from old town, where we would be spending most of our time the following day. So we turned the corner from our hotel and started our way up the hill aiming towards St Sava Temple.

But within two blocks we had already landed upon the railway museum, which was incredibly impressive in its own right.

Half a block up and across the street we came upon the Government of the Republic of Serbia building.

This was built in the 1920s and was the first public building built in Belgrade for the purposes of the public administration of the newly formed Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes.

Next came the Department of Defence, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, the Belgrade city museum, public health department. And they were all housed in amazing soviet era architecturally designed buildings that were incredibly impressive.

Anyway, we did eventually make it to St Sava Temple which again, blew our socks off. The church is dedicated to Saint Sava (son of the dude with the big statue opposite our hotel), the founder of the Serbian Orthodox Church and an important figure in medieval Serbia. It was built on the location of St. Sava’s grave.

The next morning we were up and off to the 160 acre Belgrade Fortress. For many centuries the entire town existed within the walls of the fortress. It sits at the meeting of the Sava and Danube rivers.

As with all of Europe, the warring tribes saw this piece of land change hands many times over the millennia. The romans had their turn and according to wiki “in the period between 378 AD and 441 the Roman camp was repeatedly destroyed in the invasions by the Goths and the Huns. Legend says that Attila’s grave lies at the confluence of the Sava and the Danube (under the fortress)”. In the following centuries the fortress suffered continuous destruction under the Avar sieges. 

The name Belgrade was first mentioned in AD 878 by Bulgarians. The fortress kept changing its master as Bulgaria had it then the Byzantines and then Bulgaria again, in the 11th century it was given to the new Serbian state as a wedding gift. In the 15th century it was conquered by the Turks (with short periods of Austrian and Serbian occupation), but it remained under Ottoman Empire rule until 1867, when the Turks withdrew from Belgrade and Serbia. 

From the fortress you got a fair view of the Gardoš Tower or Millennium Tower.

It was built and opened in 1896 to celebrate a thousand years of Hungarian settlement in the region.

Within the walls is St Petka’s Chapel which was built in 1417 and was allegedly erected over a sacred spring. At one time it held the holy relics of St Petka. With all of the destruction of the fortress over the years, the exact location of this chapel is not known so a replacement was built on the grounds in the 1930s.

The amazing thing for us was that to visit and walk through the fortress and associated grounds was 100% free.

There was one odd children’s playground area with dinosaurs in it that had a small fee.

But as we did not want to play on the playground, we avoided that cost.

From the fortress, you spill out into the remainder of old town and the main tourist and shopping district of Belgrade. This part of town is full of funky old buildings with tons of character.

As you wander through you come upon the Cathedral Church of St. Michael the Archangel or simply St Michael’s Cathedral. This is a Serbian Orthodox church in the centre of the old part of Belgrade. It was built around 1840, on the site of an older church dedicated to Archangel Michael.

The Historical Museum of Serbia is currently in this building but it has been granted the building opposite our hotel (the old main railway station) as its permanent home and will be moving soon.

The Stari Dvor or old palace was the royal residence of the Obrenović dynasty (1800’s).

Today it houses the City Assembly of Belgrade. 

Novi Dvor or new palace was was a royal residence of the Karađorđević dynasty (late 1700 & 1800’s)

Today it is the seat of the President of Serbia. 

House of the National Assembly was built in 1936 and has served as the seat of parliament for the Parliaments of Yugoslavia, Serbia and Montenegro and since 2006, Serbia.

For the most part, Serbia has been great. The food is good (if not exactly heart smart), the prices are reasonable, the beer is well-priced, and there is plenty to see and do (mostly without charge). I would certainly not hesitate in coming back.

The Golubac Fortress is somewhere that looked amazing but sadly (at about 120km from Belgrade) we could not get to. It was a medieval (fortified) town on the Danube 4 km downstream from the current town of Golubac. The fortress was built during the 14th century and has ten towers. Most of these started square but evolved to get many-sided reinforcements to accommodate modern firearms.

Luxembourg

Luxembourg

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Luxembourg, officially the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, is a tiny landlocked country of around 2500 square km and a population of under 650,000.

This makes it both one of the smallest and least populated countries in Europe.

It borders Belgium (west and north), Germany (east) and France (south).

Luxembourg’s recorded history dates back to Roman times but the modern day version is considered to begin in 963. The House of Luxembourg was a royal family that ruled in and around the region for centuries.

There is evidence of primitive inhabitants dating back to the Paleolithic or Old Stone Age over 35,000 years ago. The first real evidence of civilisation is from the Neolithic or 5th millennium BC, from which evidence of houses has been found. 

Originally, the City of Luxembourg was originally built in the mid 10th century as a small fort (the castle). It was built on a steep rocky outcrop at the junction of the Alzette and Pétrusse Rivers. Due to it’s strategic position it has been occupied and controlled by the Italian, Spanish, Belgian, French, Austrian, Dutch and Prussian. With each iteration and rule various engineers contributed to the fortifications stronghold. The fortress was so strong that at one point it earned the title of “Gibraltar of the North.” 

Luxembourg was one of Europe’s greatest fortified sites between the 16th century until 1867, when its walls were dismantled. The fortifications and the old town have been classified as world heritage sites by UNESCO since 1994. 

The Grand Duchy of Luxembourg became a founding member of the United Nations in 1945 and in 1949 it also became a founding member of NATO.

This is a catch up as I published this one out of order, we were actually in Luxembourg, before Switzerland but I got the two L’s (Luxembourg and Lichtenstein) mixed up in my head and only just realised (3 countries later) that I had missed this one.

Luxembourg City is modern and the capital of Luxembourg it has done an excellent job of blending history and modern progress. The modern city is a highly efficient and functioning centre of commerce (particularly banking) while the Old Town area has kept the history and beauty of the city alive.

The first thing to know about Luxembourg is that all public transportation is free.  

From our hotel (in the red light district near the train Station) we did the tourist walk towards the Old City to check out what Luxembourg had to offer.

The first thing that we aimed for was the Pont Adolphe Bridge. Originally built between 1900 and 1903 during the rule of Grand Duke Adolphe, the bridge had the biggest stone arch in the world at the time. The big double arch spans more than 85 metres across the Pétrusse valley at a height of 42 metres, and a total length of 153 metres.

Crossing the bridge you come to the Monument of Remembrance, officially known as Gëlle Fra. It is a war memorial dedicated to fallen Luxembourg soldiers. 

At the top of the obelisk is a golden statue of the Greek goddess of victory, Nike. She is holding a wreath and looking down on a fallen soldier laying at the base of the pillar.

Constitution Square, or Place De La Constitution is next.

This is a lovely garden built on the site of a former bastion or fortress wall.

At the center of the square the Luxembourg flag waves, towering over the green space.

Across the road is the Notre Dame Cathedral. It took more than 300 years to construct and is free to enter. Looking nothing like the more famous Cathedral with the same name, this one has three towers, stained glass windows, intricately carved pillars, and a vaulted nave.

Place Guillaume and Place d’Armes are the two main squares in Luxembourg City.

Place Guillaume is home to the Luxembourg City Hall. A statue of the former Grand Duke William II riding a horse dominates the eastern half of the square. 

Place Guillaume and Place d’Armes are the two main squares in Luxembourg City. Place Guillaume is home to the Luxembourg City Hall. A statue of the former Grand Duke William II riding a horse dominates the eastern half of the square. 

Place d’Armes is in the heart of the pedestrian zone of Luxembourg City. It is lined with cafes, restaurants, and shops. During the holidays, the square hosts a Christmas market and every other Saturday there is a flea market in this central square. 

Grand Ducal Palace was originally Luxembourg City’s first town hall that was built in 1418.

It is the official residence of the grand ducal family.

During the summer months, the Luxembourg City Tourist Office runs exclusive guided tours of the Palace. These 75-minute tours are booked out months in advance. They allow visitors to take a look behind the scenes, including the Grand Duke’s office, the dining room and the “Salon des Rois”.

The money raised from ticket sales is used to support a foundation that supports humanitarian and solidarity initiatives to assist vulnerable people and those in distress, both in the Grand Duchy and in developing countries.

Luxembourg is lovely, there is plenty to see and do but in real terms, you can do the lap within half a day, perhaps a little longer if you do the palace tour. I feel this may be the case for many of the smaller European countries. The train in and out is a breeze, and the free transportation around town makes this place a dream for a quick pop-in and look around.

Luxembourg food

Luxembourg is a very international country, as over the years people have moved here from all areas of the world. Their food is a mix of French, German, and Belgian cuisines, but other countries also feature strongly in restaurants across the country.

This actually blew us away, Luxembourg has delivered the best food that we have eaten all trip. Strangely enough we did not eat traditional but rather we had Syrian and Italian and both were exceptional. We did not eat in flash hotels or restaurants, we picked the local small joints (as we usually do) and were totally blown away with the quality, taste and service that was on offer.

Traditional Luxembourgish cuisine however is deeply rooted in local farming and seasonal produce that include meats, sausages, cheeses, potatoes, cabbage, and beans. Wine, honey, and mustard are also traditionally made throughout the country.

The traditional stuff is a bit more basic and includes things like:

  • Bouneschlupp and Gromperenzopp (Green Bean and Potato Soup),
  • Gromperekichelcher (Potato Pancakes),
  • Bouchée à la Reine (vol-au-vent),
  • Letzeburger Kniddlelen (Luxembourg Dumplings),
  • Wäinzoossiss mat Moschterzooss (Sausage with Mustard and Wine Sauce)

Given that the local stuff was a bit stodgy, I had not planned to do a food section here. But the stuff we ate and the service that they gave was phenomenal. Having come out of North America where you are expected to pay a minimum of 18% extra for service as a tip, not one lot of service (that we paid for) came close to what we got here in Luxembourg as part of the experience.

There is real pride taken in both the service and the products that are brought to your table. In fact, even at our dodgy neighbourhood Italian joint, we were served with a porcini mushroom mousse as a free appetiser while we considered the menu. If there are any foodies reading along, put Luxembourg on your list.

Cruising

Iceland Cruise

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6 June to 17 June 2023 – Jewel of the Seas

Amsterdam– Reykjavík– Isafjordur – Seydisfjordur – Belfast – Liverpool – Cobh/Cork – Amsterdam

This has been a really tough one for me to summarise. Life during and after Covid has been very tough for the cruise ship industry. The experience today is very unlike the cruises that we had done before the pandemic. And in many respects, the changes are not for the better.

Jill and I both agreed that this was the worst cruise that we had ever been on. It wasn’t terrible, but it was nowhere near the standard of the other cruises that we had done. So we tried to break down what it was that made it so.

Was it the ship?

No.

While the ship was older and smaller it was more charming and intimate than the bigger ships and had more style and character to it.

It was a bit of a visual throwback to the halcyon days of cruising. Certain elements were tired, but a small revamp will fix that once the revenues return.

Was it the staff?

No.

The staff were super friendly (as usual) and more than willing to assist at every turn.

Was it the ports?

No.

The ports were fantastic and could not be faulted.

Was it the food?

A bit.

The food was a bit down on its usual standard and the choices were lacking at times, but there was still something on every menu for everyone.

So what was it then?

The entertainers were obviously the B team, with the real headliners and acts on the newer ships. There was a massive focus on karaoke on this cruise which was very uncomfortable and disturbing for the rest of the guests. A bunch of people (guests) with American Idol aspirations but no talent warping away (at volume) with nowhere for us mere mortals to hide or escape them.

The pianist in the main bar was a thumper, who could not sing, didn’t know the words and fluffed his way through most of the songs. Another of the entertainers played so loud that there was nowhere to escape.

We had one night at one of the specialty restaurants (Izumi) where we paid an extra $US40 a head to eat there and the experience was terrible. While the food was OK, it was not worth the additional expenditure. The service was slow and poor, the ambiance was loud and akin to a cafeteria and at the end of the meal we found that there was an enforced 18% gratuity tacked on top of the bill.

The theme nights were terrible (in a food sense) with only a single option (in the main dining room) that represented that theme. The rest of the menu items were an eclectic spray across the board. On a European cruise, there was no focus on European things or foods. Although there was a fish and chip night when we were in England.

Instead there were Indian and Mexican nights. In fact, Indian was a constant staple for every single meal (despite the fact that there would have been less that 20 Indian guests on the whole boat – admittedly the chef was Indian). But the desserts were excellent, every day and for every meal. Those options were perfect.

On a similar theme, many of the announcements were delivered in both English and Spanish (less than 20 Spanish speakers on the boat). The German and Dutch tourists (it did leave from Amsterdam) were constantly asking what was going on. This may be fine for the Caribbean cruises but in Europe it didn’t work here.

It is clear that in a post Covid world significant cost cutting measures have been put in to strip away some of the outgoings while the industry rebuilds. But this has happened to the detriment of the cruise experience and threatens to derail the industry if this is not realised and adjusted, before it is too late.

The cost-cutting started with the dropping off of the higher-end spirits. As an example, I used to be able to order a Macallan single malt whiskey on the drinks package but it was pulled, so I switched down to the Glenlivet, which has also been pulled leaving only a Glenfiddich. As the cruise progressed, Jill started on the Kim Crawford’s Sauvignon Blanc which was also being phased out to lesser wines.

On arrival our names were wrong on the door of our room and we were told by our room attendants that the room cleaning would be reduced from twice to once daily. In reality nobody really needs their room serviced twice daily. He mentioned that before they looked after 17 rooms each, but that this number had gone up to almost 30.

At our status level (when we got on) we should have received a range of perks (robes, welcome basket, free water etc), none of which were present and when we raised it they were still not supplied. During the cruise we hit the next level of the loyalty program (so next time there are supposed to be even more perks). Nothing major was wrong, things were just a little bit off across the board.

We still enjoyed our cruise and it was certainly the best and most cost effective way to see Iceland (given that it is so expensive). The stops in Ireland and the UK were all nice and the experience was OK.

We are quite pragmatic as travellers and understand that some cost cutting had to occur. But by the same token, minimum standards and levels of service still need to be delivered for it to be a fun holiday and for people to want to come back and go on another cruise. If the cruise lines continue to strip back the inclusions on these ships, the market will respond unfavourably.

Germany

Hamburg

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Hamburg is the second largest city in Germany (behind Berlin) and has Europe’s third largest port. It has a population of about 2.5 million, but you would never guess it as it is such a pretty, green city.  The city is on the River Elbe and also contains two tributaries the Alster and the Bille. The city has endured many catastrophes but has managed to recover and emerge wealthier after each.

But for me it has a different interest, this is where my father was born and where my extended family (cousins etc) have mostly remained in place. Hamburg for us is a family visit, Jill has been twice now and this is around my 6th trip here. My family take great pleasure in telling me that I first came here when I was 6 months old (in blue).

Having hopped off the train from Amsterdam (after getting off the cruise ship to Iceland) we were met by my cousin Jan and his son Elias. I then got to have my first experience in riding in a Tesla.

We were ferried to my other cousin Martina (and her husband Volker) where their daughter Rose and my other cousin Uwe and his friend Eva were all waiting.

An absolutely amazing meal (Matjes Hausfrauenart – herring housewife style), drinks and catch-ups took place with photographs of both sides of the family bouncing around constantly.

After the festivities we drove back to a little hotel that Jill and I would be staying at for the week. This was organised and paid for in advance by the family members, which was beyond generous. The hotel was a pretty little place, with a nice beer garden out back and a cute little breakfast buffet each morning.

The next day we were off to the small hamlet of Bokel (under 650 people) to hang with Uwe and Eva, and eat (possibly) the biggest wiener schnitzel ever made. Uwe has taken, in his retirement, to repairing and restoring old land cruisers and troopies. So his yard was more of a car park than a garden, but the workshop was magnificent. A place for everything and everything in its place – German efficiency at its finest.

The next day we were treated to a private tour of the confectionary factory that my cousin Jan runs. They make a range of soft and hard candies in volumes that just blew my mind.

We dressed up in all the food safety gear and walked the lines while 50 employees churned out tonnes (literally) of sweets off the production line each day.

The place cranks out 90 tonnes of sweets each week. And Jan was the boss, he ran it all and it was seriously impressive.

Finishing early, a last minute decision was made to go and visit Denmark as it was a country that we hadn’t seen. So we hopped in the Tesla and did a 600km round trip into Denmark, checking out two different cities before returning home.

I have decided that I like Teslas.

I had not really considered electric cars before because Australia is not yet set up for them. But Europe is and these are brilliant (and we only drove in the little Tesla 3. When the time comes, and the Australian infrastructure is in place I think that this will seriously be a worthwhile purchase.

Now is the perfect time to comment on German roads and road etiquette. On the major roads in Germany (the Autobahns), for much of it, there is no speed limit but rather a speed minimum. You must not drive slower than the minimum and trucks are banned in the fast lane (at all times). This only works because people are considerate, check their mirrors, know how to merge and stay in the slower lanes unless overtaking. So people do not sit in the faster lanes doing low speeds refusing to move over (I’m looking at you, Brisbane). In our short stay here we were able to fly along at 225 kph which made our 600km round trip to Denmark much faster and not too exhausting.

This is such a change from driving in Brisbane where (some) people believe that the lane is their birth right and will not share with any other road users.

The other important note was that when a problem was encountered, all drivers pulled over and drove at either edge of the lane, leaving a clear path for any emergency vehicles that may need to get there.

And everybody did this. It was smooth and efficient and a pleasure to be on the roads.

Having returned from Denmark we all met at Martina’s place and had a train ride to town for a Hamburg sightseeing day. Being good Germans, one of the first stops that we had to make was at the stall that sold curry wurst. Another very good time to comment, Germany does some of the most amazing sausages on the planet, and their mustards are to die for.

We rolled through town, looking at the sights, taking happy snaps and admiring the architecture, waterways and just generally enjoying the feel of the city. Continue walking west and we came across the equally striking Speicherstadtrathaus, the district’s town hall. I found it amusing that the name was rat haus given the efficiency of some local governments. But the building itself was stunning.

We saw the Speicherstadt district was the old port area that is full of neo-Gothic warehouses (being turned into trendy housing, restaurants and businesses).

The group met up with Volker, we had coffee and continued to wander down and around the dockside.

We found ourselves at the Elbphilharmonie Plaza, or Elphi, which is the Hamburg equivalent of the Sydney Opera House. It is a modern concert hall with some of the best acoustics on the planet and is located on the Elbe River. The building has a new glassy construction that resembles (google says) a hoisted sail, water wave, iceberg or quartz crystal. And this has been dumped on top of an old brick warehouse. and of course, from up on top of the building, you are able to get both amazing panoramic views of the city and vertigo.

The Reeperbahn (or Ropewalk) is a street within the entertainment district of St. Pauli. But is predominantly known as the city’s major red-light district. In German, it is also nicknamed die sündigste Meile (the most sinful mile). The street is lined with restaurants, clubs, discos, bars. strip clubs, sex shops and brothels. It is blocked off at either end to keep things out of the view of others. We did not go here this time, but I had been way back in 1996 on my first ever trip to Germany.

St Pauli is a quarter of Hamburg on the right bank of the Elbe river. In the 1600’s Hamburg was a walled city and St Pauli lay outside the walls and became the home of businesses that were not wanted inside the city due to the smell or noise. At the end of the century workhouses (community housing for the poor) was also moved out there. St. Pauli was mainly used by sailors for entertainment during their stay. St Pauli hosts both the upper and lower standards of entertainment, from musicals, theaters, to bars and clubs, as well as the most known red light district.

FC St. Pauli Rugby was founded in Hamburg in 1933 and has been the largest rugby club in Germany for a long time. It is the most successful club in Hamburg and the whole of northern Germany and most importantly, it is where my father played about 75 years ago as a teenager. As a younger man I had the opportunity to come and have a game with them (nostalgia and all). They are distinctive in their brown and white harlequins jersey and the skull and crossbones motif.

Hamburg Fish Market is something that we did not hit this time, but have done previously. It typically sets up just in time to serve breakfast to all of the drunks that spill out of the Reeperbahn after an all-nighter (that was me in 1996). In addition to the drunks are the the early risers that are out for a leisurely Sunday stroll. According to the tourist blurb, little has changed in almost 300 years, except the market now has long communal tables for people-watching with pastries and coffee in addition to its seafood stalls.

As we wandered along the river we reached a domed building that we learned was the Alter Elbtunnel. This is two 6 m diameter tubes that run 24 m beneath the surface, and connect central Hamburg with the docks. Built in 1911 it is a 426m long, pedestrian and vehicle tunnel with elevators taking each vehicle down one at a time. Obviously everyone is too busy now to wait for the lift to go down before they drive across and now everyone uses a bridge. More efficient, yes, but nowhere near as cool.

St Michael’s Church is one of the most famous churches and landmark with its 132 m clock tower that can be seen widely. It is meant to be one of the finest boroque churches of its era.

Having done the tourist thing we headed out to dinner, but not before going to the house where my father had grown up so many years earlier. When he was here it was an outlying suburb but is now a trendy neighbourhood full of bars and cafes and old world charm. And as with most of Hamburg, beautiful tree lined streets.

As a summary, I have found that German sausage, mustard and bread to be absolutely top quality and better than anything else I have had anywhere else. The odd version, here and there, is comparable but across the board, the Germans do these spectacularly well.

But before we left we had a family dinner for all. The wheels fell off early on in the evening when the appetiser ordered was potato schnapps topped with either met-wurst or a potato rosti and Lingonberries. From here came the usual fare of German delicacies that covered a broad variety of the usual suspects. There was fish, herring (matjes), schnitzel, rare beef fleisch, and much more.

And as a last, Germany does some ok beers too.