America

New York

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I cannot state clearly enough how much I did not want to come to New York. This has never been something that I wanted to see or go to, but figured as part of this global exploration that I would have to go some day.

Well this was my day (two as it happened) an we only came because it was part of the ship’s itinerary.

I don’t know whether it is possible to be racist against an entire city, but if it is, then I am. I have never been here before and my only knowledge of New York has come from the television and movies. And from these depictions alone I have developed a deep hatred of the city, its people and all it stands for (at least by portrayal). The ‘we are the best’ attitude (in my opinion) is arrogant, misplaced and unwarranted and this rubs me up the wrong way and has done for decades now.

But I have friends who have been and loved the place and speak highly of it. So here we are, in New York City with me trying to take it how I see it and remove the preconceived chip off my shoulder.

Before even arriving we had a win. The original plan was to arrive and land in New Jersey cruise ship port, this would have left us 35 kilometers from NYC and would necessitate a (minimum) 45 minute commute each way. Instead we came right up the Hudson River and ported at Pier 88, a mere 15 minute walk (through Hells Kitchen) to Times Square and the heart of the city.

Arriving by water our entry saw us floating past the Statue of Liberty (at 4:30 in the morning) and Ellis Island (the original US immigration entry point and now museum).

Despite my innate hatred of the place, I must admit to having a level of excitement at the thought of coming in this way and seeing the ‘Chick with a Stick’.

On July 4, 1884 France presented the United States with the Statue of Liberty. It stands 15-storeys tall (without its pedestal). It was shipped across the Atlantic Ocean in crates, and rebuilt in the U.S. as France’s gift to the American people. A couple of days later, on our exit from New York, we would again pass the Statue of Liberty. But this time it would be 4pm and would allow for much better photographs than our grainy nighttime efforts.

Our captain had checked with the port authorities and discovered that the river (Hudson) would be relatively quiet, so he asked for and was granted permission to do some 360’s in front of the statue. On arrival we stopped, put the thrusters on and the ship slowly rotated 3-4 times allowing everyone ample opportunity to get as many photos as they wanted.

Well almost everyone. I had hoped to get a selfie with the statue in the background. As Jill’s phone camera has a better zoom function she went first while I held the table and our seats in the lounge. And for the next 45 minutes I kept holding the table until the ship straightened up and sailed out of the Hudson River, and then Jill returned. I raced out to try and get my selfie but by this stage you could not even tell there was an island there, let alone a statue.

The night time entry and afternoon departure also allowed for some pretty nice photos of the city as we came in and out.

Our ship ported at Pier 88 which was as central a location as we could have hoped for. Our tourist run started with the walk to Times Square. This is one of those things that is highly publicised as a must see, but in reality is just a tourist hellhole. The square itself is much smaller than you imagined and the official writeups have been forced to include most of the surrounding business district (including the theatre district) making it (according to wiki) a bowtie-shaped plaza five blocks long between 42nd and 47th Streets.

It is lit up 24 hours a day and according to the tourist blurb the brash advertisements add to the ambience. It is the site of the annual New Year’s Eve ball drop (which began in 1907) but from my perspective it was an incredibly overrated and underwhelming mess of lights, electronic billboards, touts and rip off merchants.

Our arrival in Times Square was done mainly as it was the launching point for the HOHO bus that we had organised. New York City is large, there is much to see, and our time was limited, so the HOHO was our choice for getting around. It was not cheap, but logistically it was the best option. There are at least 3 and up to 5 companies offering almost identical HOHO experiences, we chose the Big Bus.

It operates 2 routes, the Downtown (red loop) takes in M&M’s World, Bryant Park, Empire State Building / KoreaTown, Flatiron District, Soho, Chinatown / Little Italy, Brooklyn Bridge, Wall Street / Charging Bull, Statue of Liberty / Battery Park, World Trade Center, Chelsea / Pier 57, Hudson Yards, and the Circle Line Sightseeing (the ferry to the statue of liberty).

Bryant Park is Midtown Manhattan’s town square, with seasonal gardens, eateries, bars. Apart from being insanely busy at all times it looked really nice.

The Empire State Building is the next stop and has consistently been rated as number one on the list of Top Attractions in the World.

There is an observatory deck on levels 86 ($44) and 102 ($79) both of which attract an additional $5 booking fee.

The Flatiron District is named after the famous triangular Flatiron building.

This was (of course) covered in scaffolding when we came past.

Soho was next which is the obscenely expensive shopping district (we stayed on the bus).

Chinatown and little Italy were next and this was our lunch stop (on the second loop around). Grotty streets full of African immigrants selling stolen and knock off gear from sheets on the ground (very reminiscent of Europe).

Brooklyn Bridge was next, closely followed by the financial district and the famous Wall Street Bull (great photos to be had here).

Statue of Liberty / Battery Park we skipped and hopped off at the World Trade Center and the 911 memorial. Being a Tuesday the museum was closed but the area is nice and was well worth the visit. The memorial has been done in a simple and understated manner and was very good.

The last stops were the Chelsea / Pier 57, Hudson Yards (old rail yards and residential development), and the Circle Line Sightseeing (ferry to the Statue of Liberty). We skipped these but did take note of the extensive pier redevelopment that was taking place along the Hudson River. The river was dotted with Piers (we were parked in Pier 88) many of which were long past their use by date. Being a big city with limited green space, the authorities have been redeveloping old piers to add recreational areas to the city.

The Uptown (blue loop) crosses path with the red loop at Bryant Park and takes in Hope Sculpture, Midtown East, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Central Park Zoo, Columbus Circle and Carnegie Hall (covered in scaffolding). Our main purpose of the uptown loop was that we had booked tickets to the American Museum of Natural History.

Central Park is an 840 acre park in the middle of Manhattan that extends about 4km long (between 59th and 110th streets) and 800 meters wide (between Fifth and Eighth avenues).

It is divided for convenience into four “quadrants” (from south to north). The southern end is dominated by the zoo, the second section is named the great lawn, for pretty obvious reasons. The third section is around mid way with the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Natural History Museum on each side of the park then the Reservoir (a 106 acre pond).

According to wiki the park was fully landscaped when built in the 1850s and 1860s. It has eight lakes and ponds that were created artificially by damming natural seeps and flows. There are several wooded sections, lawns, meadows, and minor grassy areas. There are 21 children’s playgrounds and almost 10 km) of drives. It is also one of the most filmed locations in the world.

Day one over, we got changed and headed back out for night one. It has been written up everywhere that you cant go to New York without seeing a show on Broadway. This to me was one of those arrogant things where they think that everything here is the best. But we were here overnight, so why not. On recommendation from my mate Jimmy we bought tickets to the Book of Mormon.

It is a musical comedy from the creators of South Park. The story follows two Mormon missionaries as they attempt to preach to the inhabitants of a remote village in Uganda.

Needless to say the locals are more interested in dealing with HIV/AIDS, famine, female genital mutilation, child molestation, and oppression by the local warlord.

The show itself was hilarious, poking fun at (almost all) organised religion in a highly inappropriate manner. There were times when I has tears running down my cheeks from laughter. The experience on Broadway itself was not as pleasant. Our night started with being inundated with passive cannabis smoke, smelling uncollected rubbish and urine, while watching two homeless men fighting (full on punches and stick style weapons) 10 meters from the theatre door. Thankfully there was no guns but all of this unfolded directly in front of us.

Right next door to our pier (88) at Pier 86 is the Intrepid Museum, this is a WWII aircraft carrier (the Intrepid) that is stacked with a bunch of military stuff, right in the heart of the city. The Intrepid was launched in 1943 and survived five kamikaze attacks, and one torpedo strike during WWII. The ship later served in the Cold War, the Vietnam War and as a NASA recovery vessel.

The flight deck of the carrier has dozens of military aircraft including fighter jets, a supersonic spy plane, the Concorde and many helicopters, while its halls host much more. Some of the things you can see are the Enterprise (first space shuttle), Growler (the only nuclear-weapons-carrying submarine open to the public). For my mate Mike who is a plane and military nut I have included the link to the full aircraft guide of what is there and the various specifications of each of the planes ( https://live-intrepid-museum.pantheonsite.io/media/aircraft-guide.pdf ). Being right next door, and a taller ship, we got a fantastic view of the aircraft on deck and many people made the trek inside.

The next morning it was up and on the road again. There were a few domestic things that we needed to sort and then it was off exploring again. Thankfully the HOHO bus saved our legs (we had done over 20,000 steps the day before even with the bus).

Given the tight timeline of the day before we hopped back on the red loop (Downtown) for another run (there was just too much to see on a single day). We were not up and out quite as early as the day before so we got hit with considerably worse traffic. But we did get to do all of the New York City iconic sights.

A bit like the pier redevelopment, New York is now home to the High Line. The High Line operated between 1934 and 1980 as a freight railway where it carried meat to the Meatpacking District, agricultural goods to the factories and warehouses and mail to the Post Office. After falling into disrepair it was salvaged by residents and in 2009 sections of the elevated freight rail line above the streets of Manhattan were taken over and turned into a public park.

It was saved from demolition by neighborhood residents and the City of New York. It now serves as a hybrid public space where visitors can experience nature, art, and design.

Our trip out of town was as described earlier, with the 360 degree turns in front of the statue of liberty. I had dreaded the trip to New York, but actually quite enjoyed it (for the most part). Decades of movie and TV watching has made the place weirdly familiar. It was not as horrible as I had dreaded, neither was it as big or as tall as I expected, the sights I had imagined as huge were actually just normal.

  • So do I still hate New York City? Probably not.
  • Did it live up to the hype? Definitely not.
  • Is it as big as I expected? No
  • Are the skyscrapers overwhelming? No
  • Was I disappointed? A little.
  • Will I come back? Probably not.

But my overwhelming memories of New York will be the smell. The entire place reeks of weed, piss and garbage.

Canada

Halifax, Nova Scotia

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Halifax is the capital and most populous city (about half a million) of the Canadian province of Nova Scotia. The native name Kjipuktuk (che-book-took) means “Great Harbour” in the native Mi’kmaq language. It owes its existence to its location as it sits on one of the largest and deepest ice-free natural harbours in the world.

Our ship pulled into the docks with the town on the right and Georges Island on the left. Georges Island is the home of Fort Charlotte, an old fortification with a maze of brick tunnels that once housed the ammunition for the fort’s powerful guns in bomb-proof security.

The right hand side featured one of the best developed port and dock facilities that we have experienced so far. This place has truly developed to maximise its harbourside and centralise the tourism. The wide boardwalk and infrastructure that has been built on the harbourfront really makes it a tourist friendly environment.

The waterfront is several kilometers long, with cafe’s, shops, restaurants, breweries and bars lining almost every step of the way. The boardwalk has statues, parks, swings, historical markers, and educational signposts all the way along. Some places do their ports well, but this place was a step above.

The city itself is dominated by the hilltop Citadel, a star-shaped fort completed in the 1850’s. Four fortifications have been constructed on Citadel Hill since the city was founded by the English in 1749

All but the third iteration have been called the Halifax Citadel. The last part built is a concrete star fort. While never attacked, the Citadel has long been the keystone to defence of Halifax Harbour.

At the approach to the Citadel you find the Town Clock (sometimes called the Citadel Clock Tower). It is a three-tiered octagonal tower built in 1803 on a box, originally facing the barracks. It is four-sided so that soldiers had no excuse for tardiness.

With over 13,000 kilometers of coastline, Nova Scotia offers an abundance of seaside entertainment options. Most notably it is known for its lobster and seafood.

Nova Scotia has some of the most fertile lobster fishing grounds on the planet. It has become the lifeblood of many working fishing communities in Nova Scotia as they hunt for the Atlantic Lobster. The tourism board has developed the Lobster Trail which is a collection of lobster restaurants and diners around Nova Scotia. On offer along the trail include traditional lobster dinners, chowders and rolls. Then there are some rather odd offerings like lobster poutine, lobster tacos, and lobster mac & cheese.

Along with the Lobster trail, Nova Scotia also has a Good Cheer Trail. This trail celebrates the abundance of wineries, breweries, cideries, distilleries and meaderies that are throughout the province. The Good Cheer Trail celebrates all five of these craft beverages.

Along with the waterfront, the rest of the town has a nice collection of Street Art. Interesting murals abound and almost every corner reveals something new or surprising.

The Presbyterian Church of Nova Scotia, was founded in 1817 but did not have its permanent home in Halifax until it took over the old Methodist church and established the Church of Saint David.

Originally built in 1868-69 the Church overlooks and is surrounded by the old Methodist burial ground.

Saint Mary’s Cathedral Basilica is a Gothic Revival Catholic cathedral in downtown Halifax.

Pope John II visited the cathedral back in 1984 to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the Cathedral.

With thousands of kilometers of coastline, it’s no surprise Nova Scotia has the largest number of lighthouses of all of the Canadian provinces. There are more than 150 dotting the coastline. Lighthouses are a common sight along the coasts and remain an important symbol of the past, and highlight the coastal landscapes. Some lighthouses are open to the public with guided tours, while others can be accessed from short trails and hikes.

The town is small with not that much going on, but everything that there is is on full display and is easily accessible. I am not entirely sure that I have ever been in a city or town with as many pubs, restaurants and bars. It seems like every block has at least 5 bars on it. This doesn’t sound like a lot, but as you walk block after block the numbers really add up.

Canada

Newfoundland

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Newfoundland and Labrador is a province on the far east of Canada. The island, was named by late 15th-century explorers as the New Found Land.

It has an area of 405,000 sq/km and a population just over half a million and is often called the “seabird capital of North America”. Being on the ocean, Newfoundland has extensive access to marine wildlife with whale watching (from boats or the shore) all year round. The peak of this is July and August (when we were there).

The water off Newfoundland is the perfect place to spot humpback whales, which can grow to almost 16 meters long. Along with the humpbacks there are 22 species of whales that visit Newfoundland at some point during the year. Travel websites consistently rate it as one of the world’s friendliest places.

St. John’s

Our entry was into the capital, largest city of the region and one of the oldest cities in North America St Johns. It sits on the eastern tip of the Avalon Peninsula on the island of Newfoundland and is most easterly city in North America.

The city is located on a man made harbour protected on one side by Signal Hill and on the other side of the narrows Fort Amherst (a lighthouse with the remains of gun emplacements built during World War II to defend against German U-boats).

The town/city has been inhabited since 1497 with a permanent settlement for most of the 16th century. A city of São João in this location was placed on a Portuguese map from 1519.

Our entry saw us wandering along the esplanade to the Newman Wine Vaults the region’s only publicly accessible historic wine cellar. A really great historical tour through the cellars for very little money.

One of the best reasons to visit Newfoundland is to get up close to the giant icebergs that float down from the Arctic Circle each year. Even from far away, their sheer size is unbelievable. As we had just come from the Greenland fjords and Prince Christian Sound we had pretty much had our fill of icebergs over the preceding days.

Our first view of the city saw us staring at what we thought was a Cathedral, but on closer inspection, turned out to be the Supreme Court Building.

The St. John’s Court House is located on Water Street and Duckworth Street.

Constructed in 1901–04, the building is a National Historic Site of Canada.

The Basilica-Cathedral of St. John the Baptist is the Cathedral of the Roman Catholic church.

Construction started through excavation in 1839, laying of the cornerstone in 1841, until completion and consecration in 1855.

For such a cold and chilly location, St Johns has a real bent towards outdoor eating and drinking. All along the main (water) street there were tables and decks taking over the roadway for alfresco dining.

As seems to be the way every time we visit Canada, there is an abundance of homelessness and begging. This started in Vancouver, but continued here and seems to be commonplace throughout Canada. But here they didn’t even try to claim it was for food, they were overtly asking for money for weed and alcohol.

The Cathedral of St. John the Baptist is the Anglican cathedral located in the city of St. John’s.

The Anglican parish was founded in 1699.

The Confederation building is a historic government building that was the home of the colonial and later provincial Newfoundland governments, and the House of Assembly.

The war memorial was simple but really well executed and a pleasant place to stop and reflect, while you walked your way around town.

Newfoundlanders are a very warm bunch and before long, we found ourselves chatting away to some locals and getting a sense of the colourful row houses that abound. According to legend local sailors had trouble distinguishing their houses in times of fog (alcoholic or literal) so they elected to paint their homes in bright colours to make them more visible.

Getting screeched in

To become an honorary Newfoundlander one must get screeched in. This involves a tradition (borne out of the bars on George Street) who will happily do it for a fee. To get screeched in, one must listen to the barkeep’s spiel, in response to the question “Is ye an honorary Newfoundlander?” recite the phrase (“Deed I is me ol’ cock, and long may your big jib draw!”), drink a shot of screech (a type of cheap rum), kiss a cod on the mouth (Jill’s one was named Seamus), and chase it down with a small slab of bologna.

The term Screech used to be used for any type of moonshine, but is now marketed as rum, consumed with great pride by locals, and honorary locals alike. It allegedly got its name due to the sound you make after consuming it (back when the alcohol content was not controlled and was highly variable).

This is something that Jill did and as an honorary local was then obliged to settle in and have a few more drinks with the locals. Our ship was due to depart at 4:30 pm but rumours abounded that due to weather we would stay overnight and not leave until the next morning. So we headed back to the ship, confirmed the extension of our time in port, dressed more warmly, and headed out again to hang with Jill’s newly adopted people.

We found a few more places to visit and I had my first ever moose burger, to go with the musk ox burger I had eaten a few days earlier.

Berry Head Arch is located half way along (12.4 km) in to the east coast trail, a nature walk south of St Johns.

Needless to say we did not do this.

There are more than 8,000 shipwrecks in and around Newfoundland with dozens of them in Conception Bay, near the capital.  So if you are into scuba diving and can bear the water temperatures (not me) there is a heap to be seen.

Our journey to Newfoundland took us very close to the final resting place of the Titanic. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration the Titanic sank about 400 miles off the coast and the wreckage remains about 350 miles from Newfoundland.

In one of the many exploration and salvage attempts of the Titanic, an Irish team was amazed to report that after all of this time that the swimming pools of the Titanic were still full.

Denmark

Greenland

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Greenland (Kalaallit Nunaat) is the world’s largest island (with a population of under 60 thousand) and is noted for its vast tundra and immense glaciers.

The Greenland ice sheet is the second largest body of ice in the world covering around 80% of the surface of Greenland. It is an average of 1.67 km thick, and over 3 km at its thickest. It is almost 2,900 kilometres long and 1,100 kilometres at its widest. The ice sheet covers 1.7 million square kilometres (about 12% of Antarctica).

Although officially part of the Kingdom of Denmark, the island’s home government is responsible for most domestic affairs. Most travelers come to Greenland for the glaciers, ice fields and fjords. The Greenlandic people are primarily Inuit who call themselves Kalaallit (West), Inugguit (from Thule district), or Iit (East).

Prince Christian Sound

Our first touch into Greenland was while still on the ship. The Prince Christian Sound is a 100 km long channel that connects the Labrador Sea with the Irminger Sea.

The waterway is in Southern Greenland and separates the mainland from the many islands that make up the Cape Farewell Archipelago near the southernmost tip of Greenland. The channel is narrow, sometimes only 500 metres wide and almost all the way along is a long fjord system, surrounded by steep mountains generally between 1,200 and 2,220 metres. Many glaciers go straight into the channel where they calve icebergs. 

Our day started with a few minke whale sightings, closely followed by our first iceberg of the day. From here the day just unfolded for the next few hours of whales, glaciers and icebergs.

The only indications of human life to be seen is the Ikerassasuaq weather station (using the Greenlandic name for the sound) as you enter and then the small village of Appilattoq (with about 100 people). Animal life however is considerably more abundant, with minke, fin and blue whales seen frequently, as well as ringed and bearded seals that haul out on the floating ice.

For us it was just a really nice day of floating along the waterway, staring out the windows at icebergs, glaciers and wildlife.

Qaqortoq

Our first actual touch of land in Greenland came at the small town of Qaqortoq (the Q’s are pronounced as K’s making the town phonetically Kak-or-tok) . With about 3000 population Qaqortoq is a large town by Greenland standards. The area around Qaqortoq has been continuously inhabited since prehistoric times. Beginning with the Saqqaq culture roughly 4,300 years ago. Written records of South Greenland begin with the arrival of the Norse in the late 10th century.

The ruins of Hvalsey are the most prominent Norse ruins in Greenland. They are about 19 kilometers out of town.

The site has the ruins of two great halls, 14 houses and a church house.

According to the Icelandic Book of Settlements the farmstead (Landnámabók) was established by Erik the Red’s uncle, Þorkell Farserkur (Thorkell Farserk) in the late 10th century.

The town itself is home to numerous colourful, historical colonial buildings along with the oldest fountain in Greenland, Mindebrønden, a spouting whale fountain, finished in 1932.

Our first place of visit was to hop over to the Great Greenland shop and factory that specialises in sealskin clothing . The town has a large showroom with a wide range of products, all produced locally. There is a warning though that before buying you should check that you will be allowed to bring items made of sealskin into your country of residence.

For those old enough to remember the outrage of the baby seal clubbing of the 1980’s then you will be pleased to know that things have come a long way. The furs and skins are amazingly warm and the showroom is quite the experience.

Seals are abundant in Greenland with an estimated total population of 12 million. According to statistics about 82,000 harp seals, 78,000 ringed seals and a much lower number of hooded seals are killed each year. The modern day hunting is much more humanely managed with hunters licenced, with quotas, no clubbing, and with close scrutiny. Young seals and mothers with young are fully protected.

A quick stop at a local cafe for a bight of my first ever musk ox burger, washed down by a local beer. All through the town of Qaqortoq, carved into boulders and lichen-covered rock faces, are carvings of whales, faces, and other traditional designs.

Together these stoneworks form a citywide open-air sculpture gallery known as Stone & Man. Today there are 24 separate carvings and sculptures, some took the shape of fully shaped sculptures made out of local boulders, while others looked more like recreations of ancient tribal markings of fish and whales, and others just look like graffiti.

There is also the Qaqortoq Museum, housed in the town’s oldest building (originally the town’s blacksmith’s shop).

Glaciers and icebergs abound and can be visited on either a boat tour or an unforgettable helicopter flight. You can also hike to the glacier near Narsarsuaq before you take your transfer to Qaqortoq.

Igaliku, is a small sheep farming community and Viking religious site. You can see the remains of the Garðar Cathedral, residence and two large cow barns.

Qassiarsuk hosts Brattahlíð, the original site where Eric the Red originally settled . The ruins of his settlement have been reconstructed (his longhouse and Thodhildur’s church).

If you are particularly cashed up, you can catch a boat or helicopter to one of the few thermal pools in the country. Greenland is not volcanic and has only a handful of places with hot springs, one of which is Uunartoq Hot Spring.

Nuuk

Nuuk was scheduled for our next stop but due to adverse weather conditions the stop was pulled and other venues in Canada (Nova Scotia) were added to our itinerary instead.

But for background only.

Nuuk (Godthåb) is the capital of Greenland and like most cities in Greenland, it is located along the ice-free, fjord-lined southwest coast, offering views of both the rolling landscape and the icy waters beyond. Nuuk contains a third of Greenland’s population and its tallest building. It is also the seat of government and in January 2024, had a population of 19,872.

While we just touched on two points of Greenland, in reality the majority of it is wildly inaccessible with 80% of its landmass made up of by a massive ice sheet.

Iceland

Reykjavik

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Having been to Iceland, and specifically Reykjavik, in June last year we had already hit most of the big ticket items that were on offer. The obvious was the Hallgrimskirka (big church), Harpa (concert house), Laugavegur (rainbow street) and the Sun Voyager (sculpture) and of course the Blue Lagoon. Our first foray saw us wandering all around town and taking in all of the pretty buildings and the tourist sights.

Having done that we were at a loss as to what was left to see on our two day stopover in Reykjavik. A bit of research revealed the existence of the Reykjavík City Card which offers free entry to a selection of the lesser museums and galleries, all swimming pools in Reykjavík, and free unlimited travel by bus within the Reykjavik Capital Area. The card also gives discounts on various tours, shopping and services.

The card did not include the expensive attractions (averaging $100 entry each) but for about $100 we got access to all (16) of the lesser attractions, free bus transportation and a way to see a bunch of stuff that we would not usually go to on a limited timeframe.

Being us, we titled it the ‘piss weak world‘ card. In hindsight this was an overly harsh description for what was a really good two days of exploring.

DISCLAIMER: I will state up front that modern art, contemporary art and performance art museums are absolutely not my thing. And without wanting to demean their existence, I am certain that I will, and will rank them highly in the piss weak category.

Our first entry was to the (Hafnarhús) Reykjavík Art Museum.

The blurb says that the permanent collection is of works by Erró, one of Europe’s most notable pop artists while the temporary shows tend toward the progressive and experimental, emphasising works from established contemporary artists.

Bearing in mind the disclaimer above, this was dog shit and 30 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Here are a few photos of pretty buildings as we left the art museum and headed to the next place on the list of piss weak worlds.

The next stop was at the Settlement exhibition which was immediately better.

Interesting displays of the evolution of culture and how Reykjavík grew from a farm
to a city.

This one was a really good place to visit.

The Listasafn gallery was next and might have been ok but it lost me when I walked into a gallery and found a bunch (about a dozen) of millennials laying or sitting on the floor in frozen poses.

I am sure that there is some deep contemporary art meaning to this, but to me it just screamed trust fund kids with nothing better to do.

Pass on this one.

The National Museum (Thjodminjasafn) is the oldest museum established in Iceland. It offered a variety of exhibitions illustrating the story of Iceland’s past, from
the Viking age to modern times. Excellent.

The next was the House of collections which was excellent again. This one aimed to bridge the gap between visual arts and science.

After this we were off to the Reykjavík Maritime Museum. Built in the old fish processing factory it was an odd sort of mix between museum and old school fish and chip shop.

We looked at the flyer for the Reykjavík Zoo to find that their cover image had cows on it. Having seen cows before, I figured that this zoo was more like a small Chinese dog (a Shih Tzu) so we skipped it.

That evening we made our way to one of the local swimming pools (Sundhöllin), with our dinner buddies Mark and Curtis.

Sundhöllin is a series of pools and saunas of varying temperatures that are very popular with the locals and offer an insight of the local lifestyle.

People of all ages were hopping from the 2 degree ambient temperature into the hot pool (39 degrees) and then plunging into the 12 degree pool or doing laps in the 20 degree pool. Others were heading straight from the really hot saunas, into the plunge pool and back.

I did the hot / cold / hot plunge and had a tingling sensation all over my body for the next few minutes. From here I settled in the hot pool for the next 20 minutes until it was time to get out into the 2 degree night air and race inside for hot shower and getting changed.

The next morning it was up early and off on the local bus into the outer suburbs of Reykjavík to visit the Árbær Open Air Museum. Now this truly was excellent. This is a historical village displaying tiny houses, as they existed over various periods of Icelandic development. The oldest versions had the turf roofs and stables inside with ingenious cooking and heating systems. As time progressed, so to did the build type and quality. Apart from the fact that it was a 3 degree summer’s day with a howling gale force wind, it was a truly excellent place.

Long story short, our piss weak world park pass was great value and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Yes there was some stuff that was not to my tastes, but there was plenty more that was. And the best bit was the free bus pass for the duration of the ticket. This gave us the opportunity to explore the city and see things well off the beaten path.

Our dinner buddies (Mark and Curtis) were super eager to see the volcanoes that Iceland had to offer. There had been recent volcano activity and while we went on our day one piss weak world tour they took a $500 (each) helicopter ride over the lava fields. The ride was nice but did not deliver on the sought after lava flows. That night we all headed to the pool for the hot swim and on our return to the ship were told by our favourite staff member (Fabio) that the Blue Lagoon trips for the next day had to be cancelled due to the eruption.

Eyes widened and the next morning they were up early again and had negotiated yet another $500 (each) helicopter ride. This time they hit pay dirt and were kind enough to share these images with us.

And as good as the stills are, the video was far better and you can zoom in and watch spouting geysers of flowing lava. As you can imaging, I pouted because I missed it.

Well I thought that Iceland would be a once in a lifetime experience and as it happens we have now been here twice in the last 15 months.

I must admit that we enjoyed both trips and while the place is seriously expensive and damages the budget, it really is worth making the effort to come and experience it.

Netherlands

Alkmaar

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For those that remember back (a bit over a year) we have already visited Alkmaar (about an hour north of Amsterdam) to catch up with friends that we had met in the Philippines (Michel and Sonja). The first time we arrived we happened to luck out and be there on the weekend that they hold their annual Kaeskoppenstad. This was to commemorate the siege of Alkmaar (1573), a critical turning point in the war against the Spanish as Alkmaar was the first city to withstand a siege by the Spanish army.

So on hearing of our impending return (we would take a cruise ship out of Amsterdam) we were told to forget about Amsterdam and stay with Michel and Sonja in Alkmaar instead. As it turned out, Michel (being very busy and important) had to work in the US and it was just us and Sonja.

While we were not here for the medieval festival, when we did arrive the entire town was awash with people yet again. As it turns out, when they know that we are coming, the entire town turns out. In reality, each Friday from March to September, the central square area (Waagplein) comes alive with a re-enactment of early cheese traders. Alkmaar is renowned for its cheese (cheese trading started in 1365) and they are lovingly referred to as cheese-heads.

Cheese carriers, outfitted in traditional white garb, and colorful straw hats, transport the cheeses on wooden sleds (called “berries”) which hold as much as eight cheese wheels, weighing 16 kilos each. Buyers and sellers negotiate the price of cheese through a series of hand slapping gestures. Cheese is brought to the weighing house, where it’s weighed, then brought to wagons for further transport.

Sonja posed for us at the bronze statue of a Dutch kissing cheesegirl.

It is a gift from one of the local Kaasmakers, renowned for making Beemster cheese.

A local ‘cheesegirl’ Denise van Dort modelled for the statue and gave her her first kiss on the reveal in July 2016.

Having wandered about the cheese thing, we paused at the local ice cream shop for a coffee and some apple pie for Jill. Sitting on a bridge over the canal while generally just watching the day go by really is a pretty good way to spend your time.

Sonja had organised some of her friends to take us on a boat ride around the Canals of Alkmaar. We were very quickly reunited with the concept of ducking to get underneath the low bridges on the canals. For those that have been following along, the first time here we did the inner city loop (restocking icecream at the fair), this time we did the wider loop taking in the Alkmaar surrounds. Our first stop was at a friend of theirs place who owned a restaurant and beerhaus with an incredibly impressive range of beverages on offer.

From here it was off again, after some minor engine trouble we found ourselves floating past windmills to truly cap off the Dutch experience. A bit further along we ended up at an oddly placed beach bar on the side of the canal. Feet in sand, we had a quiet sip for a few hours before continuing our journey, racing the setting sun to get home in time.

Putting the boat to bed we all headed to the local pizza joint for a bite to eat and good company. The pizza place had yet another impressive range of beers and the glasses that went with them (a really nice touch prevalent in this part of the world). Five of us ate and drank and the total bill came out at just 5 euros more than we had paid 2 days earlier for just Jill and I to eat in Norway.

The next day Sonja had to work so we took the opportunity to get all of our domestics (washing etc) under control . Once this was sorted we hit the shops and cooked up a storm so that Sonja could just relax when she came home to a fully cooked meal (including dessert).

After this we walked (about 500m) to Sonja’s sister’s house and met some family members, along with her daughter. On the Sunday we made our way (about 5km) from Alkmaar to the little village (715 residents) of Grootschermer, the town where Sonja grew up. Here we met her mum, sister, daughter and brother-in law (from the night before) and their son who also came out to visit.

On a Sunday the town of Grootschermer comes out and gets together focussed specifically around the tiny house (an old farm house). Around this area was a few people in dress up (must be a dutch thing) and some displays of making wool with an old spinning wheel.

Most importantly, they were smoking fresh eel and serving it up on bread rolls (Palingbroodjes), and on the other side they were frying up fresh dutch croquettes and serving them on bread rolls with mustard (Broodje kroket).

The hall church was thoroughly restored in 1978. The tower clock and bell are from 1648 and the old coat of arms of the Schermer (a mole and two pikes) are still in the clock. The eastern dial of the clock is larger than that on the west side because the farm workers had to be able to see the time from far away. The village church has an art committee that organises exhibitions every summer. During the exhibitions, the church is open on weekends and is freely accessible.

From here it was off to the Foundation Museum and Sculpture Garden of local artist Nic Jonk. This museum and its sculpture garden were opened in 1965. You can look at statues, paintings, glass art and much more. There are around 200 statues by Nic Jonk in public spaces around the Netherlands. His work can also be found in Belgium, Germany, Italy, Curacao and the United States.

Alkmaar and the surrounds really gave us an insight into life in a small village. Sonja was born, grew up and has lived her life within a 5km radius, and (much of) the rest of her family is within the same area. They have all travelled widely and experienced other things, but have chosen to stay rooted to a particular spot. And what a lovely spot it is.

This level of community and village type feel does not exist in big cities and even in small towns in Australia, I have not seen or experienced anything like it.

It was a shame that we missed Michel, but Sonja was an amazing host and we had a really good time and are so grateful for the hospitality offered. I am certain that we will catch up again, in Australia, Netherlands or maybe even back in the Philippines where we first met.

Denmark

Copenhagen

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Copenhagen is the capital of Denmark, with a population of around 1.4 million (3.8 in the greater Copenhagen area). It sits on the islands of Zealand and Amager. It regularly gets voted in the top 5 most livable cities and the Danes always rank highly on the world’s happiest people.

Copenhagen’s 1,000 year history is reflected in the buildings, museums, sights and attractions that you come across. But in addition to this is the modern infrastructure, innovation and daring architecture that keep it high on the happiness scale.

Copenhagen started as a Viking fishing village back in the 10th century and became the capital of Denmark in the early 15th century.

Denmark has the world’s oldest monarchy. The current reigning Queen
Margrethe II, counts legendary Viking King Gorm the Old (900-958 AD) as one of her ancestors. Royalty is present everywhere in Copenhagen mostly manifesting in the many palaces and regal buildings built by kings and queens throughout the centuries.

Jill could not have put our hotel any closer to the railway station if she had tried.

A funky little joint, directly opposite the station, would make our early morning departure quick and painless.

In the other direction was the historic Tivoli Gardens.

Tivoli Gardens is an amusement park in the middle of town. It first opened its doors on 15 August 1843.

It is the second oldest amusement park in the world (the oldest is Dyrehavsbakken – also in Denmark).

Built in 1914 it has one of the world’s oldest wooden roller coasters that is still operating today.

The area around is known as the Strøget, which is one of Europe’s longest pedestrian streets, running from City Hall Square to Kongens Nytorv (The King’s New Square). It is the city’s main shopping area.

Nyhavn is one of Copenhagen’s most iconic sights, with a row of colourful houses that are now restaurants and bars.

Originally it was a commercial port where ships from all over the world would dock, and was packed with sailors visiting its pubs, alehouses and ladies of pleasure.

The Danish fairy-tale writer Hans Christian Andersen was most famous for his fairy tales even though he wrote novels, poems, plays and travel articles. 

He used to live on Nyhavn in number 20, where he wrote the fairy-tales ‘The Tinderbox’, ‘Little Claus and Big Claus’, and ‘The Princess and the Pea’. He then lived for twenty years in number 67 and for two more years in number 18.

As you pop out near the major canal you find yourself at the the first ever museum in Denmark. Now the Thorvaldsen Museum (displaying the works of Bertel Thorvaldsen) when it opened in 1848 its halls displayed mostly sculptures.

Charlottenborg Palace is a large mansion that was originally built as a residence but has served as the base of the Royal Danish Academy of Fine Arts since 1754.


Christiansborg Palace is a former palace and now government building in central Copenhagen. now houses the Danish Parliament, Prime Ministers office, the Supreme Court, and the Ministry of State. The Great Hall is the most imposing room in the palace and is where you will find Queen Margrethe II’s tapestries.

The equestrian statue of Christian V on horseback was raised in 1688 to celebrate the king who laid out the area.

Frederik’s Church, commonly known as the Marble Church sits due west of the Amalienborg Palace and forms the focal point of the Frederiksstaden district.

It is an Evangelical Lutheran church, the foundation stone was laid on October 31, 1749 but it stood as a ruin for nearly 150 years until it was finally finished until 1894.

St. Alexander Nevsky Russian Orthodox Church is the only Russian Orthodox church in Copenhagen. It was built by the between 1881 and 1883, prompted by Princess Dagmar of Denmark’s marriage to Alexander Alexandrovich.

They later ascended to the Russian throne as Tsar Alexander III of Russia and Tsaritsa Maria Feodorovna.

Around the corner you find yourself at the Design museum. Originally the first public hospital in Denmark the museum now offers displays of decorative art, crafts, and industrial designs from the late Middle Ages up to the present.

The National Museum of Denmark showcases everything from Viking treasure, the 3,000 year old Sun Chariot, the Egtved girl’s grave through to Egyptian mummies and renaissance art.

No trip to Copenhagen is complete without going to see the Little Mermaid. But to get there you have to take a fair hike through Kastellet. This one time Citadel is now a public park but still houses one of the best preserved fortresses in Northern Europe. It is shaped like a pentagon with bastions at its corners. There are a number of buildings located within the grounds including the Citadel Church as well as a windmill and various military buildings.

The Little Mermaid is a bronze statue depicting a mermaid becoming human. It is based on the fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen.

It is a small and unimposing statue and has been a Copenhagen icon since its unveiling in 1913.

Rosenborg Castle sits in the centre of Copenhagen and was originally built as a country summerhouse in 1606-1607. It sits in the middle of the King’s Garden and is home to the Danish Crown Jewels, Crown Regalia, and gems. The park was created by King Christian IV in the early 1600s for parties and frivolities. Today the park is open to the public.

Amalienborg Palace Frederik VIII’s Palace was built during 1750-60 for Baron Joachim Brockdorff. Today the palace is The Royal Family’s private residence.

An hour outside of town you will find Kronborg Castle, ‘home’ to Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

The first castle on this spot was built in the 1420s. Ships passing into the Baltic Sea paid tolls at Kronborg Castle and Helsingør was once one of the most important towns in Europe.

The modern castle has the same dimensions as when they enlarged the castle (upwards), the old one was not torn down. They just built on top of it.

Deep under the castle you’ll meet Holger the Dane (Holger Danske), an imposing stone statue. Holger the Dane is a legendary figure in Danish culture and according to legend, if Denmark is ever in trouble, he’ll waken from his rock throne under Helsingør and defend her.

Our trip to Copenhagen was too short. There is so much history and so much to see and do, you really need much more time than we had available. The problem with this is that Copenhagen is brutally expensive. Accommodation, food and drink will seriously damage the wallet. It is lovely to see but I am not entirely sure that either of us would put this (or most of Scandinavia to be honest) on our must return list. They were all nice and interesting enough, but it may just be a been there done that tick for far northern Europe.

Norway

Norway

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Norway is the country that has been terrifying me for a very long time now. Everything that we have heard, from everyone we have met, has told us that Norway is the most expensive country in the world.

When in Iceland we paid 17 euros for a beer (about $28 AUD), their comment was that at least they were cheaper than Norway.

For those that remember our foray into Switzerland, on the first night we bought a (very ordinary) kebab and a soft drink each with a final bill of over $61 . The next night we ended up eating salad (bought from the supermarket) on our bed because we could not afford to eat out at the restaurants. The three most expensive countries worldwide are Norway, Switzerland, Iceland. These countries stand out for their high cost of living, groceries, accommodation, dining out, and purchasing power.

Despite my fears, it wasn’t that bad. In fact both Switzerland and Iceland were worse and their claims of being cheaper than Norway were false. Don’t get me wrong, this place is still seriously expensive, but not as terrifying as I had been led to believe. Although, we met others shortly afterwards that claimed that once you got out of the capital that the prices skyrocketed.

Norway is a Scandinavian nation with a population of 5.5 million and has has an extensive coastline facing the North Atlantic Ocean and the Barents Sea. The unified kingdom of Norway was established in 872 (merging smaller ‘petty kingdoms’) and has existed continuously ever since. Norway was neutral during WWI, and in the WWII until it was invaded by Nazi Germany in 1940 who held control until the end of the war.

Oslo

At the end of the Oslo fjord lies Oslo,it is a green and modern city with a population of around 700,000. Oslo’s history goes back 1000 years. In 1624, all of old Oslo burnt to the ground. King Christian IV decided that the city should not be rebuilt at the same location and instead be built to the north of the Fortress. It became the capital city of Norway after the constitution was drafted in 1814.

During Viking times, there was a large settlement in Oslo, but there are very few traces of Vikings in the area. About a 90 minute drive away at the Vestfold County is where the viking relics and evidence of occupation can be found.

Vikings

The Viking legacy is strong in Norway, the Viking Age began in 793 with an attack on the Lindisfarne monastery in England (which is the first known Viking raid). The slaying of King Harald Hardrada at the Battle of Stamford Bridge in 1066 is thought to be the event that marks the end of their glory days.

The Vikings are mostly known for their relentless pillaging but many of them lived peacefully as traders and farmers with many expeditions main aims being barter deals. Those who stayed home supported their families through farming . But it was mostly raids looting, colonisation, and trade that brought the Vikings to so many destinations.

Longships sailed across the Baltic Sea, down Russian rivers to the Black and Caspian Seas, across to Byzantium (Istanbul) and to Baghdad (Iraq). Vikings were the first Europeans to reach Greenland and North America. In fact, the Viking explorer Leiv Eiriksson arrived on the shores of North America around 500 years before Christopher Columbus.

Vikings are known to have settled many cities (including Dublin and the region of Normandy in France). Dublin was held as a significant viking settlement for more than three centuries. Between 879 and 920, Vikings colonised Iceland, which became the springboard for the colonisation of Greenland. Remains of a viking settlement in Newfoundland have been carbon dated to 1000.

Our adventure

After the drama of getting here (see the Sweden post), our accommodation was a short (800m) walk from the central railway station and a similar distance from the docks that we would end up sailing out of. Being so centrally located, and a little delayed we were on a tight timeline to get out and explore. Thankfully Oslo CBD and tourist attractions are compact and easily navigable.

The first thing we wanted to see was the Museum of the Viking Age. But the website immediately notified us that it was closed and will not reopen until 2027.

With the Museum out we aimed for the Cathedral (Oslo Domkirke) right in the heart of town. Along the way we came across funky little square (Christiania Torv) with some of Oslo’s oldest buildings found around it, including first town hall from 1641 (today a restaurant). The square is known for its fountain, with a sculpture of a hand pointing to the ground. This is allegedly where the Danish-Norwegian king (Christian IV) pointed to this spot and said: “The new town will lie here!”. Continuing past the square we got to the the Cathedral which is the seat of the Bishop of Oslo. It was first consecrated in 1697, but needed to be restored back to its original baroque interior after WWII.

From here we were in full swing and headed along the Karl Johans gate. This is a popular avenue that stretches from the Oslo Central Station to the Royal Palace. Along the way we stopped at the Eidsvoll plass which is the park that sits in front of the Norwegian Parliament building.

As you keep walking through the park and along the Karl Johans gate you come across some truly lovely old buildings. Including the National Theatre, one of Norway’s largest avenues for performing arts.

The photos below are just a collection of really cool old buildings as you yellow building below has been a restaurant since the 18th century and the next has been a hotel for about the same period, some funky old banks and university buildings and the national theatre.

As the walk continues you find yourself at Slottsparken (the Royal Gardens) and then Slottsplassen (‘The Palace Square’) and of course the Palace itself.

Directly in front of the palace you find the statue of Charles John of Norway and Sweden.

It was sculpted and erected in 1875.

Coming back along the other side of the park and you wander past the Oslo City Hall (Radhuset).

The building has two towers (63 and 66 meters tall) with the eastern tower hosting a carillon set of 49 bells.

Behind the city hall is the Oslo Fjord waterfront. This area holds the National Museum and the Nobel Peace centre.

This museum marks the start of the Oslo city harbour promenade.

Here you can walk along the Oslo harbour for almost 10 kilometres, with no interruptions.

Shipyards, container facilities and heavy traffic have given way to pedestrian walkways, parks and benches. And of course an upscale pier full of restaurants and shops (that we couldn’t afford) and at the very end of the walk is the Astrup Fearnley Museum which is the museum for contemporary art.

One of the more interesting things that we discovered on this amble along the waterfront was the spotting of floating saunas. apparently, urban sauna culture has taken Oslo by storm. In the city centre several options have appeared for combining a trip to the sauna with a following dip into the fjord. There were a bunch of saunas anchored to the docks that accommodate up to 7 people. There is an additional option where you can rent a sauna and take it for a cruise into the harbour and out to see the Fjord.

While we were there we saw this one lone little sauna (about the size of a 1970’s caravan) bobbing up and down on the bay while the bigger boats and ferries beeped their horn and all but ran it over.

Having almost looped the city we found ourselves back near the main railway station (on the water) staring at the Oslo Opera House.

And just next door to this is the Munch Museum. This is home to the collection of work by Norwegian artist Edvard Munch and includes the three versions of his iconic painting, The Scream.

Akershus Fortress is known to be the most haunted castle in Norway and attracts more than three million visitors every year. It was built around 1290 by King Haakon V as a defensive stronghold for Oslo. It was once used as a prison for Norway’s most infamous criminals and during WWII, Nazis occupied the castle and conducted executions there. Today the fortress area is a popular venue for major events, including concerts, public holiday celebrations and ceremonies.

Trolls

Once upon a time (according to folklore) trolls roamed freely in the Norwegian mountains and forests. But the trolls only went out at night, in the dark because if they were caught in the sunlight the first rays of the sunlight would turn them into stone. Because of this you can still see their faces and bodies carved into the mountain sides, cliffs and stones all around the country. These rock formations and mountains with troll-like-shapes have mesmerised people all over Norway for thousands of years. Now, most of the trolls can be seen at the tourist shops.

Oslo hosts The Viking Planet the world’s first digital Viking museum that uses VR technology, holograms, interactive screens and 270-degree film to explore the life of the Vikings. The venue allows you to learn and experience the everyday life of the Vikings, join a voyage, climb aboard a Viking ship in a storm and take a picture of yourself as a Viking.

About 15 kilometers around the Fjord you can find the Henie Onstad Art centre and sculpture park, Our time did not allow us to get here but it does look amazing.

Poncy statues

For a nation with such a strong and bold viking history, Oslo sure had the poonciest set of statues we have ever seen. We had expected to find butch and manly men and strong shieldmaiden type women immortalised in the statues around town. What we found could not have been more opposite.

The Polar Exploration (Fram) Museum is literally built around the two ships that define Norwegian polar exploration: the Fram and the Gjøa. Housed in two tall buildings designed to accommodate the ships, it comprises numerous exhibitions and offers an opportunity to board and explore the Fram.

Leaving Norway we hopped on the ferry (once again more like a cruise ship) to take us the 600 kilometers from Oslo to Copenhagen in Denmark. The ship leaves Oslo at about 3pm, travels overnight with a quick stop in Frederikshavn (Denmark) and delivers you at docks in Copenhagen at 10am the next morning.

Sweden

Sweden

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Ok so two of my closest mates (Jimmy and Angelo) had both spent the preceding week and month respectively in Sweden and both raved about how good it was.

My mate Angelo has been coming for years and catching up with some local friends and Jimmy was catching up with family.

So Sweden got quite the buildup before we had even arrived therefore our expectations were high.

At 450,295 square kilometres and a population of a bit over 10.6 million, Sweden is the largest Nordic country and the fifth-largest country in Europe. Sweden has been inhabited since prehistoric times, c. 12,000 BC. A unified Swedish state was established during the 10th century and in 1397, Sweden joined Norway and Denmark to form the Scandinavian Kalmar Union.

The Swedish Viking Age lasted from the eighth to the eleventh century with Swedish Vikings travelling east and south, going to Finland, Estonia, the Baltic countries, Russia, Belarus and Ukraine. Stockholm is the capital and Gothenburg is the home of Volvo.

Stockholm

The city of Stockholm is situated on fourteen islands and on the banks of the archipelago where Lake Mälaren meets the Baltic Sea.

Our entry to Sweden was on an overnight ferry (more like a cruise ship) from Finland. This meant that we sailed in past some of the 267,570 islands that Sweden has to offer.

This made for a pretty spectacular way to enter a country.

 After landing we grabbed a car from the docks to our hotel, which was quite literally right next door to the central railway station (we would leave by train). Once settled we headed straight for a flea market that we had passed on the drive in. As it turned out, the market was being held in the square in front of the Stockholm concert house (Konserthuset) which was built after WWI. Since 1926,  the Nobel Prize in medicine, physics, chemistry and literature has been awarded (on 10 December each year) in this concert hall.

The flea market was more flea than market, so we took some happy snaps and continued our journey. This saw us getting to Sergels torg a public square with a sunken pedestrian plaza and a distinctive grey and white triangular design. As we tend to do, we were wandering in the general direction of the palace but got distracted by funky looking buildings. The first that we saw was Saint Jacob’s Church.

Around the corner and we were in the Kungstradgarden, a long and impressive greenspace linking the city heart to the water.

The Kungliga Opera House that is home to the Royal Swedish Opera and the ballet company. As seems to be the way, the entire side facing the water was covered in scaffolding. But as in Helsinki, they did leave the front relatively clear.

As you cross the bridge you find yourself on a tiny little island and a park called the Riksplan, a public park with the Swedish Parliament house (Riksdagshuset) on your right.

And directly across from that is Gamla stan, the old part of the city that holds important things like the Royal Palace and Museums (Kungliga Slottet). We arrived at about 1pm to see hundreds of people starting to mass at the gates. A snappy google search told us that the changing of the guard would take place at quarter past. We started to hang about, but about three tour bus loads later and we decided to walk away.

Storkyrkan Cathedral is the oldest church in Stockholm and lies in the centre of Gamla stan, between the Palace and Stortorget, (the old main square of Stockholm).

It was built in the 13th century and currently serves as the seat of the Bishop of Stockholm.

Also on the Gamla Stan Island you will find the Nobel Prize Museum, a small museum with vast content.

Just across from Gamla Stan is another small island that is home to the Riddarholmen, the church of the former medieval Greyfriars Monastery. It is the largest church in Sweden and serves as the final resting place of most Swedish monarchs. We have seen quite the number of churches over the years, this one is up there with the best.

With Jimmy having just left Sweden, he talked up a couple of beverages that he rated particularly highly. So based on his recommendation we headed to a venue, ordered his suggestions, and then tinkered with some others. Fair enough to say that they were not terrible and we slowly sipped our way through the afternoon.

Having blitzed the old town area all that was really left was to wander the streets and check out the mix between old and new that Stockholm has to offer. It was pretty similar to Helsinki, but somehow felt so much more interesting. I cannot explain why but the feel here in Stockholm was much more welcoming.

Gothenburg

Gothenburg is the second-largest city in Sweden, with a population of about 600,000 and 1.1 million in the broader metro area. The city isn’t actually called Gothenburg, in Swedish the city is named Göteborg, roughly pronounced yaw-ta-bore(g). Founded in 1621 it quickly became a major commercial fishing and shipbuilding hub, and later the birthplace of Volvo.

It sits on the west coast of Sweden and has been ranked as the world’s most sustainable city for the last six years running. Gothenburg was the first city in the world to issue green bonds to stimulate investment in solutions to climate change. Almost all the city’s hotels are eco-certified and plans to develop a zero-emissions transport zone in the downtown district are well underway.

Jönköping is located on the highway between Stockholm and Gothenburg. The tourist blurb suggests that there is plenty to do around Jönköping. This includes things like the lake Vättern Biosphere Reserve, fishing, camping, hiking/biking trails, kayaking, and of course there is the safety match museum.

Kalmar is by the Baltic Sea near the Danish border and is surrounded by water. It was a fortified city and a stronghold for royal power (13th to the 17th centuries). At the center is the Kalmar castle, which was used to defend Sweden against invasions.

Älmhult is the home of Ikea. It is a city/town of about 9,000 and it houses both the Ikea Hotel and the museum. The museum is massive and showcases the design and history of Ikea. while the hotel is the only place you can stay in a room completely furnished with 100% Ikea products. They even have price tags and information about where to find them in the store!

The most important thing that we learned in all of out time in Sweden, is that Australians pronounce the most famous Swedish store (Ikea) incorrectly.

We typically call it (eye kee ah) but after much consultation we have learned that it is actually pronounced (ick ee ah).

Leaving Sweden ended up being quite the adventure, it wasn’t meant to be it just happened that way. Our day started at about 5am with a short (about 100m) walk to the central train station where we waited and boarded our fast train towards Oslo in Norway. All went swimmingly for the first couple of hours with some stunning Swedish countryside to be taken in.

Until the train ground to a halt in the town of Valsviken. Apparently there was an issue at the next stop (Karlstad) which meant that no train (from either direction) could enter. This meant that we all got kicked off the train and milled about at the wrong station waiting for buses to come and get us to drive us to the station that they couldn’t use.

Once at the broken station we then got ferried to the next town of Kil where we met up with the similar train going in the opposite direction. Apparently they had all been similarly dumped and bused and were wending their way to the train that we had just abandoned.

While it all seems fairly innocuous, the communication throughout was less than stellar and there was much milling about in the cold and the wind while confusion reigned supreme. Hundreds of people, not enough buses, poor communication and at least 7 languages in play made for an entertaining few hour delay and drama.

On the up side, we got to see even more of the amazing Swedish countryside and lakes. The place really is very pretty.

Sweden had a really nice feel to it. By all accounts, the real value of Sweden is not to be found in town but in nature. There are countless national parks and nature reserves in Sweden along with four biosphere reserves. A Biosphere reserves is an ecosystem of special scientific and natural interest that are left undisturbed. In addition to this there are the many rivers and lakes that we drove past that are visually just stunning. So I guess we have a reason to return.

Finland

Finland

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The area that is now Finland was settled around 8,500 BC during the Stone Age towards the end of the last glacial period. The artefacts the first settlers left behind present characteristics that are shared with those found in Estonia, Russia, and Norway.

Finland covers an area of 338,145 square kilometres (130,559 sq mi)[4] and has a population of 5.6 million.

In 1906, Finland became the first European state to grant universal suffrage, and the first in the world to give all adult citizens the right to run for public office.

The nation remained a largely agricultural country until the 1950s. After World War II, it industrialised quickly and established an advanced economy. It became a member of the EU in 1995, the Eurozone in 1999, and NATO in 2023.

Finland in the summer months – the sun doesn’t set at all in the northernmost parts of the country, hence the nickname “The Land of the Midnight Sun.” In the winter, the opposite happens, and the sun disappears for months. This time is called “kaamos”.

And – if you’re lucky – the Autumn and Spring may bring the colourful Northern Lights (photo from visitfinland.com).

And according to the WHO (World Health Organisation) Finland has the best air quality in the world.

Getting here

Our trip to Finland from Estonia was on the ferry. I must be honest and say that the idea of a ferry was not all that appealing. But on arrival I was met by more of a cruise ship than a ferry. The modern European ferries make the Australian ferry options look absolutely prehistoric. Our trip was on the Tallink Megastar.

The Megastar is the newest ship in the Tallink fleet and has been operating since 2017. The 212 metre vessel can hold 2800 passengers and reach speeds of 27 knots.

It has restaurants, bars, the largest mall on the Baltic Sea and a 2,800 square meter Superstore (think Myers) that is a fully stocked.

Add to this a huge duty free shop where you can get spirits, wines, beer, cigarettes, sweets, cosmetics and perfumes.

The garage area has a capacity of 150 vehicles.

The ride only took 2 hours and there was quite literally not a wave to be seen. The Baltic Sea (at least when we were there) was a millpond. Long story short, my fears of the ferry were unfounded and in reality this is the best and most relaxing way possible to get around up here.

Helsinki

Helsinki is the capital of Finland with a population a bit over 600 thousand. I will state right now that the beer and the local food was absolutely the lowlight of our time here in Finland. Both the price and the taste left us both unimpressed. We did find a Syrian restaurant that saved us, but the local fare on offer was not great.

Our introduction to Helsinki was when we left the port and walked about a kilometer away to get our Bolt car without the harassment of the local cab drivers. Here is where we found the Bad Boy. It is a pink 8.5 metre sculpture made of concrete that weighs in at about seven and a half tons. And it is of a boy pissing. The water flow in the sculpture is heated so the boy can urinate all year round, even in winter.

It was was originally ordered as part of a public art festival in Sweden, where it urinated into a river in a park.

It then moved to Market Square in Helsinki where it urinated into the ocean in front of the Presidential Palace.

It most recently moved to in front of an electronics store, where it acquired a set of headphones.

There is a HOHO bus in Helsinki, but it is €34 each, and the town centre and loop really isn’t that big and is easily walkable. The Mannerheimintie is the central avenue that runs through the heart of the capital. Unlike the old towns of the Baltics, Helsinki is a very modern city.

But we were here and it was time to explore. Our wander towards town saw us looking at some interesting looking buildings, nice parks on a cool and pleasant day in the heart of town. Once we got to the circular Swedish Theatre we were in the heart of it.

Modern blocks, full of rows of shops and shopping malls to rival any modern city on the planet. There was the odd glimpse towards something vaguely historical, but for the most part it was just a modern city. The central railway station signalled the start of a bit more character. The railway tracks were built in the 1860s an the granite clad station in 1919. The building is known for its clock tower and the Lyhdynkantajat (“The Lantern Bearers”).

Just down the road from the train station you come across Rautatientori square and the the Finnish National Theatre. founded in 1872, is the oldest Finnish-language professional theatre in the country.

Across the road you find the Ateneum, which is the major Art museum in Helsinki. It is one of the three museums that forms the Finnish National Gallery.

The National Museum was closed for renovation at the time we were here. But when it is open it looks like this and it traces the Finnish history from the Stone Age to the present.

Helsinki Cathedral was one of the must do major attractions and once again, it was under construction.

The usually stunning building was covered in scaffolding.

While the main building was under renovation, they did leave one side free for photographs. Added to this the Cathedral sits on Senate Square, which is impressive enough in its own right. The square is in the oldest part of central Helsinki and is ringed by the Cathedral, the Government Palace, the main building of the University of Helsinki and the oldest building of central Helsinki (Sederholm House dating from 1757).

Having had enough for day one and walking plenty we made our way back towards our accommodation, stopping for some very poor local beers and bites on the way. The next morning a great breakfast primed us for another day of walking to explore the rest of the city. But first we headed down to the location of the open air flea market. This was clearly just a weekend thing, and after standing and scratching out heads for a while it was back to the Mannerheimintie.

Also on Mannerheimintie you will find the Parliament house which was designed and built after WWI.

The Sibelius Monument is a park sculpture dedicated to the Finnish composer Jean Sibelius (1865–1957). It controversially looks like organ pipes, despite the composer not making music for the organ.

Kiasmais is a very funky location and is the home of the contemporary art museum.

At the end of the Mannerheimintie you run into the waterfront and the usual tourist fare that goes with that. A bunch of local ferries come and go, and there is a huge number of (summertime) pop up stalls to feed them and extract some money for trinkets. Add to this a Ferris wheel and a swimming pool and the place is complete.

Up the hill from the waterfront you will find the highly impressive Uspenski Cathedral. This is the largest Orthodox church in western Europe and is visited by half a million people annually. The cathedral’s size is emphasized by its location on the highest hill of the Katajanokka district. The central cupola of the cathedral is 33 meters high. The cathedral was designed by a Russian architect and was consecrated in 1868.

Suomenlinna sea fortress is a Unesco World Heritage Site located on the coast of Helsinki. It is accessible by ferry and is also a suburb of Helsinki with around 800 residents. The fortress was shaped by three historic eras when it helped to defend first Sweden, then Russia and ultimately Finland. There are six kilometres of walls, 100 cannons, exciting tunnels, and beautiful parks. 

In the past, all of Finland’s houses were built of wood and usually painted red, with a few blue and yellow thrown in.

Some of these have been preserved and sit just as they did decades or centuries ago. Visiting these picturesque places is like entering a living time capsule. Within Helsinki the districts of Käpylä (about 8km north) and Vallila (about 5km northeast) will give you an opportunity to explore some of these.

Olavinlinna Castle (also known as St. Olaf’s Castle) is one of Finland’s best known tourist sites. It was founded in 1475 and is built on an island in the Kyrönsalmi strait.  

At around 400km from Helsinki we didn’t get here but it did look pretty cool. Our time in Helsinki was mixed. The town initially did not impress, but it did grow on us the more we explored. The local food and drink options were both expensive and poor, but other options (non-Finnish) were readily available and were typically better priced.

While it was perfectly nice, I don’t see either of us rushing back to Finland anytime soon. The weather was nice, the people friendly but this ticks one of those been there-done that type boxes rather than the oh my god we have to go back.

Travelling the world in a pre and post COVID state