Malaysia

Melaka

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We have been to Malaysia a lot – we regularly transit through Kuala Lumpur and Penang is one of my favourite places on the planet. We have hit the west coast and Borneo extensively but had never made it south or to the east coast. So this trip we are.

After a nice easy transit through Kuala Lumpur (again) – I should talk about our KL transits as we do them so often. We have found a little hotel right in the midst of KLIA2 (the airport) that gives us access to an air conditioned room, a shower and a bed (for about $60 a night). It is a short walk from the terminal (about 600-800 meters) and is set up especially for those in transit. There is a 24 hour reception and the buffet breakfast starts at 4am to accommodate the early flights. We have stayed here many times and probably will again.

So after a shower, a meal (including beer) and a sleep we hopped on a bus from the airport and headed south to Melaka (Malacca). Oh and by the way – the spelling of the name of this place changes regularly and inconsistently.

Probably worth mentioning the busses here. These are things that I typically have avoided at all costs as they are slow, cumbersome and uncomfortable. In addition they really are not built for people over 6 foot tall. Add to this Jill’s amusement by booking us on (what has come to be known as) chicken busses. We have travelled on some truly atrocious local bus transports.

But I am very happy to say that in Malaysia, this is definitely not the case. Bus transport in Malaysia (at least the long haul stuff) is clean, comfortable and a highly pleasant experience. There are 3 seats across rather than the usual 4, and the seats are spaced reasonably apart so that there is ample leg room. There is, in fact, a hell of a lot more comfort to be found on a Malaysian bus than there is on any economy airline seat anywhere in the world.

We had long heard of the importance of the Malacca Straits (the vital trade route that keeps Asian and global trade flourishing) but had not made it down here until now.

Virtually all shipping between the Far East and the Mediterranean / Middle East has to pass through this channel and has done so for hundreds of years (since around 1400). Because of this it has been a critical global port (along with places like Singapore and Shang-Hai) for many centuries.

Every year, around 90,000 ships pass through the sea lane of the Malacca Strait, which links the Indian Ocean to the Pacific. The cargo lanes make up an estimated 40 % of global trade. In addition, along the seabed is a dense array of internet cables that keep the world online. It is one of the most vital arteries of the global economy and a well-known global choke point.

Melaka was the location of one of the earliest Malay sultanates but this all went away when the Portuguese conquered it in 1511. The Dutch then had a turn from 1641 to 1798, who then ceded to the British in 1824. Even Japan had a turn during WWII (1942–1945). Until finally on 31 August 1957, Malaya became an independent nation.

Melaka has it all, from old Chinese churches to Portuguese forts, palaces to heritage museums, mosques, sanctuaries to cultural parks. For the most part they are relics of the colonisation by the Dutch, Portuguese and the British But there is plenty to see and do (as long as you can abide the heat and humidity).

Most of the activity in town centres around Red Square or the Stadhuys (that were once the offices of the Dutch Governor) and across the bridge into Oldtown and Jonker St (the Chinatown area). This includes the overly packed weekend night market (especially on Saturday night). With the influx of the incredibly blingy pedal tuk tuks.

I usually don’t talk about where we stay, as most people that we know would never stay at such meagre offerings. We are more 2 star than 4 star and while we love the character of many of these places they would draw the scorn of most of our family and friends. It is the price we pay for travelling for long periods.

That said, there are still some basic rules that we abide by. Our hotels and rooms must:

  • be a private room (no dorms)
  • have a private ensuite (no shared bathrooms)
  • have decent WIFI (as far as possible)
  • be close to lots of food options
  • be walking distance to the cool stuff

Here in Melaka we stayed at a place that was just fantastic. It was more akin to a B&B than a hotel. Run by Choa and his wife Maria their spiel is “We’re a budget guesthouse with charm and we are one of the cheapest options because we don’t have staff – we do everything ourselves. Our home is your home – come sit back, relax, and join us for a cup of coffee”.

Granted it doesn’t look like much from the outside but you cannot find nicer or more accommodating hosts. Once you get in the walls are covered in murals of all of the sights to see in and around Malaka. Nothing is too much trouble and they even give you a recommended itinerary to make the most out of your stay.

And it is right in the middle of some fantastic (an cheap) restaurants.

Maria is a master baker (maybe not officially but certainly in our eyes) who bakes up a storm every day. Biscuits, cakes, slices you name it. And on our last day she even made up a care package for Jill to leave with to get us through our bus ride – that included several types of biscuits a fresh mango and some banana cake.

If we come back to Melaka we would stay here again just to experience the hospitality again.

There is also a Little India that caters to the mainly Tamil population, who first came to work on the rubber plantation. It is fairly small but the restaurants are pretty good and most importantly they have been culturally welcomed. There is even a Chitty Village for the minority Chitty population.

The most striking part for us (other than the food) was the waterfront. the river makes its way through the heart of the city and virtually every step along the way there is something to see. Sadly many of the funky little cafes and restaurants (away from the main blocks) are no longer open (right now) but hopefully they will come back in time. But the river is really nice and is well used with tourist cruises and bars and restaurants lining the strip.

As nice as the riverfront is at night, if you are willing to brave the heat of the day, you get exposed to a whole new world during the daylight hours. Walls plastered with street art (becoming a favourite of ours it seems) funky bridges crossing backwards and forwards along the river, even a Ferris wheel. There really is a lot to keep yourself amused with.

Who knew I would be writing about this…Gan Boon Leong was born in 1937 and was Malaysia’s most successful bodybuilder (and later politician) – having won countless bodybuilding prizes, including Mr. Asia and Mr. Universe. He is known as the ‘Father of Bodybuilding in Malaysia’. To honor everything he did for Melaka, the city erected several golden statues of him, which are now just as much photographed as Melaka’s more traditional tourist sights.

The Malacca Straits Mosque was built in 2006 on a man-made island and looks like it is floating when the water level is high. It has two archways lead to the main entrance with stained glass covering the space between the arches. The mosque has a 30-metre tall minaret that doubles as a lighthouse.

Food

With Melaka’s long held importance as a trade route, comes a food maturity that exists in few places. People have been brining their food influences into Melaka for hundreds of years and the result is spectacular. Penang and Singapore are my two favourite food destinations and having been to Melaka, I have found my third. The laksa is sensational (but be warned is seriously spicy) and no trip to Malaysia is complete without a Roti Canai (pronounced Chanai).

Every meal we had in Melaka was a win. Whether Indian, Chinese, Malay. In fact even the western food attempts were credible (a rare thing throughout Asia). Melaka may be my second favourite Malaysian spot (behind Penang).

Maldives

Maldives

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Point number one…they are Mal deeves, not Mal dives, regardless of the spelling.

The Maldives are a nation that is 99% water, with 1192 individual islands (about 200 of these are inhabited). The islands extend more than 820 km from north to south and 130 km from east to west. All the islands are low-lying, none rising to more than 6 feet (1.8 metres) above sea level.

The geography naturally divides the country up into 26 atolls (chains of islands) but for administrative purposes, the government has divided it into 20. Added to this there are many sandbanks however these tend to change locations with the tides and are not usually mapped.

Maldives has a very friendly and welcoming population. The official language is called Dhivehi (or Maldivian) which is a sort of hybrid version of Arabic, Hindi, and English but most Maldivians can speak English with no problems.

Islam is the state religion and our timing put us here right in the middle of Ramadan (the 9th month of the Islamic lunar calendar, when the new crescent moon can first be seen). During Ramadan, Muslims worldwide fast from sunrise to sunset. And Jill and I in the middle of it. No alcohol allowed and no food during daylight hours. Forced detox it is.

Now let’s not be silly here this place is stunning…and we have only seen a minuscule amount of it. Warm, open waters of every shade of black, blue and green that you can imagine and white sandy beaches everywhere you look. Even walking out of the Male Airport you are not met with the usual grey bitumen cab rank, you are greeted by pristine blue waters and your taxi is invariably a high-powered water taxi.

This place is also hot. The numbers don’t show it (28-32 degrees) but the feels like is always reported around the 38 mark. This is mainly because there is no avoiding the sun. It hits you on the way down and reflects off the gleaming white sand and hits you on the way back up. The up side to this is that you are just a quick dip in the water away from dropping your body temperature considerably.

Some of the islands and atolls are named using local names while others are merely known by the particular resort that has been established there. Eleven of the Islands are serviced by airports with the remaining 1181 islands being serviced by boats (of varying quality and standard). Male is the main international airport with other islands having smaller local airports, and seaplanes servicing many of the other islands.  

Important Note: your flight time and the boat/ferry times are unlikely to match each other. This will be a critical point when planning your trips, particularly for arrivals and departures. The local ferry is cheap as chips, the fast ferry is around $25 USD/head and a private boat could be any number they think of.

We set up camp on a little island called Guraidhoo, which was about 36km south of the capital Male that we got to on a high powered jet boat (for $50 USD each way). It is small (about 700m by 500m but has numerous shops, dive and tour operators, and a few restaurants.

80% of the Maldives’ GDP is generated through tourism with over 1.5 million people visiting annually. Other than that there are is boat building and a few cottage industries (handicrafts, weaving, embroidery etc).

There are over 130 resort islands, including almost all of the top hotel chains. As with everywhere, the accommodation ranges from the top of the line to the cheap and cheerful depending upon your budget. These numbers also go up and down depending on the time of the year and season.

I found 5 star rooms and villas on offer for between $2200 and $4500 USD per night. Needless to say, these were pretty bloody nice. The place directly opposite our island had bungalows over the water for $1500 a night and the ones with pools were more than double that.

I also found some all-inclusive deals that started for around $400USD a night and they went up from there. Oh, the other factor here is that you can get booze on some (if not all) of the resort islands.

Our place, by comparison, was a meagre $60 Australian a night and included breakfast. When we go out for dinner we hit one of the few restaurants on the island and our general spend is between $20-25 USD for our meals. This includes a restaurant where your feet are in the sand while you eat. Bear in mind that there is no alcohol included in this price as we are in a Muslim country.

The streets are not paved but are made of a sandy/coral mix, which means you are virtually on the beach 100% of the time. The Bikini beach was a 3 minute walk for us and was stunning. Jill got into the pattern of heading out to the beach after breakfast and lazing under one of the cabanas (with regular dips into the ocean) and returning at around 5 pm. I on the other hand would pop in once or twice a day for an hour or two to get my swim in and chat.

The funny thing was that each day a boat would arrive from one of the resort islands and drop off a bunch of people to laze on our beach, because it was nicer.

 After a few days of lolling around on the beach we decided to do a day trip. These are available for about $500-700 USD per day, but the price per person drops the more people that go. We managed to get on one that was $100USD / head. It was meant to include dolphins, turtles, sting rays, sharks, snorkelling, lunch, sandbank and manta rays. We were warned in advance that it was the wrong time of year for Manta Rays and given that it was Ramadan, lunch did not happen.

As for the rest though…they seriously delivered on all fronts.

Neither of us were that thrilled with the dolphin idea as we have seen them often. In fact, in Perth there is a local pod that lives in the river and swims past regularly. And then we saw a pod of about 100+ dolphins and they were magnificent. The little ones were leaping out of the water and spinning and generally just having a good time.

The boat dude handed out snorkels and said, jump in…in the middle of the ocean. Everyone stared at each other not too sure, but someone had to make a move so in I went. That was basically the last that I saw of dolphins. They did not come within 20 meters of me and my GoPro.

Jill on the other hand had them swimming all around and underneath her (with no GoPro). I had the ability to capture the images but didn’t get near one, she did not and was surrounded by them.

The next stop was the snorkelling and the turtles. Now this has been on my bucket list for a long time. I have always wanted to swim with turtle and am happy to say that this has now happened. More importantly both Jill and I got to get VERY close to it. From here we hit a local island (Fulidhoo) where we saw the sting rays right on the beach. In fact we can see this every evening at our own island but is was still ok.

From here we headed over to the next stop, which was the sharks. Now this was impressive and terrifying at the same time. We pulled up in the boat and the dude immediately started chumming the water so that the sharks would come to the boat. When there was around 20 sharks under the boat he told everyone to jump in. People were nervous enough in the middle of the ocean with dolphins, needless to say nobody rushed to do this. Jill and I filmed from the boat while I decided that I did not really need to swim with sharks.

These sharks ranged in size from about 2m to 3.5m and google tells me they keep going over 4m. The dude who kept urging us to get in, made the comment not to touch the sharks. I’m not sure how stupid I look but I am pretty sure that this is advice I probably didn’t need to be told. Jill (who is obviously over my company by now and knows the value of my superannuation) kept encouraging me to jump in.

After the first 2 people had gone in with no incident I made my way to the front of the boat and prepared to jump. Just as I was about to leave a shark emerged directly below me, that I would have landed on. Now I don’t know a lot about sharks, but I am pretty sure a fat bugger landing on your back while you are happily swimming along, might prompt you to bite. Anyway, long story short, I jumped in, while my bride watched and filmed from the boat.

I spent the next 20-30 minutes getting bumped into and shoved by sharks. Don’t touch the sharks, bloody well tell them that.

Uninhabited Islands – there are more uninhabited islands in the Maldives than there are inhabited ones, they are the closest you can get to ‘truly untouched’ natural environments. And virtually every resort, guesthouse, hotel will have a day trip to private sandbanks and uninhabited islands. They almost all have powdery sandy white beaches and pristine lagoons. However, a ‘Robinson Crusoe’ experience comes at an expense, both financially and physically. There is often no escape from the heat, and the shifting tides and currents can drastically change the formation of the sandbank throughout the day.

Food

The traditional Maldivian cuisine is known as Dhivehi Cuisine it is a fusion of Indian and Sri Lankan food (more so the Sri Lankan) but heavily influenced by the seafood and coconut that is in abundance. Obviously fish is a staple and many nights during our time here did we eat a lot of fresh whole fish. These varied greatly, depending upon what had been caught that day.

On our last morning before leaving we even tried the Maldivian traditional breakfast. This consisted of a mix of tuna, coconut flesh and onions served with a boiled egg and some chapatis.

Extras – There are some extra hidden costs that sneak up on you, particularly that you are subject to a 10% Service Charge plus a 16% Goods and Services Tax (GST). The GST is applied after the service charge has been added on. In addition, there is a green tax applicable of USD $6 per person per night.

Leaving

Leaving became a bit of an issue as we had a 10:30am flight out and the ferry that came at 7am was a slow one (for $1.50 each) that takes 3 hrs to do the 36km trip. The fast one (for $25 USD each) that takes 30mins came at 9:45 and a private one would have cost us $200 USD. So a last minute scramble saw us heading out from Guraidhoo back to Male and getting a night’s accommodation at Hulhumale. However the hotel helped with all of this (including transfers) and it generally worked out well.

Overview

This place is heaven on earth and we will definitely be coming back. This time we had 10 days on the one Island, with the tour taking us to 2 others and our departure to a third (due to boat and ferry times). Next time we may split this to 5 and 5 moving to another island to get a bit more variety. Besides, there are another 1188 islands that we haven’t been near yet. But Jill has already got a travel alert set up for when there are cheap flights.

While I am certain that the resorts are lovely, so too was our little cheap and cheerful. And regardless of where you stay, you end up swimming in the same crystal clear waters and seeing the same fish, dolphins, sharks and rays.

Vietnam

Hanoi

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Upon arrival in Hanoi, we headed straight to the centre of Hanoi’s old quarter to our accommodation. Last time we stayed in the French quarter and had to walk to get to the restaurants and attractions. This time we put ourselves in the centre of it all. And the centre was exactly where we were. We were surrounded by the hustle and bustle that was Hanoi and it was fantastic.

We wandered the streets and checked out all that was to see in old town and found the expected and unexpected hidden gems. Surprisingly we were able to find bamboo ladder street. This was not the actual name but was a place that we happened upon last time around, and had great bia hoi and food for very little money. I can report that very little has changed, the food is good and the beer is still really cheap.

After a few days of wandering Hanoi, we were joined by one of my oldest and dearest friends, Nadim. Now, Nadim (Dim) and I first met back in primary school and have been through plenty together, including years of rugby. In fact, my first solo international adventure was with Dim, back in 1996 where we visited West Coast USA (staying with his cousin), then on to Europe when he took off to Lebanon and I went on a Contiki tour before meeting up again in London.

Upon his arrival we caught up and were kindly offered accommodation at his sister’s (Aline) place who was on a work placement with her family (Tom and Ian). An offer that was gratefully accepted and resulted in us all in the one place and able to plan our days and activities more easily.

The first day out saw us hitting the usual tourist haunts, starting with the palace/temple (Phu Tay Ho/Kim Nguu) on Westlake around the corner from our new home. The palace was built around the 17th century and was dedicated  to Princess Lieu Hanh. According to legend she is the second daughter of the Jade Emperor and is one of the four immortals. She is known as the “Mother of Heaven – Mother of all peoples”.

Next was off to Hỏa Lò Prison which is more commonly known as the Hanoi Hilton. It was originally used by the French colonists in the late 1800’s to house those Vietnamese that were agitating for independence and later as a place for American POWs.

Next would be off to the Imperial Citadel of Thăng Long but along the way you need to walk past Train Street and the Lenin Statue.

In the centre of Hanoi stands a 5.2 metre statue of Vladimir Lenin, a gift from the Soviet Union in the 1980s, this is the only statue of the Soviet dictator in Southeast Asia.

Hanoi Train Street is a tiny narrow street surrounded by high narrow houses packed closely together where the backyards are the railway and a train passes a few times each day. The tourist bit is only about 100 m long and covers an area where the street is at its narrowest. The train passes literally a metre away from the houses.

Train Street is guarded by corrupt rail guards that will only let tourists in if they agree to buy coffee or beer at one of the restaurants inside (where they get kickbacks). We refused as I have real issues with corrupt officials and being party to their actions. But a couple of times a day the train comes through within a very short distance (centimeters) of the houses and shops that are on the street. Needless to say, this creates much scurrying and putting of things away, and then life goes back to normal…until next time.

The Imperial Citadel of Thăng Long is a complex of historic buildings that were originally built in 1010 and was expanded by subsequent dynasties. Our arrival coincided with the graduation of a large number of students. There were hundreds of children of varying ages dressed in ceremonial outfits and all looking to get photographs at the citadel. We quickly became local celebrities (particularly me this time) shaking hands with, congratulating and posing for photos with a heap of graduating students.

The next day, Dim’s sister Aline had organised a motorbike lesson on the streets of Hanoi. Now lets get serious here. Hanoi traffic is atrocious, in fact, it is for most of Vietnam, so much so that jokes and t-shirts are made bemoaning the quality of the driving.

The USA travel advisory writes this – Traffic in Vietnam is chaotic. Traffic accidents occur frequently. The most common victims are motorbike riders and pedestrians. At least 30 people die each day from transportation-related injuries and many more are injured, often with traumatic head injuries. Traffic accident injuries are the leading cause of death, severe injury, and emergency evacuation of foreigners in Vietnam. Traffic accidents, including those involving a pedestrian and a motorized vehicle, are the single greatest health and safety risk you will face in Vietnam.

So bearing this in mind…we got on some motorcycles and headed off into the chaos. Well most of us did, Jill decided to play it safe and go as a pillion. We started slow in the suburbs and built up to some light traffic as we headed to the Tran Quoc Pagoda is the oldest pagoda in the city constructed in the sixth century the temple was relocated in 1615 to Hồ Tây (West Lake) where it is now situated. 

A slight drama here as one of the group had a minor mishap (not me) resulting in a bruised ego, some shaken nerves and a tiny scratch to a BMW. From here we continued to some heavier traffic and on to a local lunch. Closely followed by a trip to old town amid the real chaos to get a taste of our first egg coffee (more about those later). After that peak hour was hitting, schools were breaking up and we were getting on our bikes and heading back to our starting point.

Lets just say that riding motorbikes in the central part of major Vietnamese cities is challenging. There is a lot going on at all times and it is not for the faint hearted.

Checkbox ticked…did that.

The next day was back on the tourist trail with a trip to the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum Complex. This is a central tourism area that holds the embalmed body of Ho Chi Minh along with a museum dedicated to him.  Included in the complex is the Presidential Palace which was originally built between 1900 and 1906 to house the French governor-general. Ho Chi Minh allegedly refused to live in the palace for symbolic reasons and built a traditional Vietnamese stilt house and carp pond on the grounds. In 1975 his house and the grounds were made into the Presidential Palace Historical Site.

 A short walk away is the Vietnamese Museum of Military History. This was an interesting way to spend an afternoon with much to see including some big boys toys to photograph.

On the grounds of the museum also stood the 200 year old Hanoi Flag tower which was built in 1812 as an observation post to the Hanoi Citadel. Unlike many other structures in Hanoi, it was not destroyed during the French invasion (1896-1897) and was continuously used as a military post.

West Lake (Hồ Tây) is the biggest freshwater lake in Hanoi. It is northwest of the city centre and has a shore length of 17 km and is a popular place for recreation with many surrounding gardens, hotels and villas.

Ngoc Sun Temple This sits on a small island in the Hoan Kiem Lake just near old town. It was built in the 19th century in commemoration of Tran Hung Dao, the greatest military commander of the Tran Dynasty.

For the first time in a very long time I made my way to church as we visited the Hanoi cathedral (St Josephs) which is a late 19th century, neo gothic style church. It is the oldest church in Hanoi and still holds services.

One of our greatest finds in Hanoi was a tiny little curry joint that had rotis that were about a meter long and around 40 cm wide. We first saw it on day two and after seeing the incredible roti I had to go there. One Roti and a curry could not be finished by Jill and I together. Once Nadim arrived, we took him after our journey to the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum and the War Museum. And just before finally leaving we had one last foray. Needless to say we had about 5 different curries over the period and they were all good.

Vietnam air quality is terrible.

We have not seen a blue sky since arriving in Vietnam due to the smog and smoke. A little bit of research will tell you that there are there are over 65 million registered motorcycles in Vietnam, equaling around two-thirds of the population. Official statistics also report that there are around 60 000 deaths each year that are air pollution-related. So I kept digging and found the AQI (air quality index). This is a numerical measure of the quality of the air in cities around the world, with the various scales represented in the image below.

To give some context to this number, at the time of writing I checked each of Australia’s Capital cities and every one of them returned a reading of 10 or lower (although there was not one monitoring station in all of Tasmania). As I was in Singapore at the time, I checked there and the number was 30. While we were in Hanoi this number never fell below 115 (reported daily) and at its peak hit 185.

According to official Vietnamese sources the major cause behind air pollution in Hanoi is emissions from transport, industrial production activities at factories, urban construction and the burning of straw after harvests.

What we saw was masses of local burning…EVERYWHERE.

The street sweeping ladies would wander along and sweep up all of the leaves and put them into piles and then into plastic bags throughout the day. As they were finished an area and ready to move on they set light to the plastic bag sending the smoke and toxins into the air. At any point in time there may be 5-10 of these burning on a small street at any one time. And this happens citywide.

Vietnamese Coffee

I added this so that I didn’t finish on an air pollution downer. Vietnamese Coffee is famous for a number of reasons. The first is that it is typically a rich and strong brew. Vietnamese robusta coffee tends to have chocolatey and nutty flavor notes, which are a result of robusta having 60% less sugars and fats than arabica coffee. It is tasty and due to a shortage of “real milk” it usually comes with condensed milk, making it super sweet and strong. A real early morning heart starter.

Egg coffee is a Vietnamese nationally acclaimed specialty made of egg yolks, sugar, condensed milk, and robusta coffee. Back in the 1950’s, the inventor of egg coffee (Mr. Giang), developed the recipe by replacing milk with egg yolks when milk was scarce.

Coconut Coffee – This is served cold and has the equivalent of a sweet coconut slushie on top of the coffee. Coconut cream, condensed milk and ice are blended and the cooled coffee is poured over the top.

Manpering – I found out that Dim was as much of a fan as manpering as I am, haircuts, shave massages, he did the lot. However he did express some concern at my urgings to get a haircut and straight razor shave from a street-side barber, the $3 price tag won out in the end. I did the same a few days later after Dim had gone home, while Jill got a pedicure a few doors down.

This photo was taken on ladder street. It didn’t really have a story but we loved it and had to find a way of including it in our running blog. The stresses of life in Vietnam.

While I started this post with the sentence – We were surrounded by the hustle and bustle that was Hanoi and it was fantastic. I did not feel the same way by the time we left 3 weeks later. The constant beeping of horns was doing my head in. Some drivers and riders sat on their horn and while at the beginning this was cute, by the end I was threatening to jam that f$£*ing horn down their f$£*ing throats.

We loved our time in Vietnam, but we were also ready to leave by the end of the month.

Vietnam

Cat Ba and Halong Bay

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We visited here twice on this trip…the first one was planned as Jill claims that last time we said that we should spend the night on a boat on Halong Bay rather than just do a day trip. And the other was that Dim was here and you couldn’t come to Vietnam and not see Halong Bay. So this post will cover off on both options that most tourists would do when visiting the famous Halong Bay.

While wandering through the war museum in Hanoi we ran into an met a lovely Italian lady (Chiara) who had ridden out the COVID waves in Melbourne. We all chatted and had lunch (at my favourite Indian joint) and told her we were off to CatBa island and she chose to join in. A quick trip to the bus company and an extra hotel room and we were all set. So four of us set off on our journey.

I re-read the previous post for Cat Ba Island and Halong Bay and everything that I wrote the first time holds true today with one exception. The transit was really easy now, no nightmares just a smooth and efficient transfer. Once on the island, the place is fantastic. The planned developments have partially gone ahead, however COVID slowed the rate of development and also dried up (for now) the influx of Chinese tourists. So at the moment, it is still absolutely lovely.

For decades, Cát Bà has been the launching point for Ha Long Bay and now this has been extended to include Lan Ha Bay. They are basically the inner and outer bays surrounding the island. Lan Ha Bay is made up of around 300 karst islands and limestone sea rocks and is southeast of Cat Ba Island. Lan Ha Bay is equally as beautiful although it is less visited, less inhabited and therefore has the extra appeal of being a more peaceful place.

There is much more here in terms of accommodation, resorts and restaurants than our first trip, but not so much to be silly. Our accommodation was amazing, we had a queen room with a private en suite for the princely sum of $15 a night and it included breakfast. Add to this that the lady on the front desk would bend over backwards to help despite being heavily pregnant. She was a machine.

On our arrival after hte bus trip and ferry ride, we hired scooters for 100,000 dong a day (about $6.50) and after a scooter lesson, given by me, Chiara was up and running with zero fear. This terrified Dim and I, as we knew what could go wrong. But she was fearless and two days later she was even riding with a pillion (a British women she met on the day trip).

We organised a day trip and the next morning took off on the traditional Cat Ba day trip. This included a boat trip around the bay, kayaking, beach time, swimming, a huge lunch and capped off by a fish massage at a local fishing village. This is basically exactly what we had done a decade earlier (with the exception of the feet eating fish). There is a similar day trip option leaving from Hanoi every morning and getting back the same night. I do not recommend this as you are adding 3-4 hours of driving on top of what is an already full day and you will be missing out on most of the activities.

After a full day on the water we headed to the bridge (where Jill and I had eaten and drank so many years earlier) and the four of us had a meal by the bridge (including beers) for 510,000 (about $35). All in all a great way to spend a day. And most importantly we capped it off with a street stall pancake like the ones in Thailand.

Nadim, Jill and I were on the bus back to Hanoi while Chiara chose to stay on and explore the island some more (on the motorbike with the British girl she met on the boat). We did meet up again briefly in Hanoi before she headed back to Italy then we headed to the next point in the journey.

After a bit more time in Hanoi, Dim went home and we headed to our pre-arranged tour and cruise on Halong Bay. This one was a bit flasher than the Cat Ba Trip (certainly a lot more expensive). This was a 2 day cruise of Halong bay, leaving from Hanoi and sleeping overnight on the water. It was lovely, the meals were magnificent and the rooms were amazing, especially given where we were.

While the cruise boat was much nicer, you still got on one of the dodgy boats for all of the daytime activities. And all of the activities were identical, which was fine but we had done it all a week earlier.

Having done Halong Bay in 2 of the 3 main ways available I must say that option 1 of the day trip from Hanoi is a bust and I really discourage this as there is too much to see in one day and it would have been exhausting and unsatisfying. The 2 day trip was much better. You are not pushed for time, you have a night on the water and the tours are all included. But it is seriously expensive.

My choice would be the Cat Ba Island option. Having spoken to Jill about the overall costings the price we paid for our 2 day cruise was about 5 times more than our Cat Ba trip, and the only difference was that we slept on the water. For the amount we spent on the 2 day cruise we could have spent a week on Cat Ba (including accommodation) and had different tours and trips every day (all within the same budget).

Sunworld (if you remember from back in the Danang Post)is in the process of establishing itself on Cat Ba island. The cable car is already in place and the resort is currently being built, along with what will likely be another Disneyland-type development. When it is finished, the entire Cát Bà cable car system will be 21.9 km long with 5 stations spanning the sea to link the towns including Cát Bà national park. When finished, this cable car will have the longest cable line in the world.

Vietnam

Danang

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We came to Danang last time around and really liked the place, although there was very little really to do here. Well, that has changed considerably since our last visit. In 2017 the golden bridge was built and has quickly become one of the most visited and photographed things in all of Vietnam. I saw the images and decided that this was something that I really wanted to see.

Being up in the hills, and incredibly popular I have been warned that the bridge may well be shrouded in clouds or packed with people. Anyway, that is why we are here, more about the bridge a bit later on and we will see which version of the bridge we will get to encounter.

The other thing that we saw when we were here last time was the dragon bridge. This was a bridge that had its curves painted and styled to resemble a dragon. It didn’t particularly do anything but was an interesting enough oddity.

Well, this too has changed, the bridge has had a heap of lights added to it and of an evening it cycles through a range of colours, however, I still think that the original yellow is the most striking.

Oh yes, they added a couple of other features. Every Friday and Saturday night, to coincide with the riverside night market, at 9pm they put on a fire and water show.

The dragon literally spits fire…

and water, while thousands watch on with awe.

All in all, it is an excellent way to bring people to the city and have them in a central location. From here you have the markets with tons of fresh seafood on offer, along with the usual tourist fare of trinkets. The area is full of restaurants, vendors and performers. All in all it is an excellent evening and is highly recommended.

After this we organised a day trip out to the Cham Islands which is a 15 square-kilometer island cluster consisting of 1 main island and 8 surrounding small islands. It is about 20km from Hoi An and 45 from Danang. We actually tried to go the day before but strong winds meant that the government banned the tourism operators from taking people out.

As we got our tour pulled we decided to walk down to the beach and check that out.

Having gone out the next day, which was dramatically calmer, we were glad they stopped the trip. The seas were brutal. You are in a high powered speed boat, that holds about 30 people, and you belt across the straights at full tilt being bashed and bounced every inch of the journey. And that was on a calm day. Having arrived, the main island was pretty stunning as was the seafood lunch on offer.

Unfortunately, most Vietnamese people cannot swim. This means that they get loaded up in life vests and floatation rings, with goggles on, and tramp all over the reef and coral. So that which is left has been and continues to be pummelled.

And now on to the reason we came to Danang again, the Golden Bridge, situated in the Ba Na hills. On our way to the mountain, the guide told us that there had only been 4 good days of viewing over the last 30, so our expectations were suitably low.   

The Ba Na hills area was once a mountain retreat for French emigres, back in colonial times, but had been long since forgotten due to limited road access. The solution to this was to join with European engineers and build the world’s biggest cable car at 5,801 meters in length. Additionally, this cable line has the largest height difference between the upper and lower stations in the world.

This was the introduction that you have, as you ride the almost 6 km cable car up to the French Village and La Jardin D’Amour Gardens. I had only ever seen the images of the bridge online. I did not realise that it was actually part of some massive, artificial amusement park akin to a Vietnamese version of Disneyland, known as Sunworld.

The bridge itself is 150m long, 12.8m wide and is made up of 8 arches and obviously has the two main supports sculpted to look like two giant stone hands.

While it is all fake, it is still very impressive to see and is nonetheless impressive. 

As for the type of day we got…not a blue sky in sight. It was cloudy and wet and cold, considerably colder than I had counted on. In fact, I think it was around 10-15 degrees colder up the mountain than it was on the flat of Danang.

At the first stop you have the bridge and a French Village, which has been designed to look like an old fashioned France lined with recognizable classical landmarks such as the square, church, town, old village and inns.

From the bridge and gardens, you get on another cable car that takes you up to Sunworld proper. This is the blingiest fantasy theme park around…but I’m not sure that it means to be. I think that the attempts to re-create European cityscapes and plazas were genuine. There are castles, fountains, cathedrals, you name it…they are incredibly kitsch and tacky looking but fun nonetheless.

Fantasy Park is the largest indoor game zone of Vietnam that includes countless games, recreations and sports for families. The Jurassic Park is a must-visit for fans of movie with animatronic dinosaurs around every corner.

Besides, this complex also puts on offer the first wax museum of Vietnam, in which lifelike figurines are modeled after prominent figures worldwide. A personal favourite of ours was the incredibly blingy Helios Waterfall. This was some type of reimagining of the Spanish steps in Rome, the fountains of Versailles and who knows what else. The blurb tells you to “Admire the collection of classic god statues such as Helios, Apollo, Bacchus, Venus, Athena, and 15 other gods”. All of the statues were painted golden and glistened in the sunlight, oh and the photo with blue skies is Jill’s Camera doing tricks, there was no blue sky in sight.

The one thing that must be said is that the landscaping was incredible. The amount of effort and expense that must have gone into it was phenomenal and it was by far the standout for me. This goes for the entre place. There are obviously feature gardens that are lovely but even just walking around, each path is meticulously done and maintained.

And of course there was the usual amount of funpark randomness to be seen as you wended your way through the place.

As fake and tacky as some of this was, it was still a really good day. The buffet lunch that was included was incredible, the bridge was exactly what it seemed like and if you were willing to fight with the thousands of instagrammers you could get some nice photos. The earlier you arrive the better your chances.

And as a non-gardener…they really need to be commended…they even managed to impress me.

Vietnam

Back in Vietnam

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Well, what a difference a few years have made. Vietnam has gone ahead in leaps and bounds since our last visit. So much has changed, and for the most part, they seem to have gone ahead, rather than backwards during the COVID crisis. The economy seems to be booming and there are not the large volumes of empty or derelict shops, that we have encountered everywhere else so far.

Sadly this has impacted our exchange rate, on our last trip, we were getting around 20,000 dong per Aussie dollar. Whether our currency has totally tanked, or the Vietnamese economy has strengthened, this is down closer to 15000 today.

The introduction back into Vietnam through Ho Chi Minh was poor, as the immigration process was long, painful and cumbersome. We got off our plane and spent the next 90 minutes inching forward in a seemingly unmoving line. Eventually we did make it out of the airport and made our way to the accommodation.

Interestingly, the name Ho Chi Minh City seems to have reverted back to Saigon in virtually all local parlance. The first thing that strikes you is how clean it is. Major efforts have been, and continue to be, made in cleaning up the city. The roads are good, wide and there are lanes that, for the most part, are used. Footpaths now exist and are in good order (even if they still have motorbike parking all over them).  

The first time around it took us a while to get the feel for Vietnam, it didn’t really appeal on first hit. But the further north we went, the further away from the touristy beaches, the more we came to like it. Another big sticking point last time around was the abundance of coriander and cucumber in almost every dish.

Another big sticking point last time around was the abundance of coriander and cucumber in almost every dish. Being both more seasoned travellers and better prepared, the picture on the right was captured and saved and is shown each time I sit down to eat.

The central Bến Thành Market has had an external refresh with a large paved area out the front now, giving easy access. The market itself does however seem to have transformed fully into a tourist market (rather than the 70% that it was before).  

Also, the rumbling of motorcycles has calmed. The introduction of electric bikes has reduced some of the rumble that used to exist from the masses of motorbikes. Don’t get me wrong, the rumble is still there but it is considerably reduced from that which formerly existed. Even some of the honking of horns has reduced.

The traditional dress for women that used to be widely worn, has all but disappeared (in Saigon at least). This has been replaced with the shortest of short pants and skirts that seem to be everywhere. The pendulum seems to have swung to the other extreme.

The abundance of ladyboys seems to have gone through the roof. While they were always there, this time around, they seem to be more prevalent. The other thing that has exploded is the use of padded underwear to give a womanly shape. This applies to the ladyboys and the women alike. We sat at a bar and watched the parade as people with very interesting shapes passed us by. I decided that these would forevermore be known as Bumderwear.

The one thing that has not changed is the variety, quality and cheapness of the food. Even with such a drop off in exchange rates, food and beverage in Vietnam remains very cheap with incredible value to be found for under $5.

Our first lunch was a Banh Mi from a street vendor who was charging a ridiculous 22,000 dong ($1.30) for a pork roll with the lot. So for under $5 Jill and I were fed and got a drink each.

When we were here last time we saw the worst that western tourism can bring to a developing country…particularly in the south. Lots of old fat men trying to pick up small Asian women (LBFM’s for those that know the terminology). Add to this the hordes of Russians camping out on the beaches turning them into their on personal raves with lights and doof doof music everywhere. And the worst bit for us was the Aussie Bogan. This was really cringeworthy, with large volumes of Aussie tourists making asses of themselves in the bars, pubs, streets and markets.

Much of the old man issue has gone (as at March 2023) but I am certain that it is just a matter of time before the sex tourism trade will pick up again. While we did not head south to the beaches this time around, it was clear that Vietnam is currently overrun with Russians fleeing the war. I can only assume that the southern areas and beaches are still noisy beach parties. Certainly, the chats that we had with people suggested that this was the case. And as of last night, the return of the Aussie Bogan, the trickle has started. While not yet overrun, we saw the first of the tattoos, mullets, binge drinking and the use of the F word as a comma in every sentence.

Philippines

Filipino Food

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On first glance the notion of food in the Philippines is a train wreck. Getting off the plane and travelling through Manila you will see huge volumes of American junk food chain stores on every block. Golden arches, burger king, KFC, pizza, Krispy Kreme, Starbucks and many more, they are all here, and here en masse.

Add to this a large number of local versions mimicking the American chains and there is no apparent hope in sight. Jollibee is a local fried chicken and burger joint that has sides that include rice and spaghetti. The spaghetti looks like a typical spag bol, but the sauce is much sweeter and is more akin to pouring jam on top of the pasta. I have been reliably informed that the chicken is actually pretty good.

Even a simple wander down a street will yield huge quantities of burgers, hotdogs and fried chicken. While I do accept that there is a place for these, surely this cannot be the main diet. Then you go to a store and find that all of the bread is HEAVILY sugared. This stuff is seriously sweet and even if you ask, there is no non-sweetened version available.

With the exception of the naming of certain items, very little of the Spanish influence seems to have lasted. Perhaps it is the availability of ingredients but the food here is much more localised in nature and is very different from what you may expect (or hope for) id a place with such a strong Spanish history.

Our first foray was to order food at the rooftop restaurant of our hotel, what a disaster. We tried to order a nachos, but ended up with cucumber, mayonnaise and canned american spray on cheese (cheese whiz) over the top of corn chips. There was no meat, no spice, no chilli, no sour cream and no guacamole. It was not heated, it was terrible. This was added to by a side of Hungarian sausage and some heavily garlic mushrooms.

Lechon was the first dish to turn the corner for us. It refers to spit-roasted pig or pork belly and is one of the most beloved and culturally significant Filipino foods. This was the first meal that we had that was not sickly sweet or sold from a large chain store. There is a chicken version that is known as lechon manok. Needless to say the chicken is nowhere near as good as the crispy pork.

Crispy pata was the second dish to get us over the Filipino food rut. This is in essence deep-fried pork trotters or knuckles served with a dipping sauce made with vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, onions, sugar, and ground black pepper (mine had a heap of fresh chilli added).  This is a version of lechon, but given that it is the trotters, there is way more crispy skin to go around.

Pork Sisig – Is the one dish in the Philippines that best represents Filipino cuisine.As it turns out, the first bar that we had a drink with Brad and Nora, were giving away a free Sisig with every bucket of beer sold.

It is made with chopped pork face, ears, and chicken liver served on a cast iron sizzling plate. It was invented around the mid-1970s when a former US air base was seen to be discarding large amounts of pig’s heads. turns out, the first bar that we had a drink with Brad and Nora, were giving away a free Sisig with every bucket of beer sold.

Chicharon is basically just bags of crackling. It is the bits of a beast that can be made crispy once chopped up and deep fried. The main version Chicheron bituka is pork intestines that have been chopped up into bite-sized pieces and deep-fried.

Other meats are also used such as Chicharon manok which is deep-fried chicken skin, while chicharon bulaklak is deep fried ruffle fat pictured above), usually served with vinegar to help cut the fat.

Liempo is pork belly. It’s a popular dish that can be enjoyed with rice as an entree or as bar chow with beer. It’s usually served with a dipping sauce made with soy sauce and vinegar or vinegar with garlic and chili.

Lumpia is the local version of spring rolls.typically filled with sauteed ground pork, onions, carrots, raisins, and other vegetables

Longganisa is Filipino sausage, as with everywhere in the world, these are many and varied, and change from region to region.

By now you must be seeing a pattern. If it is not chain store junk food then it is pork, fatty pork, deep fried dishes and mystery meat parcels.

Adobo is everywhere, it is almost impossible to avoid. It is some type of meat, seafood, or vegetables (mostly chicken) that is marinated in a braising mixture of vinegar, soy sauce, black peppercorn, bay leaves, and garlic. If you do any type of tour or anything involving a set menu Adobo will be there.

Batchoy was the dish that we happened to order with our Lechon. This is a noodle (pancit) soup with pork or chicken meat in a clear broth. It was ok without being startling, however it was neither sweet nor oily and greasy, which was a blessing. It also introduced us to our first taste of the ubiquitous Calamansi.

Chicken inasal is one of the favorite Filipino comfort foods. It is charcoal grilled chicken marinated in calamansi, vinegar, pepper, and achuete. It is continuously basted with the marinade.

Pancit refers to a category of mainly Chinese-inspired noodle dishes usually made with rice noodles, vegetables, meat, and seafood. Chilli, soy and calamansi regularly also make an appearance.

Sinigang is another popular and important dish in Filipino cuisine. It is a type of soup or stew characterised by its sour and savory flavors Sinigang is usually made with different vegetables and some type of meat or seafood like pork, beef, shrimp, or fish. It’s usually paired with white rice and served with patis (fish sauce) as a condiment.

Bulalo is a light-colored soup made with leafy vegetables, corn on the cob, and beef shanks filled with bone marrow.

Kaldereta (or caldereta) is a goat meat stewed in tomato sauce. The one we had in Coron was not stewed long enough (so Nora tells us) as the meat was still tough and did not fall off the fork as it should have. THe Flavour though was fantastic.

Bangus refers to milkfish which is the national fish of the Philippines. As with the Adobo, this one is pretty hard to dodge, it will be served up at almost every opportunity. The taste is fine, without being startling. But be warned the milkfish is a very bony fish and you should be careful when eating them.

Silog has become our local breakfast option (whether you like it or not). it is basically a category of Filipino breakfasts that always include (VERY) garlic fried rice, and a fried egg. From here everything is on the table as to the type of meat that you add to it.

We have had so many variations that it would be crazy to list, needless to say pork and chicken is high on the list with a wide variety of how they are cooked. Spam, bacon, ham, sausage, hotdog, chorizo, corned meat, fish all feature and they all have their own name like Bacsilog for bacon or spamsilog for spam…and the list goes on.

And of course, my favourite, was the boodle fight. Such a simple concept, executed to perfection and a joy to take part in. I have been noticing, of recent times, the social media trying to replicate the concept with a dump meal. The modern equivalent seems more to mean dumping out the contents of the take away bag an hoeing in. The Filipino version is much more sophisticated, elegant and yummy.

And some stuff is just wrong and should not be eaten…

Balut is a fertilized duck egg embryo that’s been incubated for 14-21 days, boiled, and then eaten directly from its shell.

Now I have eaten some weird stuff over the years. Deep fried tarantulas, snakes, scorpions, any number of bugs and creepy crawlies. But Balut, no way on this earth will one of these pass my lips.

Summary

If you can get past the initial impressions, Filipino food is quite good. If you avoid the chain stores (at all cost) and limit the porky, crackly goodness that abounds, there are decent meals to be had. Garlic is a VERY big thing in almost all of the dishes, so if there is any fear of vampires then the Philippines may be for you.

Don’t get me wrong, even I, one of the world’s biggest carnivores, was looking for a salad by about half way through.

As a parting gift, our last meal before leaving was in fact Jollibee.

Philippines

Boracay

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Boracay is another of the islands in the central Philippines. Boracay has been listed many times as one of the best islands and beaches in the world by all the travel experts. The island itself is tiny, being only seven kilometres long, and less than one kilometre wide at the narrowest spot. The total area is 10.32 square kilometres and it is packed with resorts, particularly along the west coast where White Beach is lined by palm trees, and directly behind them come the bars and restaurants.

In short, this place is tourist central. But unlike most places we have been to lately, this place is mainly for the locals to come. Not so many western tourists here, the lion’s share of people are local Filipinos enjoying the beach, diving, snorkelling, dining, and parties.

Our first raid on arrival was to wander down to White Beach for the famous sunset. Us along with about 2-3000 other people. This truly is a very popular beach. The sun sets here around 6:00 pm all year round and it is the busiest time on the beach, with lots of people taking pictures and enjoying the view.

After sunset, the beach path gets very busy with a lot of people hitting the various restaurants and bars until around midnight when the bars become quiet as people move from the bars to the clubs. We are old so we typically bail by about 10 after dinner and a few drinks.

Day two saw us jumping on the Island hopping tour so that we could get a good taste of vitamin SEA. The itinerary included stops to Puka Beach, Crystal Cove, Crocodile Island, Magic Island and Coral Garden. Puka Beach was just a nice beach to loll about with some rather impressive sand art and Crocodile Island, surprisingly, looked a bit like a crocodile. Coral Garden was nice but a bit busy, rough and a bit too much current for good snorkelling. This was made a little harder by a few Japanese tourists, who clearly did not swim too well and were thrashing about hitting anyone within range – not to mention scaring away all of the fish.

The thing that amused Jill the most was the Instagrammers. Almost without exception, they all hired the crystal canoes (plastic see through numbers) and spent the better part of 20 -30 minutes contorting themselves while the poor local paddling them about had to take photos of them. They were sitting, kneeling, lying, hanging over the side, just about anything to get their perfect shot. And they were doing it by the dozen as the shallow clear waters were full of these crystal canoes that had turned into photo studios.

Crystal Cove was the main port of call (and a 300 peso per person extra). This is a small island surrounded by very nice turquoise waters, with a couple of caves. On top of the coves, various huts and platforms have been built that overlook the water and waves hitting the rocks of the cove. Underneath is a hole with stairs leading down the cave and a natural pool where you can take a dip.

On the east coast, is Bulabog Beach its strong winds make this side a hub for water sports. This also means that this is all the western tourists, that were missing from White Beach, have gone to hide. The place is chock full of expensive resorts, overpriced restaurants (and I thought the prices at White Beach were high) and expensive past times. The sky is full of kite surfers and the water full of windsurfers – invariably all western, and the street is full of touts.

We thought that we would bum around on this beach as it was less busy, however the wind meant that a lot of debris had blown up on shore and it was not that nice. With the exception of the 100 meter strips in front of the major resorts, where they employed people to rake and sweep the beach constantly.

Nearby is Mount Luho, the highest peak on the island. While only a bit over 100 metres above sea level there is an observation deck that offers panoramic views over the island.

After hitting the tourist spots we decided to have a nice beach day. We headed out to White Beach, waiting an appropriate time for all the tours to go. Even then we got there too early as there was a steady stream of tour boats setting off until almost noon. A bit over the free breakfasts (Silog) we found a cafe that did real coffee (a bit over the 3-in-1) and after ordering found out that they also had real bread (not full of sugar). So Jill had the bacon and egg burger and I had an omelette with mushroom and gruyere cheese.

In short, Boracay is truly one of the nicest beaches in the world and its place on the lists warranted. It is long, with some of the finest sand that I have encountered and generally pleasant. The island however, is much more suited to scuba divers than it is for snorkelers. The nearby reefs have been hit hard by tourists and the currents are a bit too strong for most swimmers. A few meters down, these issues tend to go away. As you can see from the map below there are many dive sites surrounding the island.

Missed piece: this bit happened in Coron but I forgot to add it and it was one of Jill’s favourite things. After the departure of Brad and Nora, Jill and I went out to dinner. We sat down and I ordered a bucket of beer (6 bottles) the waitress turned to Jill and said ‘and for the lady’. This had Jill laughing for quite a while.

Sadly, in our transit to Borocay, an event overshadowed this. So much so that Jill will almost wets herself every time she thinks of it. We were sitting in the waiting area of the airport waiting for the assured gate change. When it came, we were approached by a very meek Filipina girl to advise us of the change (a fact that we knew and were about to move). At this point she looked at me and asked ‘are you wheelchair’, in disgust I got up and headed off while Jill virtually needed the wheelchair as she was laughing so much. For the next few hours, all that I heard from my wife was ‘are you wheelchair‘ followed by her cackling.

Philippines

Coron

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Coron, is the main town on the island of Busuanga and is one of the top tourist places in the Philippines, best known for World War II-era wreck diving. But in addition to this, there are heaps of limestone karst landscapes (almost identical to the Chinese Stone forest), some nice beaches, crystal-clear freshwater lakes, and shallow-water coral reefs.

Error number one: We met up with good friends Brad and Nora. Now, while Nora is lovely, Brad has been variously described as a marsupial beer sponge, a Japanese game show contestant and many more and worse things. Unfortunately, Brad and I feature strongly in each other’s (acts of stupidity) stories, going back many years. Whenever something stupid occurs, invariably, Brad and I are somehow involved and there was no responsible adult there to supervise us. I am certain that Brad is to blame for all of this, however, he may have a different opinion.

But to make a point, Brads first act when we met up was to introduce us to a local cocktail known as the Weng Weng. This is, in essence, a shot of all of the bottom shelf spirits mixed with pineapple and orange juice and the name roughly translates to shitfaced. The official ingredients list is vodka, tequila, brandy, bourbon, scotch, rum, cubed ice, orange juice, pineapple juice and a dash of grenadine. And they come in 1.5 and 3 litre towers (pictured above).

The second thing he did was bring into play both towers and buckets of beer. We had been happily sipping away on the local Pale Pilsen (at 5% abv) but once Brad arrived this quickly got swapped out for the 8% Red Horse and Weng Weng (of course). On the up side it did come with some pretty amazing sunsets.

Coron Bay is a famous dive location as it has the remains of ten Japanese WWII shipwrecks that were sunk on 24 September 1944. These ships (according to wiki) were the Akitsushima, Okikawa Maru, Irako, Kogyo Maru, Olympia Maru, Taiei Maru, Kyokuzan Maru, East Tangat Gunboat and Lusong Island Gunboat.

While everything is really close, you still need to hop on a boat and head to the islands for quality snorkeling, scuba or wreck diving. The boats are a type of motorised outrigger and the cost to get to these (as part of a tour) ranges from around 1000-1500 pesos ($28-42) with the cost of hiring snorkel gear (150 pesos pp) on top. They also offer the hire of plastic canoes/kayaks for 1500 pesos).

So we hopped on our first Coron Island Tour (B), as the A tour was overly busy that day, and took off to the twin lagoons (these two lagoons are separated by a narrow cliff and you can get between them by either swimming under the cliff (on low tide) or climbing some narrow wooden stairs (on high tide).

Major disclaimer here: Before leaving Australia I was given access to a GoPro with very little knowledge, handover, idea about what I was doing, or ability to edit videos. The abundance of underwater action and a fear of damaging expensive phones, saw the GoPro make its debut. The images and videos are likely to be terrible but if you bear with me I may get better over time.

The next stop was at skeleton wreck which was a 25m long Japanese supply ship that was sunk during WWII. The highest point rests at 5m with the remainder as deep as 22m. This means that s surface snorkel will get you a good view, and those able to free dive can get down and close to the wreck.

Being a wreck it has turned into a mini-reef with tons of fish life around to see and photograph. Reef garden was next and as you may have guessed, it is a reef where you can snorkel.

The next stop was at a beach (which particular beach varies every time, depending upon how many boats are around and how busy each beach is) for lunch.

Closely followed by a trip to Barracuda lake. The lake contains both salt and freshwater and these create large temperature differences (particularly for divers). This is known as thermocline and halocline, however the guides claimed the temperature difference on the surface was more likely due to urine.

The climb to get in is hellish, on possibly the dodgiest set of stairs ever made. The stairs were steep, narrow, wet, mouldy and with cut up car tyre strips for grip. The water for snorkelers is cloudy and the depth makes it hard to see much, but it was a nice place to float along in the water. And then, all of a sudden, BAM, out of nowhere, a one meter barracuda swims underneath you. I thought that barracuda lake was just a name, until it swam past, Jill reckons she saw two of them.

After such a big day on the water, we were relatively well shattered. A quiet night was followed by a day off the next day, with the exception of a late afternoon trip to the Macquinit hot springs. These are about 30 mins out of town and is one of the few saltwater hot springs in the world.

The trip is a very tough, dusty and uncomfortable ride on a tricycle (tuk tuk) so we opted for the hire of a bongo van instead. Once there, the thermal pool temperature is between 37° and 40° Celsius and is supposed to be more soothing and more therapeutic the longer you stay in there. That said, they also tell you not to stay in for more than 10 mins at a time.

The next day we were back in tourist mode hitting the Coron Island Tour (A). The first stop was at Quin Reef which was pretty much the same as the Reef Garden, but the snorkelling was nice and we saw nice coral, fish and starfish. Then on to CYC beach (Coron Youth Club) for a look and a paddle about.

The next stop was Las Isla de Coral, another good snorkelling spot followed by a beach for lunch. Lunch was identical both days, and from what we could see was identical for every boat. It was fairly simple but consisted of grilled fish, prawns and chicken coupled with seaweed, rice and veggies and capped off with fruit. After lunch, it was on to Green Lagoon, which we had driven through the day before as it was the area surrounding the twin lagoons. Needless to say, this is an area with clear green waters where you can swim and snorkel.

The last stop was Kayangan Lake which is a crystal-clear freshwater lake that has underwater rock formations, caves and islets. It’s a popular spot for photographers, for fairly obvious reasons, and is said to be the cleanest lake in all of the Philippines.

Another day off and the departure of Brad and Nora left us to take the final tour, being the reef and wrecks tour. There are in fact other tours but one is a town tour, given that the main town is a 3×2 block we figured we could explore this ourselves without having to pay 600 pesos per person. The last tour took in the East Tangat Gunboat and Lusong Island Gunboat, along with the Lusong Coral Garden and lunch and snorkelling on Pass Island.

The snorkelling was good, the wrecks were the closest to the surface so far and therefore were the easiest to access, and the beach was the best we had visited since arriving.

Bringing Coron to a close, I stopped in for a well overdue shave and a haircut. Total price 120 pesos, this is under $4 for a haircut and a straight razor shave. Those that have been reading along since the beginning may recall that I fell in love with these in India and have consistently attempted to find and have these shaves. Jill tells me that I am ‘manpering’, I am OK with this.

Leaving Coron, we did a quick hop over to Manila for an overnight before heading on to our next port of call.

Philippines

Cebu and Bohol

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Having flown out of Bangkok, we popped in briefly to Manila, Philippines for a few hours before moving on.

The Philippines is made up of 7,641 islands that are broadly categorised into three main geographical regions, being Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao.

The best, and my favourite part of the Philippines is the Jeepney. These are a minibus style vehicle that serves as public transport in the Philippines. They are loud, full of bling, generally plastered in religious iconography, cheap and are just a lot of fun. Anyway, after a brief stop in Manila, we headed off to the island of Cebu.

The island of Cebu is around 200 kilometres long and 20km wide with coral reefs virtually surrounding its entire perimeter. Cebu City is the oldest city in the Philippines and the second largest, behind Manila.  It is also known as the oldest settlement established by the Spaniards in the country.

In April 1521, Ferdinand Magellan arrived (to an already thriving port city), planted a cross and started converting the locals to Christianity. Having converted, the local king then told the Spaniards to go to the (nearby) island of Mactan to kill his enemy. This is where Magellan and his crew were killed.

The cross that Magellan planted in the 16th century was moved in the 1800s to Plaza Sugbo, beside the Basilica del Santo Nino. It is now a bit further from the water in an octagonal building made of coral shells.

The pavilion and the cross itself sustained cracks due to the 2013 Bohol earthquake (which happened while we were here starting our first round of touring). The 2013 earthquake ended up killing 222 people and injuring almost 1000.

Despite the death of Magellan, the Spanish influence remained strong in Cebu and the Philippines more broadly. The country was named in honour of King Phillip II of Spain and it was under Spanish rule for 333 years and later under U.S. tutelage for a further 48 years.

Fort San Pedro is the oldest military defence structure built jointly by the Spanish and local Cebuanois. It was built under the command of Miguel López de Legazpi, the first governor of the Captaincy General of the Philippines.

Miguel López de Legazpi was the founder of the first Spanish settlement. He repelled two attacks by the Portuguese and easily overcame the poorly organized Filipinos’ resistance to lay the foundations for the conversion of the people to Christianity.

The Philippines is the second most-populous Asian country with English as an official language (behind India) and one of only two predominantly Roman Catholic countries in Asia (the other being East Timor). Churches and cathedrals abound in Cebu.

Colon Street is often called the oldest national road in the Philippines as it was built in 1565 during the Spanish colonial period. It got its name from Cristobal Colon, who is more widely known as Christopher Columbus. The street was developed and became the centre of commerce in Cebu with the first few businesses established there. The name Colon Street remains equally as valid today. It seems as though the local sewage and plumbing in the area may not have seen any upgrades (possibly) since the 16th century. As such, the raw sewage smells at various points around town are absolutely putrid and overwhelming.

In fact, certain areas of the city look like slums with shanty housing and homelessness does seem common. The money spent on road and drainage upkeep seems minimal, there is no such thing as a footpath and getting about on foot can be challenging.

Lechon, derived from a Spanish word for roasted suckling pig, is one of the most famous and popular dishes in the Philippines. It is usually stuffed with lemongrass, tamarind, garlic, onions, and chives, and then roasted on a large spit over an open fire. Modern derivatives just do the pork belly, rolled. Cebu is renowned as having the best lechon in the Philippines. It was very good.

Why we need to come back

We did not even scratch the surface of Cebu. There is so much to see and do here that we will need to return and invest some more time exploring. Some of the super cool stuff you can do but we missed include: swimming with whale sharks, turtles and schools of sardines, waterfalls, and so much more. The photos below are of the stuff that we will have to do next time and is from the tour operators.

Bohol

Bohol is an island province consisting of the island itself and 75 minor surrounding islands. It is a popular tourist destination with some ok beaches and many resorts. Getting here from Cebu was a breeze. We took the ferry, which has proven to be our easiest and most comfortable commute so far. We were a bit worried as the official blurb was a bit confusing and contradictory but upon arrival, it was simple, easy and stress free. And the ride was really comfortable with heaps of leg room and the ability to get up and walk around.

In actual fact, from Bohol we crossed a bridge which actually had us sleeping on Panglao Island, but apart from the beaches everything we saw and did was on Bohol.

Butterfly Garden

On our tourist day we hopped in with the 6 others staying at our hotel and headed out for one of those tour days to hit the local sights. We met a great Dutch couple around our age and there were 3 early 20’s polish girls and one of their boyfriends who was Spanish. The first stop on the tour was the butterfly garden that had a few birds and a crocodile and probably had as many pythons as they did butterflies.

The chocolate hills are one of the main attractions. They are exactly what they sound like: rounded hills in the centre of the island, that go brown during the dry season so they end up looking like giant chocolate truffles. They are in fact, mounds of brown limestone formations, believed to have been underwater coral reefs before being pushed up.

As it turned out we were not here in the dry season and the chocolate hills were considerably greener, thereby prompting the conversation as to whether they were mint or pistachio hills. But chocolate they were not. Of course there was an impossibly large and steep staircase to be climbed.

The tarsier

The tarsier is one of the world’s smallest primates in the world, measuring between 85 to 160 mm. The average adult is about the size of an adult human fist making them difficult to spot. Their eyes are huge with the tarsier having the largest eye-to-body weight ratio of all mammals. Their eyes are fixed in their skull and cannot move in their sockets. Instead, they can rotate their heads 180°.

Not usually a fan of monkeys (usually referred to as tree rats) these ones were very sweet and you could not help but like them.

Man made forest

The Bohol Mahogany Forest, more commonly known as the Bilar Man-Made Forest, is a dense forest stretching two kilometres along the border of Loboc and Bilar towns in Bohol. The forest is mainly made up of white and red mahogany trees. It is part of a reforestation project started over 50 years ago that has seen the planting of over 1 million trees.

The forest was very nice and was a great initiative. What did not work was the Instagrammers. Cars were literally stopping dead, parking on blind corners, while a bunch of ‘influencers’ were laying in the middle of the road to get their photos taken. On our way back we had to slam on the brakes and very nearly squished some 20 somethings that were lying in the middle of the road.

Boodle fight

This is a term that we have heard of and had described, but until today had never experienced. A boodle fight is a Philippine military tradition where the table is laid with banana leaves and all of the food is piled up in the middle. The official version is that the soldiers gather around the table and eat while standing up without the use of cutlery.

A conversation with the owner of our hotel suggested it as an option and we jumped on the idea immediately along with the Dutch couple (Michael and Sonia). The younger ones were on a tighter budget and did not want to spend the 1000 pesos per head, we had no such qualms.

This is best done in large groups (unfortunately ours was only for 4 so the volume of food was not as visually impressive as the stock photos above). We dispensed with the standing up rule but we did eat with our fingers throughout. We opted for the seafood version that included, prawns, mussels, clams, sand crabs and a huge fish. This was accompanied by rice, fresh fruit (watermelon and mango) and washed down by one litre bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.

The beaches

Bohol is an island and as you would expect there are a bunch of beaches at most of the inlets and coves. And some of them are really quite nice. As an Australian it is tough to rave over foreign beaches as, for the most part, the Aussie ones are bigger and better. But that does not detract from some very lovely little beaches. The main one is Alona Beach. This is in the heart of the tourist strip and is the launching point for island hopping tours, diving and snorkeling trips and the like. It is also the site of almost constant karaoke overpriced food and tons of touts. The beach is a couple of kilometers long but only 5-10 meters wide at most points and sometimes even less.

Doljo Beach is about 15 kilometres around from Alona Beach but is much less developed with fewer resorts. This means a quieter experience, more marine life and a 3 kilometre beach of white sand.  Bolod Beach is popular among local tourists because it is a public beach with no fees. Bikini Beach is popular for the same reason as well as being the closest one to the ferry and main town (Tagbilaran City). White Beach was the closest to us but was quite similar to Alona beach in terms of the tourist hordes and the karaoke. The beach was free so had many more locals but the constant karaoke (of varying standards) was a little more than I could bear.

Ridiculous Overpricing

Having done the tourist tour we were met with some of the attempts at price gouging that we are usually immune to. The first was at the chocolate hills where they tried to send you on a 1 hr ATV or buggy ride. The price was 1000 pesos (almost $30) per person to ride a buggy or ATV around a field – they told us it was the only way to see the hills and that you could ride up the chocolate hills. These were all lies, you could not go up the chocolate hills at all, you could only ride around the paddock.

We (as a group) rejected this, and when pushed, the driver then took us one kilometer up the road to the public viewing point (that cost 100 pesos each), even here the driver tried to convince us that it was 200 each, but the honest ticket collector kept saying no 100, so he missed out on that little scam too.

A little bit later he tried to take us to lunch on floating restaurant. These are basically floating barges that offer a fixed price buffet for 850 pesos (about $25).

While this does not seem expensive this is way over virtually everything else around (by around 250%). A later check of the reviews showed that the food was terrible and massively overpriced for what you got. The 8 of us on the tour would have paid almost 7000 pesos for lunch. We (as a group) rejected this and went hunting for our driver. He was around the corner in a local cafe, that we also then went to. All 8 of us settled in, ordered food, that was really tasty, had soft drinks each and had dessert. Total bill 1090 pesos (less than $4 a head).

Tourism operators offer services and are more than entitled to earn profits and we encourage and support these at every opportunity. The actual attractions (tarsiers, butterfly garden and chocolate hills) were very reasonably priced and were excellent. They offered extra services (like selfies with the tarsiers or photos holding pythons etc) that are just good business. They are reasonably priced and they add revenue beyond the entrance fees and gift shops.

However, some of the overpriced bolt-on extras are just brazen attempts to bilk the tourists and can be obscene. Our driver and the ATV operators were both caught out lying just to extract more money.

Mactan Island

Having left Palawan and Bohol Islands we caught the ferry back to Cebu (once again seamless and comfortable). Rather than staying in Cebu we headed across the bridge to stay closer to the airport for our early morning flight the next day.

This saw us in Lapulapu City on Mactan Island (the previously mentioned site of Ferdinand Magellan’s death). It was a quick stop but an unpleasant one. The begging was off the charts. Not by the needy but by children who just saw foreigners as a soft mark. As soon as they saw a white face hordes of children had their hands out asking for money.

Travelling the world in a pre and post COVID state